Severely Condemning derogatory ad on men

Save Indian Family Foundation, strongly and severely condemns the Derogatory Ad being telecast at the behest of Kitply Industries. The ad shows a young timid man getting married to a woman and on the first night the bed crumbles. The wife asks the husband, “Kitply nahi laye kya?” (Have you not bought Kitply?) and slaps the husband.

Openly, brazenly and cold – bloodedly this ad not only depicts Domestic Violence on men but also promulgates it, inspiring women to do it and telling men that this is a way of life. World over international studies have proved it beyond doubt that Domestic Violence is not a gender specific issue and is a matter of equal concern for both men and women.

The situation is far worse in India wherein gender biased, lopsided, avaricious, pernicious, draconian, anachronous and unconstitutional anti – male marital laws fail to recognize the presence of Domestic Violence and acknowledge the same for men. Yes, Domestic Violence laws in India do not consider the fact that men too could be victims of Domestic Violence the way women are presumed and prejudiced to be and the Domestic Violence law in India does not allow men to make complaints of Domestic Violence in India.

This despite the fact holding true that as per Government records i.e. suicide date published by National Crime Records Bureau, every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide which is considered as a social service in a great country like India, where 82 % of taxes are paid by men. Neither do men have a Men Welfare Ministry for them nor a National Commission for Men to look into their grievances, whereas animals do have. The condition of Indian men is worse than animals in India.

To add to the woes men are subject to the constant fear of being dragged into false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence draining them financially, socially, morally and spiritually in addition to being victims of Domestic Violence as well at the hands of their vindictive and vicious wives and in – laws who do not forget to file false cases of dowry harassment on the innocent men and their families and drag them to police station and court and unleash Legal Terrorism on them and extort money legally from them.

As if all this was no less, when corporates like Kitply Industries rain on men and promote Domestic Violence on men as a norm and when confronted for the same, shamelessly claim that it has been shown in a humorous mood, and shrug away from accountability. The contention that the ad was shown in a light spirit is subject to critical analysis and not becoming of a brand name Kitply Industries.

Save Indian Family Foundation, the single largest umbrella NGO for about 15 different NGOs fighting not only for men’s rights but also for Gender Equality and Family Harmony, severely condemns such derogatory ads and demands apology from Kitply Industries, failing which Save Indian Family Foundation will be forced to issue legal notices to them to respond properly.

One can only imagine the kind of euphoria that would have been generated if they had shown a man slapping a woman in similar manner. So when activists championing the cause of Equality for Women are crying foul, why are they now silent when Gender Equality is critically endangered and its existence seriously jeopardized with such derogatory ad content. This only depicts the hollow goals with which such activists work and want to rake in the mullah in the name of Women Empowerment and feminism but do not believe in actual equality based on truth and justice.

Save Indian Family Foundation re – iterates its demand of an apology from Kitply Industries and once again puts this question to the civil society and the government that how long are they continuing to consider men as second class citizens in their own country?

Alimony - The Trojan Horse of Matrimony

Irony defining life it seems has become a norm in today’s times. And it does not seem to spare the most controversial social institution, working as first step towards familial life, aka the INDIAN MARRIAGE. The irony here is that what starts as a pompous celebration and extravagant spending ends with financially, emotionally and spiritually draining litigation with mud – slinging from both sides aka the DIVORCE. And ending a marriage is very costly for a man, not only of because the fear of false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence against him but also as he is liable to pay alimony or maintenance pedante lite to his wife.

The concept of alimony, although was designed with a noble intention of prevention of stranded and protection of destitute non – earning spouse, the same has increasingly become the single largest motivating factor for girls to break their marriages at the slightest sneeze of discomfiture in the relationship with their husbands. And in order to gain a beneficial and an empowered bargaining position in the negotiation for alimony they even do not refrain from filing false cases of Dowry Harassment against their husbands and in – laws and getting them arrested to plant fear in their mind to make them succumb to their heavy demands of alimony.

Thus, in today’s dynamic socio – economic scenario, alimony has become the Trojan Horse of matrimony. Girls know it very well that the moment they start losing control in the marriage or over their husband they can always walk out of it by entangling the husband in false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence and harassing him so much that he agrees to pay the heavy ransom girls demand to release him from the forced slavery and give him the costly freedom called divorce.

Was ever alimony in divorce meant to be an easy route to tax – free money? Never. But with the existing rampant corruption amongst the police, judiciary and the legal system, men are made to pay heavy alimonies to their estranged wives for settling the false cases and everyone involved in the settlement gets a share of the pie. The practice is thriving like a flourishing business which is so anti – male in nature that every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide, unable to bear the brunt of fallacy called, The Bad Marriage.

As its definition stands, alimony is subsistence – allowance which allows a non – capable spouse to maintain oneself post divorce. Spouses who are earning or are capable of earning based on their qualifications are not entitled to alimony. One might contend by the above definition that for working women / substantially educated women opting for divorce, as they are not entitled to alimony, their husbands need not worry, but it will be imperative to state here that increasing number of such cases are coming forth where either women have hidden the income and the fact that they earn or deliberately left job to squander money from husband.

Even if the woman is not able to maintain herself, then more than the husband, the parents of the woman are a greater culprit for not properly empowering their daughter with proper education and making her dependent on someone else, expecting that the marriage of their daughter with that person will last for eternity. And is it not the daughter’s right in her ancestral property, her legitimate due that she should get? Why are girl’s parents shrugging away from this responsibility of theirs and discriminating between a daughter and a son when distribution of wealth comes into picture? Why is it expected that only the husband is responsible to maintain the woman even when they are not staying together? Why the girl’s parents are not held responsible for such a condition of their daughter? Will the civil society at least think over these questions if not answer them?

NCW caught red handed speaking lies

National Commission of Women (NCW) needs to be banned for its unethical activities.



1) They openly support adulterous women by claiming them as victims and seek amendments to grant maintenance to adulterous women.

2) They openly say, DO NOT BELIEVE THE MEDIA REPORTS.

3) They openly speak white lies as depicted below in the mail conversation between them. Read on.





Would the NCW like to clarify what does it mean by harsh?



1) Sending innocent mothers and sisters on the basis of an unverified complaint is not harsh?



2) Shielding 56, 000 husband killers is not harsh?



3) Fudging statistics to get foreign funds for implementing anti - family, avaricious, pernicious, draconian, anachronous, anti - male laws and unleashing them unto the society is not harsh?



4) Openly protecting the rights of adulterous, promiscuous women is not harsh?



5) Demanding multiple maintenance from males under pretext of false allegations is not harsh?, And last but not the least.



6) Turning away old mothers tortured by their unscrupulous daughter - in - laws and her parents is not harsh, saying this does not come under their ambit?



WILL THE NCW ANSWER?



And what realities they are talking of, why don’t they come out in public if they are so astute, devout and sincere?



with regard to your queries you are hereby informed that

1. that NCW does not send innocent mothers and sisters on the basis of an unverified complaint to jails we dont have such power in the first place

2. that the NCW does offer support to women in distress which may also include sisters and mothers and just daughter in laws therefore your presumptions on NCW is factually misleading

3. we do not fudge statistics the staistics are manintained by NCRB and not by NCW

4. ncw has not protected the rights of adulterous women i do not know from where you have gathered such information please do not beleive in media reports

5. we have not ever turned away old mothers etc any women requiring help is provided be it a mother sister or daufghter in law any one requiring assitance can approach us

6. we do not distinguish or categorise in fact you would be surprised to note that the NCW recommendations on implementation of Dowry related acts is that first and foremost resort to counselling and mediation with intention to save the marriage and family and only where a prima facie case exists then the legal recourse is to be taken to

any more queries ???

yogesh mehta

law officer

1) Then why has the NCW not taken any action for the 1, 20, 000 women arrested from 2004 -2007 on a mere FIR? Does NCW consider it right? Does it not consider it should make a move to protect those mothers and sisters who are harassed by police before being tried or convicted? Just answer Yes or NO.



2) Can NCW give me the statistics of the number of women as mothers and sisters it has helped vis - a vis the number of daughter - in - laws it has helped? Just answer Yes or NO. Does NCW maintain such categorized information. Just answer Yes or NO. If not reasons.



3) If you do not fudge statistics, then how did NCW made a claim that 70 % women are denied maintenance on adultery grounds and later when asked to publish source data for it, categorically denied having such information. News link. Do you consider this as fudging of statistics. Just answer Yes or NO. NCW Supporting Adultery. See Link1



4) It is the same media reports based on which you keep shouting on violence on women. And now that I have official email from NCW telling me not to believe media reports. Let the media also know about it. If NCW does not protect the rights of adulterous women by making propositions to remove the adultery clause in maintenance. Do you think this is not supporting adulterous women. Just answer Yes or NO.



5) I would like you to provide me details to convince me how many cases have you have resolved with mediation and how many women other than wives have been genuinely helped by NCW.



PS: We, at Save Indian Family Foundation do not consider the advice to file a case as genuine help as it does not help either. So answer keeping this note in mind.



1) It has been brought to NCW’s notice several times thro’ media. And now also I am bringing it to your notice. What can you do for them? Or better what can you do to prevent such mishaps in future?



2) So categorically NCW cannot substantiate its claim of having supported mothers and sisters?



3) Some cases?? How many judgments do you have? The article makes no mention of that. And when NCW was sent an RTI application for data supporting the claim that in 70 % of cases, women are denied maintenance for adultery why did the NCW reply that it does not maintain such information. If the NCW does not maintain such information, why was it published in Media and if the information was not given by NCW why has NCW not taken action against the tabloid for printing information without approval. This means NCW has got the information published and then later denied having source of that information. Do you consider its ethical on part of NCW to behave in such a manner. I want an answer in YES or NO.



4) “NCW also sought another significant amendment to Section 125, saying that said adultery should no longer be a ground for denying maintenance to a woman. ”



This is from the article. Still you say NCW has not made such a claim and repeat it as well? Are you not writing white lies?? At least make some background research before writing an email. You are being watched by 15, 000 members. And on a discussion note, I would like to know why does NCW consider adultery should be made a civil offense? Adultery in a relationship tantamount to breach of trust. What makes NCW think per se that it is a civil offense and why should a woman be provided maintenance who has walked out of the relationship.



5) Read my point number 5 then revert back. I have asked for some information.



6) Oh sure I will, you do not worry about that.

Recognition of women’s rights on Women’s Rights Equality Day August 26, 2008

On the occasion of Women’s Rights Equality Day on 25th August, we would like you to note the harassment and arrests of 1,15,645 women in India in last 4 years under dowry laws (section 498a) without trial or any investigation. This is the worst kind of shameful atrocities committed on women by a nation whose president herself is a woman. Thousands of women are dragged to police stations, harassed, threatened, blackmailed and finally arrested every month. The Prime Minister Manmohan Singh must intervene immediately to stop these atrocities on women as the other concerned ministers have failed to address this serious issue.

It is ironic that women are the worst victims of the misuse of dowry laws and all these women are considered “guilty till proven innocent”, which is against the cardinal principles of natural justice. Arrested women include elderly women as old as 92 years to pregnant women to minor girl child going to schools. Is this women’s empowerment?

Hearing our vociferous outrage through protests all over India, Renuka Choudhary, Minister for Women and Children of India invited our representations for discussions on June 25th 2008. We hoped that some common sense will prevail and the arrests will end. All the discussions between our representatives and Renuka Choudhary failed as the minister refused to give any commitments towards stopping these atrocities on innocent women.

It is a national shame that so many women are arrested by laws which are meant to protect women. It is like the fence eating the crop. It’s a pity to note that this destruction of families is happening under the patronage of the Indian Legal System in the barb and paradoxical veil of “Women Empowerment and Protection”.

Although drafted with the sanest of intentions; to provide women with security in a marriage, of late, due to the large number of false cases making their way to courts, the protector’s shield has become the assassin’s weapon. The women NGOs also, who are supposed to be working as watchdogs, have turned into bloodhounds by discriminating between women related to husbands and wives and failing to recognize, empathize and redress the grievances of those fateful mothers and sisters who have been through the ordeal of seeing their son and brother suffering at the hands of an unjust and almost defunct legal system.

Save Indian Family Foundation, an international network of individuals and NGOs, is working for promotion of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, makes a pleading before your Excellency/good office on behalf of the bereaved and beleaguered mothers and sisters, victimized under false allegations of dowry harassment by their daughters –in – law and their advisors/parents, to kindly look into this matter. One complaint from the daughter –in – law lands the whole family including ailing senior citizens, minor children, as well as pregnant women behind bars and ruins their life in a whiff of a moment. All this happens without investigation and in most of the cases, hefty ransoms are demanded to settle the case.

As per National Crime Records Bureau, in the last 4 years, (2004 – 2007), 1, 15, 645 innocent women have been arrested without investigation / trial under 498A cases.

1) Is this women empowerment- that on an unverified complaint of one woman, three women are imprisoned (on an average) and deemed “Guilty until proven innocent”?

2) Umpteen numbers of cases have been found where the girls’ side, filing such complaints were found to be hiding vital facts about the girl and they in fact file these cases when the hidden facts(affairs, diseases, unnatural tendencies and preferences, etc.) are exposed. Has 498A been designed to seek revenge from and harass husband’s family legally?

3) Is the pain of a mother / sister less when she loses a son / brother than when she loses a daughter / sister?

4) As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 483 and 55, 452 married men, respectively, have committed suicide as opposed to 28, 188 and 29, 869 married women. But yet there is no law to protect our brothers and sons. Why?

5) According to a report by Center for Social Research, there is only 2 % conviction in 498a cases, which means the law is misused to the tune of 98 % and yet it has not been scrapped. This clearly shows the inaction of the government and the apathy meted out to men and their family members, be it a man or a woman in India.

Today on Women’s Rights Equality Day we demand that,

1) Minister of Women and Child Development, Renuka Choudhary should resign having failed miserably in protecting the 1, 15, 645 women arrested without trial / investigation in cases under Section 498A IPC and Jayaprada be made the minister for Women and Child Development.

2) Mothers and sisters of men too are given equal status and their grievances as women are also heard and redressed by State Women Commissions as well as National Commission for Women and the Women and Child Development Ministry.

3) We demand that all cases registered under 498A be properly investigated by a police officer of the level of DCP before making any arrests or registering any complaint the police has written permission from the DCP- in compliance with 1994 Supreme Court Judgment 1994 AIR 1349 SCC (4) 260 Joginder Kumar vs. UOI. It is to be understood that 498a is a serious criminal offense and registering a criminal offense against any person without investigation can lead to serious degradation of the person’s social reputation and irreparable damage to life and career, apart from unfathomable human rights violation and wastage of governmental resources and hence public’s money.

4) Such acts need strong condemnation and the perpetrators of false cases need to be severely punished as they are maligning the system and blocking the path of justice for genuine victims. The State should initiate prosecution suo motu against those found to be misusing laws affecting families and filing false cases under Dowry Harassment laws and Domestic Violence just to realize their personal vendetta.

5) The words man / woman be replaced by person and the words Husband / wife be replaced by spouse to make the laws gender neutral.

6) Our brothers and sons should also get a chance to redress their woes of Domestic Violence by allowing them to make complaints under Domestic Violence Act 2005 amending it to make it gender neutral.

Gender Equality cannot come by way of Gender Discrimination and stereotyped, anachronous and generalised assumptions, which can only help to undermine the spirit and definition of any law. Taking the statements of the girl’s side as “Gospel Truth” reflects sheer lack of jurisprudence and grave inefficiency in implementation of laws on the government’s part, which needs to be rectified with immediate effect so that innocent law abiding citizens do not become a victim of the system made to protect them.

Place: Bangalore Thanking You

Date: 25 August 2008

(Save Indian Family Foundation)



www.saveindianfamily.org
www.savefamily.org
9342853272
9845143724

Yes I demanded dowry, but never got it

All the characters referred to below are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Dowry? A sensational word, isn’t it? Evokes strong emotions for the ‘married woman’. Unlawful demands from the husband’s side to the bride’s side like a scooter, car, fridge, cash, jewels, etc. etc. Seems like a scene straight from a social cinema, depicting the ‘married woman’ as a liability. This is what the media has always represented dowry and dowry seeking money mongers as, and so this is what the society has come to know of it.

But the definition of dowry is far wider than that entailed above as put in Indian Penal Code Section 498A as any ‘unlawful demand’ made by husband and / or his relatives. But what is ‘unlawful’ has not been described. It has been left to anyone’s imagination and depends on the intensity of the ‘married woman’s’ tears at time of the complaint.

The other day I happened to meet Jignesh, who has been accused under section 498A for allegedly making ‘unlawful demand’ to his wife. So I happened to chat with him as to what was the need to make any ‘unlawful demand’ from his wife when he himself earned a handsome salary working with an MNC at a prestigious position? Excerpts of my chat with him,

Me: “Well sad to know that you are facing criminal charges, but I fail to understand that when you are yourself so well placed, what made you demand?”

Jignesh: “So you seem to have decided the verdict yourself as is evident from your question.”

Me: “Hey man, I did not mean that.”

Jignesh: “It’s OK, am used to it, but it is a truth that I demanded dowry from her. You heard it right, Yes I demanded dowry but never got it.”

Me: “I see. Do you mind sharing your demands?”

Jignesh: “Not at all. I demanded our cultural values from her; I demanded as much respect from her for my parents, as I have for her parents. I demanded support from her to build my family. I demanded a feeling of oneness with contemporaries and love for the young ones in our family. I demanded restraint and patience to understand each other to build a stronger familial foundation. I demanded an anticipated expectation to be as much loyal and faithful to me as I am to her. Since she and her parents, especially her mom did not have all these, they thought these demands were ‘unlawful ‘, and filed a case on me and my innocent family under Section 498A IPC.”

Me: “I see. Hats off to you and sorry once again for that question, it was just framed badly, not intended that way.”

Jignesh: “That is fine; this is the pill society gives to victims of 498A, the Anti – dowry law. But I have no qualms in saying that I demanded dowry, for if what I demanded amounts to dowry in today’s era of Woman Protection and Woman Empowerment, then so be it. After all times are changing. Definitions of 1960 cannot work today.”

Save the Society

1 in 6 persons in Delhi is Likely to face 498a (Dowry) Law soon, which is not simple as Law is arrest without investigations, non Bailable.

Ministry of Women and child development is currently in the process of talking to organizations fighting to stop misuse of Dowry and other women protection Laws. Some of these groups are demanding that Section 498a, Indian Penal Code (Dowry Law) should be applicable only to husbands and not to his relatives; also it should be made non - cognizable so that arrests are made only after investigations. Recently Gender Human Rights Society Regd. was called on 1st Aug, and on 18th Aug MASI (Mothers and sisters Initiative Regd.) a women organization fighting for preventing misuse of women protection Laws is invited.

Some foreign (UNAID) funded Women organizations are writing to ministry that ministry should not talk to men organizations for reasons best known to them. They do not want a balanced family system to exist in India as it is the greatest impediment to their impeachment policies aimed at large scale destruction of Indian society and culture. Whereas non funded organizations like Gender Human Rights society Regd. strongly say the demand that ministry should not talk to men is absurd, and a foreign trick to harm India. Marriage is a social institution run by both men and women and hence the views of both the sides need to be taken into due consideration.

With 1 in 6 persons in Delhi alone likely to face 498a (Dowry LAW) complaint, the arrest without investigation, non Bailable can lead to mass misuse of law and legal terrorism unleashed on them. A significant population is already suffering, and all over India non funded organizations are being formed to amend this Law as the government has turned its blind eye and deaf ear to the sufferings of lacs of people suffering from misuse of dowry related and other women protection laws. About 86 % of women in Delhi Tihar Jail are due to Dowry Law, so this Law is harming everyone including women.

Also Domestic Violence Act, 2005 should be reviewed, the organizations are asking. They say DV law in effect from Oct 2006 is totally one sided, and can be used to throw men, of joint family, out of their own houses. Even Supreme Court has said that DV Law is loosely drafted, and including houses of Relatives of husbands in the DV Law can lead to social chaos. A renowned Delhi High court Judge in his detailed judgment on DV Law has said this new Law has a perfect recipe for social disaster.

Sandeep Bhartia, president of Gender Human Rights Society (Regd.) says there are 40 new Law proposals for women in pipeline under influence from foreign countries funding radical and one sided women organizations. In order to prevent a fatherless society in creation and reinstate gender harmony, these new Law proposals should involve Judges also as Judges are difficult to be influenced by foreign funding. Also they have given written requests to the ministries to involve organizations fighting for preventing misuse of women protection laws in the Law drafting process by the ministry.

A third of children in some countries are already being harmed by fatherless families, let’s not let that happen in India. let’s stop well funded radical feminists by involving neutral organizations and Judges in the Law drafting process by the WCD ministry.

Looks like the war between well funded Radical Feminists organizations and others non funded organizations is just beginning, we should tread this path carefully for the betterment of society .

Retrospective Clause in DV - Strategy

Well guys the retrospectiveness of DV has been a controversial topic of late. And the law being silent about it, the judiciary uses it to its own whims and fancies most of the times which are biased against men. Alleged acts of violence committed prior to 26th Oct 2006, the day the devilish DV law came in effect, are made part of petition and cases are getting registered.

But retrospectiveness in law is a serious issue and allowing retrospective matters in admittance of cases can have serious implications. As technological advances follows Murphy’s rule, newer dangers are also getting exposed and newer legal provisions can also come into effect. What was legal now can be illegal later, so do we book all those persons who committed a hitherto legal, but hence illegal action deemed as offense? Rationally and logically, No.

Coming back to DV, prior to it being enacted, calling names to wives was not an offense and some husband might have called his wife with some name, either out of love and affection or in a fit of anger, which even the wife must have done. But since DV outlines it as an offense only for the husband, allowing retrospective clause in DV law, all wives can book their husbands under DV and 100 % marriages will break. So retrospective clause is not healthy from a social and a futuristic standpoint of legal consideration.

Again arguing that DV does not attract penal consequences and the same arise only when protection order is violated and that offense will not be retrospective, then it must be remembered that in first place, case should not have registered, so no protection order should have been passed. So no possibility of commission of offense if retrospective clause is not defined for DV. But since the court has allowed it, it is also an equal party to the offense and should share the penalty!!! What an absurdity?

http://judis.nic.in/chennai/qrydisp.asp?tfnm=13665

Hence taking a cue from the above judgment and using the aforesaid logic, we can develop a strong petition to challenge retrospectiveness of DV and challenge any such summons under 397 CrPC and bring the case to a halt.

Anti, Pro and Neutral

On a barefoot analysis, we get three kinds of people to deal with,

1) Anti people, who are staunch male haters and always portray women as victims aka the Feminists,

2) The pro people who understand the intentions of feminists and blatantly oppose them, and are mostly feminists hit by feminism and converted to the other extreme of the bandwidth aka the SIFFIANS, and

3) The neutral people who mostly live in a dream world designed by the anti ones and continue to believe women are victims.

We need to have different techniques to deal with all the three categories. Feminist often feign ignorance and bliss about women being perpetrators of violence and at the back side keep on spreading the poison in the society with the help of the unfortunate power lobby that they enjoy. When confronted with the poisoning it is again the same old technique they apply, put allegations on the confronter and allow him to defend.

We have to very careful in that. Not to fall into the allegations trap and keep bashing them till they are finished or converted. Stronger souls will have to be finished, weaker ones we can convert to our side and strengthen ourselves in both the scenarios.

Neutral people are also anti per se as they mostly believe what feminists say and even if they seem somewhat convinced when we give the statistics to them, they have the ever hanging historical background, that girls were always harassed and subdued in the past and blah blah blah; again the credit goes to feminists for the same.

For neutral people we will need data not only to show them the other side, harassed men, but also how women can be harmful and real challenge is converting the neutral people. The day we can reach out effortlessly to the neutral people and make them pros, we will have the mass with us. Today as the mass is not with us, only those getting converted to pros with a stroke of misfortune coming to us, a silent wish is for the misuse to increase so that we can gather amass.

But morally and ethically this technique should be despised as it takes to break an entire family to get one pro. Bad deal I would say. Rather having gained 4 years of experience we should now target to methods of converting neutral to pros and finishing the anti ones.

Recognition of women’s rights on Women’s Rights Equality Day August 26, 2008

To,

<>

Sub: Recognition of women’s rights on Women’s Rights Equality Day August 26, 2008

Respected Sir / Madam,

On the occasion of Women’s Rights Equality Day we would like to draw your attention towards a topic gaining momentum in all strata, be it the media, society, or the legislative or executive environment - the ‘Wide and Rampant misuse of Women Protection Laws vide section 498A Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860), Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 leading to mass destruction of the social fabric and familial system of India. It’s a pity to note that this destruction of families is happening under the patronage of the Indian Legal System in the barb and paradoxical veil of “Women Empowerment and Protection”.

Although drafted with the sanest of intentions; to provide women with security in a marriage, of late, due to the large number of false cases making their way to courts, the protector’s shield has become the assassin’s weapon. The women NGOs also, who are supposed to be working as watchdogs, have turned into bloodhounds by discriminating between women related to husbands and wives and failing to recognize, empathize and redress the grievances of those fateful mothers and sisters who have been through the ordeal of seeing their son and brother suffering at the hands of an unjust and almost defunct legal system.

Save Indian Family Foundation, an international network of individuals and NGOs, is working for promotion of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, makes a pleading before your Excellency/good office on behalf of the bereaved and beleaguered mothers and sisters, victimized under false allegations of dowry harassment by their daughters –in – law and their advisors/parents, to kindly look into this matter. One complaint from the daughter –in – law lands the whole family including ailing senior citizens, minor children, as well as pregnant women behind bars and ruins their life in a whiff of a moment. All this happens without investigation and in most of the cases, hefty ransoms are demanded to settle the case.

As per National Crime Records Bureau, in the last 4 years, (2004 – 2007), 1, 20, 645 innocent women have been arrested without investigation / trial under 498A cases.

1) Is this women empowerment- that on an unverified complaint of one woman, three women are imprisoned (on an average) and deemed “Guilty until proven innocent”?

2) Umpteen numbers of cases have been found where the girls’ side, filing such complaints were found to be hiding vital facts about the girl and they in fact file these cases when the hidden facts(affairs, diseases, unnatural tendencies and preferences, etc.) are exposed. Has 498A been designed to seek revenge from and harass husband’s family legally?

3) Is the pain of a mother / sister less when she loses a son / brother than when she loses a daughter / sister?

4) As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 483 and 55, 452 married men, respectively, have committed suicide as opposed to 28, 188 and 29, 869 married women. But yet there is no law to protect our brothers and sons. Why?

5) According to a report by Center for Social Research, there is only 2 % conviction in 498a cases, which means the law is misused to the tune of 98 % and yet it has not been scrapped. This clearly shows the inaction of the government and the apathy meted out to men and their family members, be it a man or a woman in India.

Today on Women’s Rights Equality Day we demand that,

1) Mothers and sisters of men too are given equal status and their grievances as women are also heard and redressed by State Women Commissions as well as National Commission for Women and the Women and Child Development Ministry.

2) We demand that all cases registered under 498A be properly investigated by a police officer of the level of DCP before making any arrests or registering any complaint the police has written permission from the DCP- in compliance with 1994 Supreme Court Judgment 1994 AIR 1349 SCC (4) 260 Joginder Kumar vs. UOI. It is to be understood that 498a is a serious criminal offense and registering a criminal offense against any person without investigation can lead to serious degradation of the person’s social reputation and irreparable damage to life and career, apart from unfathomable human rights violation and wastage of governmental resources and hence public’s money.

3) Such acts need strong condemnation and the perpetrators of false cases need to be severely punished as they are maligning the system and blocking the path of justice for genuine victims. The State should initiate prosecution suo motu against those found to be misusing laws affecting families.

Gender Equality cannot come by way of Gender Discrimination and stereotyped, anachronous and generalised assumptions, which can only help to undermine the spirit and definition of any law. Taking the statements of the girl’s side as “Gospel Truth” reflects sheer lack of jurisprudence and grave inefficiency in implementation of laws on the government’s part, which needs to be rectified with immediate effect.

Women Protection vs. Women Empowerment

Alimony in divorces is a serious issue these days. Huge alimonies have stripped men of their finances in the West and this trend is slowly catching in India as well with the growing number of divorces. Recent studies in Mumbai showed that 40 % of marriages end in divorce. In Delhi, every day on an average 10 divorce cases are filed. And in majority of these cases men are ordered to pay alimony as they say alimony in divorce is a positive step towards “Women Empowerment” by making them financially independent. But alimony as a provision in divorce is despicable and subject to serious condemnation for many reasons underlined here,

1) Arranged Marriage in India is a communal decision and takes place as a result of the involvement of society elders, common friends and the parents of both the boy and the girl. Hence when the relation fails to work and ends in a divorce, the husband should not be the only one paying.

2) If it is a love marriage then both the adults are equally responsible and the man should not be the only one paying the price.

3) Alimony is the biggest motivator for women to file a divorce and stop making attempts to save the marriage. Also parents of girls, when they see the marriage is not working, encourage their daughters to move towards divorce in lieu of hefty alimony.

4) Due to the overwhelming and impending burden of alimony, married men in India continue to suffer in a bad marriage and refrain from buying a costly piece of paper called, ‘Divorce’ which results in higher stress levels for men and also higher suicide rates among Indian married men.

In line with the feminism that created waves in the 70s in the West, harsh, lopsided and severely anti – male laws were drafted in India in the name of Women Protection. And at the same time alimony was encouraged in the name of Women Empowerment. Today we have six laws quintessentially achieving the same objective of Women Protection and Women Empowerment in tandem.

But the basic ideology where the law makers, the society living with those laws and the media sleeping in deep slumber, not to protest against the loopholes in the laws and their implementation, fluttered is that, Protection and Empowerment can never go hand in hand. We don’t need to protect an empowered lot, hence when alimony was already provided for Women Empowerment, Women Protection was a redundancy. And if that was not the case then alimony as a means to Empower Women has failed miserably and has rather proved as a “Marriage Breaker” as reflected in a recent statement by renowned Supreme Court justice Arijit Pasayath that the Hindu Marriage Act has broken more families than joining them.

The statements seems more than apt. Though Hindu Marriage Act has provisions for saving as well breaking marriage, the one breaking marriage is more famous i.e. divorce. The section for saving marriage, Section 9 – Restitution of Conjugal Rights is a dead letter section of the Hindu Marriage Act which quintessentially trivializes the Indian culture of saving marriage, but sadly enough it is not only a lesser known section, it is non – executable as well, which means the court cannot enforce an order passed in this section.

Due to such reasons divorces are increasing day by day and the institution of marriage is slowly dying out. The government which barely manages to gather oxygen enough to survive in wake of recent turmoil and power tussle at the center has little / no time to look into this matter, impending over the society as a social catastrophe. The society, whose very existence is subject to strict proof with everyone in the society considering everyone else other than oneself as the society, with its paradoxical veil of technological advancement conveniently, chooses to ignore the victims of a bad marriage. The media, whose hunger for sensationalism is self – feeding, considers only the women as humans, raising its voice for women at every sneeze and whiff, is simply catalyzing a gender divide in the society and nothing else.

In view of the all the above contentions and discussions, yet it remains a question, whether Empowerment and Protection can go hand in hand? Let the stalwarts answer this.

Save Petrol, Save Money, Contain Inflation

Nice Logic - It May work!! Save petrol, Save money!!



A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goes to the Kirana store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen. Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he notices that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys groceries, eggs are Rs. 22 a dozen.

When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says, "The price has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly". This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day. He checked around for a better price and all the distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms. The small egg farms have been driven out of business. The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to distributors. With no competition, they can set the price as they see fit. The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery stores. And on and on and on.

As the man kept buying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the big egg trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there. He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling 100,000 dozen eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price of eggs.

Then week before Diwali the price of eggs shot up to Rs. 40 a dozen. Again he asked the grocery owner why and was told, "Cakes and baking for the holiday". The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of baking going on and more eggs will be used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up. Expect the same thing at Christmas and other times when family cooking, baking, etc. happen. This pattern continues until the price of eggs is Rs. 60 a dozen. The man says, " There must be something we can do about the price of eggs".

He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decide to stop buying eggs. This didn't work because everyone needed eggs.

Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need. He ate 2 eggs a day. On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy two eggs. Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.

The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many eggs in his cooler. He told the distributor that he didn't need any eggs.
Maybe wouldn't need any all week.

The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse. He told the huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs would not need any for at least two weeks.

At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs. To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they could buy the eggs at a lower price.

The distributor said, " I don't have the room for the %$&^*&% eggs even if they were free". The distributor told the grocery store owner that he would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buying
again.

The grocery store owner said, "I don't have room for more eggs. The customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time. Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to the original price, the customers
would start buying by the dozen again".

The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but the egg farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, those chickens just kept on laying. Finally, the egg farmers lowered the
price of their eggs. But only a few paisa.

The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time. They said, "when the price of eggs gets down to where it was before, we will start buying by the dozen."

Slowly the price of eggs started dropping. The distributors had to slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg farmers.

The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors wouldn't buy at a higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had full warehouses and wouldn't need eggs for quite a while. And those chickens kept on laying. Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were throwing away eggs they couldn't sell.

The distributors started buying again because the eggs were priced to where the stores could afford to sell them at the lower price. And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.

Now, transpose this analogy to the gasoline industry.

What if everyone only bought Rs 200.00 worth of Petrol each time they pulled to the pump? The dealer's tanks would stay semi full all the time. The dealers wouldn't have room for the gas coming from the huge tanks. The tank farms wouldn't have room for the petrol coming from the refining plants. And the refining plants wouldn't have room for the oil being off loaded from the huge tankers coming from the oil fiends.

Just Rs 200.00 each time you buy gas. Don't fill up the tank of your car. You may have to stop for gas twice a week, but the price should come down.

Think about it.


Also, don't buy anything else at the fuel station; don't give them any more of your hard earned money than what you spend on gas, until the prices come down..."

..just think of this concept for a while.

.................please pass this concept around....reaching out to
the masses ...the world .....

Only the wearer knows, where the shoe pinches

As the old saying goes, “Only the wearer knows, where the shoe pinches”, it fairly beautifully applies to the general attitude of people living in today’s society as well. The current society is plagued with innumerable problems ranging from lackluster attitude of civic authorities, to corrupt government officials to declining mental peace to eroding familial values to spreading terror in the society. But is anyone listening, is anyone bothered, does anybody have any time to devote to one of the problem areas that the society is facing and do something to at least create an awareness for it, if not make an attempt to solve it.
Everyone expects the garbage to be cleaned up by someone else conveniently ignoring certain basic facts that each one of us is, in some way or the other, responsible for the garbage. The society finds a very easy escape route of any problem that comes. There are basically three things that everyone in the society, in general, does to address a problem,
1) Ignore the problem,
2) Let the problem happen till a maxima is reached, and
3) Think that this problem is not going to hit me.
Unfortunately all the three approaches act as a positive catalyst in nourishing the monster that loves to devour the succor in the society. Pigmenting the core of problems with a plastic smile allows it to grow in isolation, assume an incurable form and steal nutrition from the same society that protects it like a parasite residing in a host.
Only those people are seen doing something to create awareness in the society, the ones who are badly smitten by some or the other problem in the society and even there the ratio of the total number of suffering people and those actually working to eradicate it maddeningly high. Only when the cornering and suffering grows beyond all tolerable levels within reasonable limits, do some people come forward to take the plunge into the dumping ground called ‘Society’ to cleanse it. Even then a majority of people think of suicide as a solution to end their problems.
One such reflection of incidences can be found in the alarmingly high number of suicides by married men of late. It is a well – known and an established fact that in any marital dispute the sentimental balance of the law, law – makers and law – executioners lies with the female partner as opposed to the male partner. With increasing number of false dowry harassment and domestic violence coming to forth and the number of divorces also rising alarmingly, it is no wonder that each year 56, 000 married men are committing suicides as opposed to 27, 000 married women.
The situation being so pathetic and despicable, yet do we see anyone doing anything about it. No. Even those who are affected by it want a quick fix and want others to do something about it. And those who are not affected by it have at most a few words of sympathy for them and nothing else. Save Indian Family Foundation, the largest and the only NGO in India, fighting for ‘Gender Equity’ and ‘Family Harmony’ receives over 200 distress calls from battered and shattered men all over India over its various help lines. But how many of them are ready to volunteer for a fight to eradicate this social evil of “Misuse of Women Protection Laws”. A discouragingly small number of a few hundreds.
More recently we had a spate of unfortunate and merciless terror attacks in the form of 8 low intensity serial blasts in Bangalore and 19 high intensity ones in Ahmadabad and 2 futile attempts in Surat. Analysis puts it as a total failure on part of the intelligence and surveillance agencies compounded with a condemnable low preparedness of the state governments in dealing with such situations. And these blasts are not something new. We had quite a number of them in the last few years be it Lucknow, Delhi or Malegaon. And yet such a big intelligence lapse!
But who is bothered? Everyone thinks as long as we are safe, nothing needs to be done. And truly no one will do anything either. People will discuss for a few days (perhaps I hope so, or maybe I am over – optimistic), media channels will run the stories for a few days, electronic and print media shall cover the event till they get something more sensational and then life will carry on as usual.
Even those terrorists who do this, know very well, that nothing is gonna happen and this fact is the largest confidence – booster for them. So this question goes to the society that be it the case of any problem, does it still want to wait till the lightning strikes it or is it ready to sensitize itself to sense over – impending social catastrophes and take steps to shatter its impact? Only the wearer should not know the pinch.

Marriage - The other side of the coin

Marital problems have started contributing to stress in a very big way. Day in and day out we hear people succumbing to marital problems with the growing numbers of suicides among married people especially males. As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 000 and 56, 000 married men committed suicide respectively. And the same years noted a splurge in the number of dowry harassment cases filed as reflected in the number of such cases filed – 58319 and 63128. Coupled with that, if a study conducted by Center for Social Research on the conviction rate of such cases is anything to go by, it shockingly reveals that there is only 2 % conviction in such cases. This means 98 % of such cases are false, and thus a false claim of dowry harassment was made.

Not only that, based on that false statement, the husband and his entire family was arrested, put behind bars, made to cough out huge amounts to get a bail and had no choice but to fight a legal battle in an otherwise defunct and dead judicial outreach and was also subjected to malicious prosecution. For the charge of dowry harassment being false, the concocted stories of alleged torture would also bear no ground. Having thus said, section 498A IPC, being heavily misused has actually turned out into an assassin’s weapon rather a protector’s shield as rightly pointed out by the Honorable Supreme Court of India. Instead of making families, it is breaking families, for any woman who has falsely implicated her husband and in – laws in a false criminal case has lost their trust and the marriage has been dead for all practical purposes.

A recent study in Mumbai claimed 40 % of marriages registered in Mumbai end in a divorce. And most of such cases involve filing of a false dowry case in order to get a quick divorce with a hefty alimony. Unscrupulous girls, supported by ill – minded parents, especially mother, pampered by a biased legal system who is highly de – sensitized to husbands (read married men) have found this as a very easy way to earn tax – free money. And to add to that all of those so called marriages have been performed on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc.

When marriages could last so strongly for ages down the memory lane, and those too were conducted on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc., what has changed so drastically in recent times that marriages have become a source of business opportunity for women and a source of ignominy and stress for men? Save Indian Family Foundation, the single largest NGO committed to the cause of spreading the message of Gender Equity and Family Harmony in addition to providing free legal, moral and psychological support to the victims of false dowry harassment and Domestic Violence cases, receives on an average of 200 calls a week over its various help lines spread all over India and abroad as well from battered and harassed men who are either victims of the misuse of these laws or are subjected to Domestic Violence at the hands of their wives.

Have we come of the time to consult a lawyer rather than a pundit or a purohit to decide a marital knot? Especially a male does need to do so before tying the knot. For if the marriage does not work (which is quite possible in today’s dynamic socio – economic scenario), he will have to bear the brunt of the fallacy. A false case lodged with the help of the corrupt police force, sleeping judiciary and mercenary lawyers robs the man of his health, wealth, life, career and happiness. Even with a low conviction rate, the mental trauma that the man and his family including his mother and sisters and his father and other relatives undergo cannot be described in words and is by no means less than actual conviction.

But does life end there? Is the end of marriage, the end of life? Perhaps yes, but probably no. Looking at the alarmingly high and surprisingly suppressed suicide statistics of married males as mentioned in the first paragraph, it is probably true that for married males, end of marriage is end of life. But seeing the spirits of a few thousand volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation, reality shifts. Here people have not only gathered strength to fight against the system and stride against the tide, but have also developed high amount of positivity in their life and learned to remain happy despite a despicable and pathetic married life.

Marriage can definitely be the first step towards family foundation but cannot substitute life itself. Life is too big and diverse and there are many things to be done in life than to waste it in crying over the split milk called a bad marriage. Like the volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation has taken cudgels against not only the biased laws and their faulty implementation but also against the mindset that a woman will not break away from a marriage without justifiable reason. This is a bitter truth which the society needs to know, imbibe and live with it, till the time it refuses to change itself.

Open letter to the Indian Embassy

I would like to introduce myself as a member of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), an NGO in India, dedicated to the cause of spreading the message of Gender Equality, Family Harmony in India, in addition to giving free legal, moral and psychological advice to people who are caught on the wrong side of marital laws related to complaints of dowry harassment and Domestic Violence.

When I say, “to be caught on the wrong side” what I mean is to highlight the practice of implicating innocents falsely under these legal provisions and then harassing them, terrorizing them to make them accede to illegal demands.

IPC 498A The most draconian law highlights the major marketable features of this law. In short, under this law, any married woman can get her husband and in-laws behind bars at a mere complaint. No investigation is done in such cases and the police and the authorities behave in a totally one - sided manner to extort as much money as possible from innocent law abiding citizens.

As per a study conducted by the Center for Social Research there is only 2 % conviction in such cases and as such 98 % cases are false and are settled out of court after gross financial extortion of men and their families in the process taking advangtage of a defunct legal system and a corrupt executive environment.

Yet such draconian laws are existing and terrorizing citizens to the point of driving them to suicides. The suicide statistics for married men in the year 2005 and 2006 stand at 52, 000 and 56, 000 respectively whereas the same for married women stand at 26, 000 and 28, 000 respectively. More than double the number of men are committing suicides being exasperrated with a biased society and government.

This despite being the fact that men pay 82 % of taxes in India. But still they are yet to get a National Commission for Men and Men’s Welfare Ministry to redress their concerns. Men in India have no support system, no helpline to fall back upon in times of distress.

International studies world over have proved that both men and women have equal probability to be both victims and perpetrators of Domestic Violence, but still the Domestic Violence Act 2005, in India does not allow men to be complainants or women to be respondents. Only women can make a complaint and that too only against a man. How can such a stupidly drafted law be used to curb violence? It will only act as a catalyst for more violence to occur.

I do not expect any results out of this long email. My only intention is to create awareness about this grave miscarriage of justice going on in the name of WOMEN EMPOWERMENT in the country.

The Conveneient Male Victim Theory

Dr. Rajesh Talwar finally gets a bail and will soon be acquitted as well since the police have failed to produce / gather any motive for the murder let alone any evidence against him. Over a month of harassment of a father who lost his daughter and that too police interrogation. Will the police answer for the reason of apprehending Dr. Rajesh for the murder without doing proper homework and just succumbing to outblown media trials.

Sensation crazy and TRP hungry media channels were flashing the case like some detective murder story and put so much pressure on the authorities that they caught the father as per the “Convenient Male Victim Theory” and harassed him for so many days without reason without even allowing him to sink in the fact that his beloved daughter is no more and has been murdered at a tender age of 14.

After he was released on bail, the media was happy celebrating, forgetting the fact that it was the same media whose pressure had led the father to being harassed beyond limits and was also made to take the blame of his daughter’s murder upon him. He was projected as a villain in the media ab initio and the media was projecting him in a very bad light even before either the motive of the murder was established or any evidence found against him, the media had already reconstructed the event – folding and flashed it across.

This was highly demeaning of national media acting in a highly immature manner just to gather publicity and riding on its convenient male victim theory. When no clear motive / evidence were available, catch hold of the nearest male relative of the murdered and frame a story to explain their conclusions. Now the media is happily flashing the bail news of Dr. Rajesh, and also showing the three actual accused, what accountability it will take to justify the harassment Dr. Talwar underwent.

If Dr. Talwar had committed the crime, why would he do it in his own house staying inside? Everyone ignored this simple question and happily believed the father to be the murderer of his own daughter. For how long will the males in society in general, and Indian society in particular, continue to live in suspicion? Suspicion of committing a crime, suspicion of having done something gravely wrong for being subjected to injustice, suspicion of breaking a relationship.

Do the society, the media and the government consider males as human beings having some basic rights? Every year 80, 000 males are committing suicide as per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, yet males in this country do not have a single helpline to fall back upon in case of a crisis, let alone a National Commission for Men or a Men’s Welfare Ministry to redress their grievances. This dismal state of males continues to exist irrespective of the fact that males contribute to 82 % of the taxes paid in the country.

Who will restore the lost pride, integrity and moments of togetherness with his wife Nupur Talwar when they had lost their child? The media had even finished the trial based on what they seemed to have happened and also showed mock interrogation sessions. Is this some kind of a joke that the media is playing. The media needs to sensitize itself highly in dealing with matters concerned with males. Males are just treated as criminals in the media for no fault of theirs. Aarushi had the Women and Child Development minister Renuka Choudhary speaking for her, but who spoke for Dr. Rajesh? None.

The convenient male victim theory needs to be dropped. In the whole episode, the invisible victim, Hemraj was conveniently forgotten just because he was a male.

Once again the civil society and the government are urged to look into the issues faced by the men of today. How they are being made convenient scapegoats in blind compliance with the Convenient Male Victim Theory? This cornering is leading the society towards an impending catastrophe waiting to happen, the consequences of which will remain unforeseen, untold and perhaps unbearable.

Redefining Dowry Death

Another potshot taken by the National Commission of Women at the social fabric, after the horrendous proposition to include alimony for live – in partners and removal of the adultery clause as a ground to deny maintenance to wives. This time it is related to the issue of dowry deaths. Their suggestion is to include all unnatural causes of death of a married woman within any time frame of married life to be viewed and investigated as a dowry case.

This is a totally uncalled for proposition and a logical rationale fails to understand how a biased assumption can bring down a social evil. Unnatural death “is a category used by coroners and vital statistics specialists for classifying all human deaths not properly describable as death by natural causes. Hence it would include events such as accident, execution, misadventure (being attacked by insects, reptiles, fishes, lions, tigers, bears, stingrays, or other wild animals), adverse outcome of surgery, suicide, terrorism, war.”

Classifying all these deaths as dowry deaths within 7 years of marriage is in itself absurd. To top on it, now a totally mindless amendment to remove the 7 years ceiling is not becoming of National Commission of Women, a body claiming to be the champion of women’s causes. Such propositions only lead to unnecessary bloating of statistics related to crime against women and create aggravated panic in the society for women. No one will want to have a daughter fearing that she might be killed for dowry and this false fear is giving rise to female foeticide and infanticide in the society.

Moreover IPC already has sections to deal with murder, IPC 302, abetment of suicide, IPC 306. There is no need to provide a special section to married women when the same is not available to men. Every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide, but those 56, 000 husband killers are roaming freely in the society. IPC 304B related to dowry deaths cannot be entrusted to be generating the correct and dependable statistics of the menace called dowry because the law itself is biased and based on assumption. It assumes all deaths of a married woman within 7 years of marriage as ‘Dowry Death’. Classifying all deaths as dowry deaths is nothing but an attempt by radical organizations like NCW to create fear in the society by blowing out of proportions the statistics related to crime against women as these outblown statistics fetch them money from national and international organizations.

It will be a grave injustice to the husband and his family to book them under dowry harassment charges and put them under legal prosecution when he has just lost his life partner to an accident. Most of the suicides by married women for various reasons are just linked to a single cause of dowry and a bloated picture is presented to the society by the money hungry radical organizations like NCW who fail to recognize the mothers and sisters of men as women.

Is the pain of a mother / sister less when her son / brother dies than when her daughter / sister dies? NCW needs to answer this question. Who is going to give justice to those 56, 000 aggrieved mothers / sisters who lost their son / brother to a torturous wife? Yet the wife is roaming freely in the society. Why no punishment to the wife when on the death of the wife (due to any reason) the husband and his whole family put behind bars on a mere assumption that the death is dowry related.

Why this injustice to men? Do they not have basic human rights? 82 % of taxes are paid by men and yet no their no welfare ministry for them. And to add to that, men are subjected to heavy misuse of stringent legal provisions targeted against them like IPC 304B which deprives them of basic right of being proclaimed innocent until proven guilty as prescribed by Amnesty International, the International Human Rights Organization. There have been instances of men and their relatives prosecuted under 304B (Dowry Death) and the girl has been found living with some other man. Who will account for the harassment that the innocent husband and his relatives went through because of a biased legal provision and a defunct legal system? And the girl is not even punished!!!

It’s high time that radical and gender obsessed women’s organizations stop spreading lies in the society in the name of crime against women and stop breaking families in the name of women empowerment. We, Save Indian Family Foundation, an organization dedicated to the cause of spreading family harmony and awareness about the misuse of dowry related and other marital laws severely condemn the recent amendments proposed by NCW and make the following recommendations to the government.

1) Section 304(B) should not be retained in the law; IPC Section 302 already covers murder and IPC Section 306 covers abetment of suicide, and therefore Section 304(B) is only a duplication of law, which is gender-biased.

2) All cases of murder, including murder for dowry should be dealt with under IPC Section 302.

3) All cases of abetment of suicide, including those allegedly done for dowry, should be dealt with under IPC Section 306.

4) If IPC Section 304(B) is not removed from Indian law, then it should be amended and made applicable to men and women equally. Specifically, the word “husband/wife” should be replaced by the word spouse.

5) Section 304(B) treats the accused as guilty until proven innocent, thus, violating the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which proclaims that “everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty”. The law needs to be amended so that no arrests of any of the accused (man, woman or child) are made without proper investigation and written approval of police officials of the rank of DCP or above.

6) Those who misuse the section for settling personal scores should be heavily penalized because false allegations and prosecution can cause irreparable damage to the accused parties even if they are later declared not guilty.

Males Non - males and females

All the characters in the blog are imaginary and have no resemblance to any person living or dead. Any co – incidence is purely co – incidental.

Kamini is married to Sanjeev keeping in mind his hi – paying job and the fact that his sister Natasha is married, their ancestral property, so post marriage she will be reaping all the benefits and will be able to repay her father’s losses. But things go awry as she finds it difficult to tame Sanjeev and decides to threaten him with a false dowry case to extort money from them in conjunction with her parents.

They set the setting with the local Circle Inspector (henceforth referred to as CI) and decide to teach Sanjeev, his parents and his married sister and her husband, a lesson. Police calls all of them to the police station and harasses them unnecessarily.

CI: “We have received a complaint of dowry harassment against you all by your daughter – in – law Kamini. So we will have to arrest you as per the law.”

Sanjeev: “But this is a false complaint, officer.”

Sanjeev was unable to comprehend the situation, as to why a false allegation has been leveled against him.

CI: “That will be decided by the court, as per law I have to arrest you till your bail happens. But if you listen to what she says, she is ready to take back the complaint.”

Now everyone is clear, that Kamini and her parents are trying to get upper hand in the marriage by fear and terrorizing them misusing the law meant to protect women and the police is hand in gloves with them.

Sanjeev: “But officer, we have evidences to prove them false here itself, there is no need to register a case for this. Give us a chance to present them.”

CI: “So now you are going to teach me legal procedure. We are not supposed to do any investigation. We have to convert the complaint to FIR and book all of you in the dowry harassment case and arrest all of you. Otherwise listen to what your wife says.”

Sanjeev’s mother spoke up now.

Mom: “But officer, my son is innocent and these laws are meant to protect females. How can you arrest us on mere complaint?”

CI: “I don’t know all that. For me the complainant is a female whom I have to protect. The complaint is against a male and other relatives are non – males for me. So I have to arrest all those males and non – males who are harassing this innocent female.”

Kamini’s in – laws try a lot to convince the CI that they are innocent but to no avail. Being innocent they refuse to cough up Kamini’s extortion demand. Thus, the 3 males (Sanjeev, his father and his brother –in – law) and the 2 non – males (his mom and Sister Natasha) are arrested on the female Kamini’s false complaint.

Strange but true. This is what happens in most of the police stations when a complaint of dowry harassment is received. One female wreaks havoc on all and sundry in the family, small children, senior citizens, pregnant sisters and yet the government is turning a blind eye to this Legal Terrorism simply playing it down saying they are doing all this to protect women and the misuse is very low to realize some political vendetta best known to them.

Whom does the WCD consider as women?

To,

Ms. Renuka Chaudhary,

Minister, Government of India,
Ministry of Women and Child Development,
Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,
Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,
New Delhi-110001

Sub: Amendments to CrPC 125 recommended by NCW promote adultery and extortion

Honorable Minister,

We, the members of All India Forgotten Women, are appalled by the recent recommendations forwarded by the National Commission for Women (NCW) to the Ministry of Women and Child Development on the amendments sought in Section 125 of CrPC.

CrPC 125 is a Criminal Section which is biased towards women. Under this section, any legally married woman who cannot sustain life on her own can legally claim maintenance from the husband, while an impoverished husband cannot claim maintenance from his gainfully-employed wife. It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of women who are well educated, employed or qualified enough to find gainful employment are approaching courts to demand maintenance from the husband. Such women also simultaneously entangle the husband in false criminal cases under Section 498A and Dowry Prohibition Act. They also use civil provisions like the Domestic Violence Act and Section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act (in addition to CrPC 125) to demand maintenance from the husband.

Various media reports indicate that NCW is pushing for providing maintenance not only to legally wedded/separated/divorced wives but also to female live-in partners. Another major amendment sought by NCW in Section 125 of CrPC is that ‘adultery should no longer be a ground for denying maintenance to a woman’. We feel that these recommendations are extremely sinister and ill-conceived. Through this letter we explain why the above recommendations of NCW should not be accepted, and also propose amendments that promote gender equality.

A live-in relationship, unlike marriage, is not a legally binding contract. Women (and men) who enter live-in relationships are implicitly accepting the risk of a break-up, whatever the reasons for the break-up may be. Live-in relationship is, in fact, the preferred arrangement for men and women who wish to avoid legal formalities governing their union, separation or the relationship therein. Forcing legal interference into a relationship that is legally invalid is simply ridiculous. Even if one were to condone legalization of live-in relationships, the idea of protecting the interests of just the female live-in partner, and leaving the male partner in the lurch, open to economic abuse, betrays the anti-male sentiments of radical groups like NCW. By providing maintenance to female live-in partners, NCW would only be encouraging unscrupulous women to enter into relationships, break-up at will and extort money from the male partner. Given that the length of a legally valid live-in relationship has not been defined by NCW, a woman who has shared just one night with a man can technically claim maintenance from him. Therefore, whether the legal amendment recommended by NCW is a tool of women’s empowerment or a tool of legalized extortion is a moot question.

Committing adultery amounts to criminal breach of trust and violation of the social sanctity and legal contract of marriage. Adultery should be considered an offence whether it is committed by a man or woman, and equal penalty should be imposed on the erring spouse irrespective of gender. Earlier, NCW shot down proposals for amending Section 497 which suggested that women should be prosecuted for adultery. NCW categorically stated that adulterous women were “hapless victims”, while it considered adulterous men as criminals deserving to be prosecuted. It is shameful that NCW is now recommending amendments to CrPC 125 to convert it into an extortion tool and to award maintenance to adulterous women, in the name of women’s empowerment.

Many men have been forced to pay maintenance to undeserving women merely based on the assumption of perpetual victimhood of women promoted by organizations like NCW. Men who fail to pay maintenance for any reason risk going to jail and even losing the property they own. While scores of wives use existing laws to treat husbands as free ATM machines, NCW is now pushing for new provisions so that women who are not legally married, as well as women who violated the legal contract of marriage by committing adultery, can exploit male partners financially.

As fellow women, we feel that enjoying a parasitic life by siphoning money away from an estranged husband or partner is merely extortion in broad daylight and definitely not a sign of women’s empowerment. If anything, NCW’s idea of women’s empowerment is demeaning to hard-working, self-respecting and individualistic women. By supporting unscrupulous women and providing them more tools for misuse of law NCW is harming many families. Before pushing for anymore deceitful provisions claiming to empower women, NCW should think of ways to provide justice to the 1,20,645 innocent mothers and sisters arrested and tormented in the last four years under false complaints of cruelty and dowry harassment. If NCW were genuinely interested in welfare of women, it must strive to stop future arrests of innocent mothers and sisters.

We, the members of All India Forgotten Women, hereby, condemn the recommendations to CrPC 125 made by NCW. These recommendations are not only an insult to truly empowered women, but also a serious threat to the well-being of our beloved fathers, sons, brothers and male colleagues. Recommendations of NCW, which encourage adultery and live-in relationships, are also a good recipe for destruction of family and creation of a fatherless society.

We, therefore, request lawmakers to amend the CrPC 125 as under:

1. The word men/women should be replaced by the word person; the word husband/wife should be replaced by the word spouse.
2. No maintenance should be awarded to a spouse who is educated, employed or qualified to find gainful employment.
3. The phrase “living in adultery” should be replaced by the word “living or lived in adultery”, and the person who indulged in adultery should not be entitled to any maintenance from his/her spouse, as adultery is nothing but criminal breach of trust.
4. If a person files for maintenance under CrPC 125, he/she should not be allowed to file for maintenance under Section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act or Domestic Violence Act.
5. A maximum limit on monthly maintenance should be fixed and very strictly enforced irrespective of the gender of the spouse claiming maintenance.

We hope that you will take our recommendations and suggestions into serious consideration and promote justice and fairness irrespective of gender.

Thanking you.

Yours Sincerely,

Uma Challa

President

All India Forgotten Women

Please click on the link below for pdf version!

The Obituary of an e - suicider

All the characters in the blog are Imaginary and bear no resemblance with any character living or dead. Any resemblance is purely co – incidental.

Rajesh is a hard – working NRI who is being viewed as a juicy catch for extorting money by embroiling him in false cases of dowry harassment. If he vows to fight against them, he will have to finish off his career abroad and come back to India. If he does not decide to fight, he will be continued to be harassed, economically, socially, legally, and spiritually as the girls’ side in tandem with the police, the lawyers and the judiciary view him as a FREE ATM MACHINE and are out to ruin him in the name of Women Empowerment.

Enter Save Indian Family Foundation, a group of dedicated citizens who are committed to the cause of awakening the sleeping society, media, government and law makers to realize the evils of radical feminism. The most peculiar thing about this group is that they offer free advice on how to combat this ongoing Legal Terrorism. So Rajesh contacts the group over the internet and posts his confusion, whether he should pay or fight.

Rajesh: “What do you guys suggest, they are asking 10 lacs should I pay and get rid of?”

Vrujesh (Conservative Member): “No, do not think on lines of paying. You will be ruined more.”

Abhijat (Liberal Member): “Pay and get rid man, 10 lacs is just 2 months salary for you. And then enjoy life. Ignore these witches.”

Vrujesh: “Abhijat, if you do not know how to suggest people or find it difficult to comprehend the gravity of the situation, JUST SHUT UP.”

Sarkar (Stricter Conservative): “56, 000 men are committing suicide. What have you done for them? This legal terrorism is not going to stop like this. People like you indirectly support the spread of misuse.”

Abhijat: “Hey what are you talking? I am not wrong. There is no point in fighting against this misuse and wasting your life. People those who do not have any work to do will participate in such activity.”

Vrujesh: “Abhijat, don’t create a mess here. People come to us for genuine advice; if that is hard for you to give, simply shut your mouth up.”

Rajesh: “Guys please calm down; I am not going to pay.”

Sarkar: “Dear Abhijat, you look to me like some feminist.”

Abhijat: “You guys think you own the movement. You don’t know my links; I will abolish your movement.”

Mythical (Mysterious character): “Dear, SIFF is a movement. It is in everyone’s heart. If you think abolishing this group you can stop the movement, go ahead.”

Vrujesh: “Eh, hello, Mr. Abhijat, who do you think you are? Let me tell the group about your history. Some months ago you were the one trying to brainwash people that 498a will not happen if there is true love etc. etc. Then you came up with the bullshit idea of appointing lawyers for SIFF and extort money there. Having thus failed you are now brainwashing people into paying. By the way how is your life going on with your new mistress, with whom you have started staying without taking divorce from your first wife? You give a wrong advice next time and it won’t take us long before banning you from the group.”

Satwinder (Conservatively Liberal): “Dear Abhijat, why did you marry without taking divorce?”

Abhijat: “Group, I am sorry for causing the nuisance. Vrujesh, Sarkar, I am sorry.”

NeerKamal (Liberally Conservative): “Chill guys, all have their opinions. At least now we have a good discussion on this. Please stop this mudslinging.”

Discussion ends, and another quasi – feminist quasi metro – sexual commits, what is becoming a trend these days, e – suicide. That is a virtual suicide. A suicide of thoughts. A vagabond of ideas, not knowing where to present them and how to present them and trying to convince people with a seemingly tempting but morally empty idea and then failing miserably.

Whether Abhijat had done intentionally or not is best known to him only, but he has lost all credibility on this forum. In future even if he gives sincere advice, by mistake, he will viewed with suspicion as he has suggested what most money mongers suggest when a man is made a scapegoat of radical feminism by slapping him with false cases.

This post was an obituary of the e – suicider. Let us pay him our homage, by not moving our mouse for 2 minutes, neither touching the keyboard, nor navigating away from this page. Let us pay Abhijat’s e – soul an e – silence.

All India Forgotten Women questions WCD Ministry

To,
Ms. Renuka Chaudhary,
Minister, Government of India,
Ministry of Women and Child Development,
Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,
Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,
New Delhi-110001

Sub: Presentation of our views in continuation of the 25/06/08 Round Table Conference
Honorable Minister,

I am writing to express regret that representatives of All India Forgotten Women, a leading
organization working in the field of family harmony, were not invited for the historic round
table conference held at the India Islamic Centre, New Delhi on 25th June, 2008.
I will appreciate it if you could please give us the opportunity to meet with you and present
our recommendations and suggestions regarding laws pertaining to women.
Awaiting a positive response from your end.
Yours sincerely,
Uma Challa
President
All India Forgotten Women

Poor Law promotes Domestic Violence

National Commission of Women (NCW), recently proposed an amendment of Section 125 CrPC to include women involved in live – in relationships to be eligible for alimony from their live –in partners. This proposed amendment has far reaching consequences, which it is evident that the champion of women’s causes, National Commission of Women seemed to have conveniently ignored.
Granting women involved in live – in relationships a right to claim alimony is a direct insult of the most sacrosanct social institution, marriage, as in India, a marriage is a solemnized vow to support each other through thick and thin taken in the presence of community elders and with their blessings, but, in contrast, a live – in relationship is initiated by the couple just as a means to stay together. But unlike marriage, the commitment factor in a live – in relationship is very low as the ties are very easy to break. There are no liabilities involved from either side.
But giving women an extra and added advantage over men in a live – in relationship is by no means becoming of a national body like NCW. It will be highly immature on their part to assume that all relationships end due to men’s fault and hence they should be made to pay for the same in the form of alimony. After totally lopsided and stringent provisions under the anti – dowry provision, which are misused to the tune of 98 % as provided by the 2 % conviction rate in 498A cases as per National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, which has killed the institution of marriage silently, it seems it is now the turn of live – in relationships.
What the logical rationale fails to understand is how any person having the slightest of common sense can draft any provision on the basis of a generalized statement that all men are criminals and all women are truthfully innocent. When there is a provision to extract money legally, why will a woman not initiate a live – in relationship, break it at will and then harass the man for whole life. As it is the concept of live – in relationship has not come of its age in the Indian society and will also not come as Indian societal scenario is hundred times more complex than western society which is being beautifully attempted to be aped here.
And what do we expect the next step? To legalize children born out of such relationships and promulgate the concept of fatherless society wherein any couple starts living together, parts at will and leaves the children in lurch. Such children will have deep psychological scars rendering them very vulnerable to the possibility of turning into criminals with a multiplicity factor of 9 – 10. Rather than inviting women to start relationships and end them to earn tax – free money without doing any work, the NCW needs to condemn the very idea of live – in relationships and women should not get any sops so that they are discouraged to refrain from entering the wedlock.
Also a proposed amendment in the Immoral Trafficking Act, advocates the concept of addressing prostitutes as victims. It is highly demeaning on part of the agencies championing themselves as women activists to project women as victims always and keep on giving them protection at the cost of men. Today’s women are capable of multi – tasking and are no longer living under financial slavery. Provisions allowing women to claim maintenance under the aegis of a failed relationship either need to be scrapped altogether or at least amended to make them gender neutral (thus allowing men also to lodge complaints to redress their grievances) and include severe and stringent punishments for filing false cases.
It is quite logical that when the woman knows that she will get money only on leveling allegations, she cannot be expected to sacrifice and compromise to make the relation work. It will only be the poor man who will have to keep giving in to keep the woman happy so that she does not lodge a complaint against him and the day he refuses to do so, the woman will feel ‘hurt’ and seek damages in the form of alimony as proposed by NCW. Such a provision can never ensure long lasting relationships.
The following are the proposed amendments to ensure proper justice to all and sundry:-
1) To begin with all monetary provisions need to be removed completely. Either the complainant or the defendant needs to be punished with imprisonment. If allegations are proved to be true the defendant goes to jail and if proved to be false the complainant goes to jail for an equal term for causing unnecessary harassment, torture and defamation to the defendant.
2) Secondly judgments and legal provisions need to completely gender – unbiased and based on merits and application of mind.
3) Thirdly, replace all words like man / woman, husband / wife with person and spouse respectively.
4) No alimony for earning spouses or having a capability to earn and that needs to be determined from the qualification of the petitioner.
Promulgating promiscuous women by allowing them alimony from live – in partners is just another name of Legal Prostitution as now a woman can claim a lifelong alimony by even spending one night with a man (as a prostitute) and such measures need to be severely condemned in a civilized society and the penalties need to be shared by both the partners as both of them were mature adults when the relationship was started and the decision was mutual.
The shadow of doubt in a biased system is permanent as the veil of darkness remains forever. When a man is aware that stringent legal provisions are present to penalize him on harassing a woman, he will not do it on a prima facie basis. And when a woman very well knows that her allegations and tears are going to get her free money, it is highly unlikely that she is going to level true and realistic allegations. And moreover, it takes two to clap. No relationship can be single handedly initiated and ended by a man. The woman is equal partner to every phase of the relation and thus should be made an equal partner in the brunt of the fallacy as well, if unfortunately the relation does not work

Don't be a wife, Live-in and extort

National Commission of Women (NCW), recently proposed an amendment of Section 125 CrPC to include women involved in live – in relationships to be eligible for alimony from their live –in partners. This proposed amendment has far reaching consequences, which it is evident that the champion of women’s causes, National Commission of Women seemed to have conveniently ignored.

Granting women involved in live – in relationships a right to claim alimony is a direct insult of the most sacrosanct social institution, marriage, as in India, a marriage is a solemnized vow to support each other through thick and thin taken in the presence of community elders and with their blessings, but, in contrast, a live – in relationship is initiated by the couple just as a means to stay together. But unlike marriage, the commitment factor in a live – in relationship is very low as the ties are very easy to break. There are no liabilities involved from either side.

But giving women an extra and added advantage over men in a live – in relationship is by no means becoming of a national body like NCW. It will be highly immature on their part to assume that all relationships end due to men’s fault and hence they should be made to pay for the same in the form of alimony. After totally lopsided and stringent provisions under the anti – dowry provision, which are misused to the tune of 98 % as provided by the 2 % conviction rate in 498A cases as per National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, which has killed the institution of marriage silently, it seems it is now the turn of live – in relationships.

What the logical rationale fails to understand is how any person having the slightest of common sense can draft any provision on the basis of a generalized statement that all men are criminals and all women are truthfully innocent. When there is a provision to extract money legally, why will a woman not initiate a live – in relationship, break it at will and then harass the man for whole life. As it is the concept of live – in relationship has not come of its age in the Indian society and will also not come as Indian societal scenario is hundred times more complex than western society which is being beautifully attempted to be aped here.

And what do we expect the next step? To legalize children born out of such relationships and promulgate the concept of fatherless society wherein any couple starts living together, parts at will and leaves the children in lurch. Such children will have deep psychological scars rendering them very vulnerable to the possibility of turning into criminals with a multiplicity factor of 9 – 10. Rather than inviting women to start relationships and end them to earn tax – free money without doing any work, the NCW needs to condemn the very idea of live – in relationships and women should not get any sops so that they are discouraged to refrain from entering the wedlock.

Also a proposed amendment in the Immoral Trafficking Act, advocates the concept of addressing prostitutes as victims. It is highly demeaning on part of the agencies championing themselves as women activists to project women as victims always and keep on giving them protection at the cost of men. Today’s women are capable of multi – tasking and are no longer living under financial slavery. Provisions allowing women to claim maintenance under the aegis of a failed relationship either need to be scrapped altogether or at least amended to make them gender neutral (thus allowing men also to lodge complaints to redress their grievances) and include severe and stringent punishments for filing false cases.

It is quite logical that when the woman knows that she will get money only on leveling allegations, she cannot be expected to sacrifice and compromise to make the relation work. It will only be the poor man who will have to keep giving in to keep the woman happy so that she does not lodge a complaint against him and the day he refuses to do so, the woman will feel ‘hurt’ and seek damages in the form of alimony as proposed by NCW. Such a provision can never ensure long lasting relationships.

The following are the proposed amendments to ensure proper justice to all and sundry:-

1) To begin with all monetary provisions need to be removed completely. Either the complainant or the defendant needs to be punished with imprisonment. If allegations are proved to be true the defendant goes to jail and if proved to be false the complainant goes to jail for an equal term for causing unnecessary harassment, torture and defamation to the defendant.

2) Secondly judgments and legal provisions need to completely gender – unbiased and based on merits and application of mind.

3) Thirdly, replace all words like man / woman, husband / wife with person and spouse respectively.

4) No alimony for earning spouses or having a capability to earn and that needs to be determined from the qualification of the petitioner.

Promulgating promiscuous women by allowing them alimony from live – in partners is just another name of Legal Prostitution as now a woman can claim a lifelong alimony by even spending one night with a man (as a prostitute) and such measures need to be severely condemned in a civilized society and the penalties need to be shared by both the partners as both of them were mature adults when the relationship was started and the decision was mutual.

The shadow of doubt in a biased system is permanent as the veil of darkness remains forever. When a man is aware that stringent legal provisions are present to penalize him on harassing a woman, he will not do it on a prima facie basis. And when a woman very well knows that her allegations and tears are going to get her free money, it is highly unlikely that she is going to level true and realistic allegations. And moreover, it takes two to clap. No relationship can be single handedly initiated and ended by a man. The woman is equal partner to every phase of the relation and thus should be made an equal partner in the brunt of the fallacy as well, if unfortunately the relation does not work.

Open letter to the Director, WCD, Karnataka

Hello Madam,

As I understand you are the director of Women and Child Development in Karnataka. I would like to put this question to you, as to what is the WCD ministry doing for lakhs of those innocent suffering women who are thrusted to jail on mere allegations (true or false) of mental harassment and torture related to dowry.

I am writing this email from my son’s email id. My name is Neena R Dhulia. I am a 60 year old woman who has to attend court dates every month, here in Bangalore for my estranged Daughter -in - law has filed 3 false cases implicating me, my aged and ailing husband and my 27 year old young son. One case has been filed in Kolkata for which my son has to make monthly trips to Kolkata taking leaves from office. My husband is suffering from asthma, chronic bronchitis and is retired. We are solely dependent on our only son for all expenses.

Here is the brief of the ordeal we went thro’ and are still undergoing and if you do not help us, it will continue without any end.

My son’s was an arranged marriage and it took place on 12th Feb 2007 in Kolkata. No sooner after the marriage it came to forth that the girl, Viral Goda (maiden name) had serious psychological and behavioral problems. She was suffering from extreme mood swing and was used to utter habitual lies. Within just 2 months of the marriage, she went to her parents’ place for some days. My son also booked a flght ticket for her as demanded by her father. After going there, her behavior changed very much. She stopped talking to us and within 2 weeks her father refused to send her back, till her ‘conditions’ are satisfied and refused to disclose the same. After that they went incommunicado over phone. My son could not take leaves from office, so he sent her a plain letter asking her to come back. She did not come back. After about a month or so, my husband went to Kolkata, struggling with his dwindling health, to bring her back.

She insulted him badly in front of our relatives and said that my son will have to sign on 10 of her and 6 of her father’s conditions and then only will she ‘think’ of returning. They did not even disclose their conditions and kept pressurizing for my son to go to Kolkata from Bangalore to sign the conditions. They had visited all our relatives’ place and defamed us so much (and specifically me) with false and concocted stories convincing them so much, that no one came forth to our help. We kept them requesting for an amicable settlement, but they never listened to us. Suddenly on 10th September 2007, they landed at our place with the local police and blamed us for ‘Harassing her for dowry’. This was a totally baseless and false allegation as we are Gujarati Jains and there is no Dowry system in our community. Soon their agenda became clear when they demanded 12 lacs rupees in front of the police for not filing the case. Even the police did not listen to us. My son kept pleading to the officer to give him a chance to present our side of the story. But the police officer was in no mood to listen. He also behaved very badly with me and talked to in a manner very unbecoming of a police officer of the rank of SHO talking to an elderly woman. When we failed to satisfy their illegal demands, they filed the case with the cock and bull story they told the police. We were kept in over night police custody. Next day me and my husband were granted bail on health grounds and my son was sent to the Central Jail for 2 days. They also bribed the PP to object for my son’s bail for at least 15 days. But the learned judge granted bail to my son. It has been almost 10 months now since then and apart from court dates, nothing much has happened. In addition they filed cases on us under Domestic Violence Act 2005, 125 CrPC. She has demanded 30, 000 per month as maintenance in Bangalore in DV Act and 30,000 in maintenance. Already she is getting interim Rs. 2500 per month as maintenance under Domestic Violence Act. All this happened to us just because she is a ‘married woman’ and has cried hoarse of dowry harassment. We were put to jail without trial.

They even got this printed in the Times Of India, pg 3, 13 Sept 2007, Bangalore Edition. Why is the media so biased? Even before the case has gone to trial, they have published the verdict. Why is your department not taking action against such biased media reports?? Such false reports are poisoning our society and strangulating the family system of India. People, knowing that they may get a girl child are heading towards abortion as they fear that there are 80 % chances that their daughter will be killed, kicked, raped or tortured for dowry, as published by UN. Why is your department not taking objection to these false and baseless reports adversely brainwashing the mindset of the common people?

This is just a brief version. There are many more things that happened to us. But what I want to know from you is, does your esteemed ministry consider the mothers and sisters of a married Indian male as women? If it does so, then how come in the last 4 years, 95, 000 innocent women have been arrested on mere complaints, without any trial being conducted and your esteemed department is totally mum about it? The laws meant to protect a woman are working against them. For every complaint of dowry harassment made by one woman, there are on an average 3-4 women who are harassed by the police and later it is found that the matter is settled out of court with payment to girls side to the tune of lacs. One word, DOWRY, a married woman utters in front of the police to hide all her follies and the whole family of the in - laws is devastated and treated worst then hardcore criminals like murderers, rapists, burglars and dacoits. Is this the era of Women Liberation for which such laws were passed ??

Why is it that your department is not vouching to fight against this misuse of dowry laws rather than spreading false statistics. A study conducted by Center for Social Research shows that the misuse is to the tune of 98 %. And yet such a law is let loose for Legal Terrorism to be unleashed on innocent law abiding and honest tax paying citizens of India and that too in today’s era of WOMEN EMPOWERMENT.

Is this what your department calls for WOMEN EMPOWERMENT that when a girl fails to deliver her role in a marriage because of her parents’ faulty upbringing, the blame has to be happily passed over to innocent in-laws and terrorise them to coerce them for a payment of the girls’ misdeeds and follies.

This is not only just my case. My son has joined an NGO called Save Indian Family Foundation, that is dedicated to the cause of creating awareness against this ongoing Legal Terrorism and help its victims. Just in Bangalore, alone every week he says, he gets around 8 - 10 new cases and these are the ones who have somewhere heard about the NGO and approach them for help. There are many many silent victims who are dying a slow death everyday as they have no one to listen to theri woes or help them.

Open Letter to the WCD Minister

To,

Ms. Renuka Choudhury,

Minister, Government of India,

Ministry of Women and Child Development,

Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,

New Delhi-110001

Sub : Review of Domestic Violence Act, 2005 on 25th June 2008

Respected Madam,

This is in connection to the review meeting and the article in Today’s Telegraph: Men wail on Renuka’s shoulders

It is extremely surprising that NONE of the below NGOs fighting for family harmony and male rights have been invited for the 25th June 2008 review meeting on Domestic Violence Act 2005, till date.

Organizations working towards stoppage of misuse of Dowry Laws and Legal Terrorism in India and promoting family and marital harmony

1. Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), Bangalore: 0934285323538/09845143724
2. Save Family Foundation (SFF), Delhi: 9810611534 / 9911119113
3. Gender Human Rights Society, Delhi : 9899329991 / 9811052770
4. Manushi, Delhi : 011-23978851 / 9350041502
5. Men Cell, Delhi : 9810170681 / 9868142608
6. Mothers and Sisters Initiative (MASI), Delhi : 9818454928
7. Save Innocent Mother and Sister (SIMS), Bangalore:09342041382
8. Protect Indian Family (PIF), Mumbai : 09869323538 / 09821414336
9. Men Rights Protection, Mumbai : 09892668560
10. Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata : 09830151555
11. Protect Men’s Right, Kerala : 09387052990 / 0484230478
12. Sahana, Hyderabad:09848280354 / 09908578457
13. Asha Kiran, Bangalore: 080-65334135
14. Kutumb Rakshna Vedike, Bangalore : 09886934853
15. Protect Men’s Rights, Orissa : 0943708337
16. Pati Pariwar Kalyan Samiti, Lucknow : 09839097522
17. Rakshak, USA/Delhi : 9810452017
18. My Nation, Dubai/USA: 0096-53869295
19. Pirito Purush Pati Parishad Kolkata : 09433094337 / 09231529437
20. All India Forgotten Women, Hyderabad : 09704683163
21. Gujarat Gaurav Raksha Samiti (GGRS) : Vijay Wadhwani
22. The Akhil Bharatiya Patni Atyachaar Virodhi Sangh (ABPAVS), Gujarat
23. Association of Protection of Mens Rights, Chennai
24. Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, Bangalore (CRISP)
25. Peoples United Relationship Enhancement, Mysore (PURE)
26. Save Indian Family Organisation Rajasthan, Jaipur
27. Purushak Sangrashan Sanstha, Nasik

The websites:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyNationFoundation
www.saveindianfamily.org
www.mynation.net
www.498a.org
www.protectindianfamily.org
www.siftimes.com
www.savefamily.org
www.vaghelasv.com
www.pariwariksuraksha.org
www.mancell.i8.com

http://killingmarriageforvotes.wordpress.com/report-a-blog/

Various NGOs from the above list have already submitted their memorandums separately in February 2008 on the comments on the review of Domestic Violence Act 2005, and till date NONE of the above NGOs have received the invitation to join the review committee on 25th June 2008.

It is even more surprising then who are these 100 male activists who have been invited in the meeting? An RTI is also being filed to know the credentials of these 100 Male activists, the NGOs to which they belong, the NGOs websites and their memorandums and what have these NGOs done for the male rights till date.

Awaiting an early response from your end as it is already 21st June, 2008 and it take some time for these above NGOs for preparation for the 25th June 2008 Domestic Violence Review Meeting.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,

Legal Fighter

A Victim of your Women Centric - Male Hater laws

And they call it a man's world

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.
If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.
If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.
If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.
In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?
Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.
If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.
Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.
Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.
Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Society - A Mirage?

Gender wars have been at the core of the societal imbalance since ages immemorial. And these wars have been largely instrumental in the design and state of the society. All major societal structures like relationships, obligations, social and moral responsibilities revolve around this concept of gender wars. Various behavioral patterns and social norms are also laid down in and around this concept of Gender wars.
By and large the society is what we see today a result of these conflicts arising out of daily life. But now we have a million dollar question, as to what exactly is the society and who actually comprise of it? How has the so called ‘contractors of the society’ been given the authority to rule the lives and decision of so many other people and in reality who actually are the ‘contractors of the society’? What laid to the installation of the fear of social ostracization amongst folks so that a certain set of activities are doomed as ‘unacceptable’ in the society and the people of the clan always take care to see that the banned set of activities is not encouraged in the society? And a plethora of such questions do certainly irk the rationale as one analyzes the evolution of the society.
As a general observation and a rule of thumb, every person in the society defines “The Society” to be comprising of the people around oneself excluding oneself. Thus, the society actually becomes a very convenient scapegoat for wrongful decisions or the need for strict adherence to certain practices without understanding its essentialities or consequences.
If a girl runs away with the neighborhood boy, the family is more concerned about its position in the society rather than the girl’s emotions and feelings and even if she returns, the family is more happy about restoring the ‘apparently lost’ position. If the girl asks the question about her feelings and emotions or expects them to be reciprocated by the family, the family is actually at a loss of answers and thus conveniently passes the blame to the society, saying ‘It is not acceptable in our society’.
If a boy does not perform so well in his studies or his career, then also the family is more concerned about its repercussions on the societal position rather than trying to understand the reasons of his non – performance. Or to make an attempt to understand his actual area of interest and give him a chance to perform in that area. On the other hand, the family pressurizes him to get results as they are ‘losing position’ in the society. And if the boy asks the question about his own interests, then also the blame is very conveniently passed to the society, saying, ‘If you want to stay in this society, you have to stay according to it’.
The whole concept of society has been so deceptively conceived to pass on certain ubiquitously stereotypic histrionics generation over generation, that now the very basic question, the one raised above is very difficult to answer. It is not hard to find people talking ill of the society, cribbing about the wrongs happening in the society, the rising crime, the growing apathy, the dwindling commitment in relationships, the increasing commercialization leading to severe breach of trusts and so on and so forth. But at the same time, it is equally hard to find a dedicated team of committed people ready to take the responsibility to set at least one of them correctly. Again, in the process of cribbing and complaining, people pass the blame to the society thinking that everyone else other than themselves forms the society and being responsible for the mess, should clear it.
With everyone thinking themselves not to be a part of the society this whole concept of society, which actually finds its seeds in the dire need to establish civilization, remains present in a very inconspicuous form. Like a mirage in a desert, visible from a distance, and disappearing fast as one approaches it. Similarly for the problems faced by the civil society at present, a superficial glance will always depict that the society itself is responsible for the mess. But if analyzed closely, it boils down to the question, whether everyone actually does consider oneself as part of the society and ready to take one’s responsibility in setting right things right. And had everyone actually done it, the society as it stands today, would have been in a much better shape and form, if the society actually existed outside us. It does not. It exists within us. Each one of us is the society and each one needs to put in efforts to stabilize the swinging pendulum of societal chaos.
It is still not late. We can do it now. We will do it now. For its now or never.

Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008

http://www.citizens4crisp.org

Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794

PRESS RELEASE

On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest.

CRISP is an initiative aimed at protecting the rights of the children.

CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of "parental alienation" on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a child to remain connected with both parents in case parents get divorced. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education, etc. we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children.

According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on "shared parenting" and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the children.

Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent. This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent.

Indian legal system is still based on a patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work, doing domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, the father's involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers.

The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries.

CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children's upbringing before proceeding with the divorce.

"Studies have shown that children who go through their parents' divorce have

· more conduct problems,

· symptoms of psychological maladjustment,

· lower academic achievement,

· social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the child has to be stopped.

Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes, “One father is better than 100 teachers."

In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are:

· 5 times more likely to commit suicide

· 32 times more likely to run away from home.

· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· 14 times more likely to commit rape.

· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

· 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution

· 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

· 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

· At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.

It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioral problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child.

As custody battles between parents increase, counseling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child.

CRISP wants to highlight:

That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.

That "Interparental Child Abduction" is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.

That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse.

That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren.

That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation.

That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

Demands by CRISP - Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting:

· Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents.

· Single mothers should be given mandatory counseling to increase involvement of biological father in the child's life.

· Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.

· Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitized to consider child's wish.

· 50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.

· Govt. must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.

· Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed.

On 14^th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastrophe in future.

To the WCD Ministry

Honorable Ministers,

As a citizen of India, I seek an answer to the following questions:-

1. As per NCRB data every year, 56000 married men are committing suicide every year on an average. If a married woman dies, it by default assumed to be a dowry death and the whole family of husbands is thrown in to jail. Whereas for a husband death it is just marked off as another death and no action is taken. So is the value of a man's life any less than a woman's life? Or is it that the pain of a mother / sister losing her son / brother is out of the ambit of the purview of these ministries?
2. Why is there no clause of punishment for people filing false cases under section 498A and 3 & 4 DP Act and Domestic Violence Act 2005 and 125 CrPC?
3. Why is section 498A violating the basic principles of Human Rights as laid down by Amnesty International and assumes the accused 'Guilty until proven innocent'?
4. As per NCRB data, 1, 00,000 innocent women have been arrested under section 498A IPC and Section 3 & 4 DP Act, without any trial, merely on the basis of allegations. What action has your concerned ministry taken in this regard to ensure that the offenders are booked and such actions are not repeated in future?
5. Day in and day out, we here cases of senior citizens being evicted out of their own dream home, built out of life - savings by their unscrupulous Daughter -in - law. What has your concerned ministry done to redress the grievances of those mothers who lost their home, their abode in their dusky days to the misuse of a system badly implemented?
6. DV Act is termed Ultra - Vires the Constitution of India as it advocates conviction of a person on sole testimony of complainants and violating Article 13 of the Indian Constitution which says, "All citizens are equal in the eyes of law". So has your concerned ministry taken steps to redress the same loophole? If not, why so? And if there are any plans, when so?

Is it a man' world?

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.

If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.

If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.

If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.

In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?

Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.

If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.

Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.

Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.

Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Protest in Bangalore on Father's Day - 14th June

It takes a man & a woman to make a relationship, known as marriage and the most beautiful outcome of such a relationship are children; beautiful, innocent, full of life, sweet, charming and hordes of other adjectives can be ascribed to them. But irony seems to have devoured even this aspect of life. Children of late have become a tool to obtain, maintain, and sustain supremacy and ego feeding in relationships. Whenever a relationship worsens, a tussle starts between the warring errant couples to get a good scorecard from their children and try to retain them. Many a times they are used as a blackmailing weapon. Men are threatened of false cases if they make an attempt to meet their children. In such a war of egos, no-one, including the two individuals who brought them to this world together, ever bother to think about the rights and future of the children themselves.

Errant and vindictive mothers are often successful in getting custody of their children, courtesy staunchly feminist nymphomaniac mindset of the judiciary giving in to crocodile tears and false show of motherhood in courts. This deprives two individuals of their rights, the child and the father. A child is deprived of a father’s love, affection and care and the father is forced to strangulate his fatherhood. The society and the judiciary need to be sensitized about the importance of the presence of both the parents for a child’s normal upbringing and in the best interest of the child’s future. USA has shown us the catastrophic effects of creating Fatherless Children and Childless Fathers. Teenage Pregnancy, Alcohol addiction in adolescence, high inclination to crimes and many other ill – effects have come to forth in the American Society, courtesy feminism taking its toll with its anti – men policy. With draconian laws favoring women irrespective of merits in Indian legal scenario, Indian society is moving at dramatic pace towards self – extinction.

CRISP (Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting) an initiative taken under the aegis of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) has made its mission to voice the cries of innocent sufferers and sensitize the society about the dire need of both the parents and especially a father in a child’s life. Announcing its launch on 14^th June 2008 at Gandhi Statue on MG Road, near Cubbon Park, CRISP invites people to participate in this noble cause and make an attempt to save the society from a potential and impending catastrophe.

Legal Terrorism at its zenith

Mr. Gurpal Singh, a resident of Delhi, recently suffered a heavy personal loss in his life, with his father suffering from a heart attack. The reason the old man died an unnatural death was his daughter –in – law threatening to file cases based on false allegations of dowry harassment and related torture. His daughter-in-law had occupied his own house and thrown them out form their own home one year back and subsequently, his father and mother have to make rounds of the court/police to get back their own home, which failed till date. They even had to spend nights at "Gurudwara" in spite of his own home he made for his old time. Unable to bear the burden of a false allegation of a crime as grave as ‘Dowry Harassment’ and the associated stigma and social ostracization, Gurpal’s father succumbed to the pressure.

Every year 70, 000 cases of dowry harassment are filed and if the data compiled by Centre for Social Research is anything to go by, 98 % of such cases are false, void of merit and filed with an adverse motive of extortion, revenge and an intention of settling petty marital discords. In the last four years 95, 000 innocent women have been arrested solely on the base of allegations of dowry harassment, without any trial being ever conducted. When such a case comes to the police station or any so – called women’s organization, the first thing done is to take the whole family into the ambit of suspicion, without verification of the complaint, including small children and senior citizens, and pregnant sisters.

In case a woman dies within seven years of her marriage, the death is viewed with suspicions of dowry related harassment as a de – facto standard and the whole family of the in – laws are thrust into the prison and denied bail. Such fears have risen to such alarmingly high levels in the society that even the mention of such a threat to file a case can drive any person into deep wells of fear and uncertainty. Gurpal’s father also was going through the same mental phase and not being able to take the pressure, suffered from an emotional breakdown and a son lost his father in the most crucial period of his life.

It is highly disheartening to see the pathetic state men and their families are in currently in the society. Living constantly in a fear of false allegations being leveled against them and washing their lives in a whiff of a moment, some commit suicides, some give way to biological irregularities while more others are compelled to give in to unreasonable, unjustified and illogical demands in lieu of not filing a case. Is the value of a man’s life less than the value of a woman’s life, so much so that the society considers taking their lives as ‘Social Service’ and does not feel any need to take some steps to improve conditions. The daughter – in – law of Gurpal’s father is responsible for his sad demise, and charges of abetment of suicide need to be leveled against her and such a blatant misuse of laws deems punishment. Such acts fall no short of Legal Terrorism.

Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) an NGO committed to the cause of spreading awareness of this ongoing Legal Terrorism in the society and helping its victims, seeks to demand police intervention in Gurpal’s father’s sad demise and book the offenders for the crimes committed. A man’s life is not to be wasted like this making it a price of unleashing Legal Terrorism and such a loss needs to be compensated with timely justice. It would be absolutely mandatory to reiterate here that as per National Crime Records Bureau’s Data, every year close to 75, 000 men end their lives in suicide, more than double the number of women, yet men have no protection from the law. In addition to that they are subjected to wide and blatant false allegations and victimized under highly biased legal system plagued with lopsided laws.

Gender biased and draconian laws formed on the basis of highly bloated statistics are coming under high scathing as increasingly they are becoming tools to exercise unwarranted power and control. To add to it they have become legal channels of tax - free money extortion sponsored from tax payers’ hard earned money. SIFF condemns such laws and urges the government to take drastic and timely steps to avoid a social catastrophe turning a civilized society into a jungle of state sponsored Legal Terrorism snuffing lives out of innocent citizens in the dusky days.

Unfortunately if this had been the Father of a girl, all channel would had flashed the News, an old father ends his life for Dowry harassment and the husband's father/mother/sisters/child would havae been put behind the bars, but cases such as these always go un-reported, resulting in more and more elder people loosing their life silently, which it seems that not only the government authorities our media friends also believe to be considered as *"Social service of India" as the DIL killed the FIL.

Laws with flaws

Satan was nature’s favored child in ways unimaginable. Satan had invaded the most vulnerable species on earth, the feminists to influence the society to view women as liabilities and costs were associated with a woman being at every stage of her life. Enter women’s safety requirement, as they being the propagators of the clan, called for added security and protection, as also dependency being the favorite feminine attractions. Enter the requirement for establishment of marriage to ensure women’s safety and enter the hidden cost associated with it, named by society as DOWRY. Money is a powerful tool and greed is a mandatory component of human idiosyncrasy. Satan was well aware of both the facts. So, via the feminists, Satan had successfully installed mandatory money transactions in marriage as the cost of liability to protect a woman.

Greed for more money rendered women in a very vulnerable position in the society and Satan then proceeded to convince the society to eradicate the social evil called DOWRY from the society to protect women. Satan here used the short memory of the civilization as it was the same Satan who, through feminists had installed DOWRY in the society and again it was the same Satan who was vouching for its elimination via its favored form called the feminists. Enter the successful acceptance of dowry as a crime by the society and its justified eradication through stringent legal procedures and hefty penalties. But the trick Satan played revealed itself only when the damage was done. Satan was successful in dividing people on gender basis and snatching happiness from the society.

It seems like the favorite game of Satan to impose rules, allow them to be flouted and then exercise control to establish power. Having thus established the reign of power and control, Satan then influenced the feminists, who made a lot of hue and cry over the issue of gender equality and gender abuse. Apparently they seemed to be vouching for women’s issues and projected women in a very demeaning position by portraying them as objects of material trade and a status symbol, but silently it was Satan establishing the foundations of a blasphemy intended to invade and erode the roots of 2 strongest societal structures, MARRIAGE and FAMILIAL LIFE.

By nature humans love flouting rules and this is one of the major reasons why rules are made. In every arena of life we see the same game being played by Satan taking incarnation amongst the legislative and executive body which makes laws to govern the society and maintain status quo. And the same applied to the eradication of this so called menace known by the name of dowry via legal procedures of enacting Acts and formulating laws. Enter the successful inclusion of the Dowry Prohibition Act 1961, IPC 498A, 1983 and their youngest sibling, Domestic Violence Act, 2005.

Even a cursory glance at the implementation of these laws and Acts reveals how the same are being used as a hoax to convert marriage into a business tool and familial life into a business project. A mere complaint can ruin the life of any person as an immediate arrest follows and whether allegations are true or not is decided in a trial which does not happen in most of the cases and even if it happens, starts after 3 -4 years, by the time the accused is already deprived of humanity, social status and peace of mind. Satan has been so successful into brainwashing the society about the deplorable state of affairs of women, that even a false allegation of harassment and torture by a married woman, especially on her in – laws portrays them as criminals far more dangerous than murderers, burglars, dacoits and rapists that they are denied bail, the fundamental right of any citizen as per the Indian Constitution and also held guilty until proven innocent violating the most basic principle of human rights as prescribed by Amnesty International.

The society often tries to justify Satan’s efforts, albeit unknowingly and subconsciously with an explanation that the married woman needs money for her sustenance and thus should be provided the same, even if allegations are baseless and void of merits and logical completeness. What the society fails to notice the ignominy and pitfalls of this provision is something worth notifying. It is totally unacceptable to the logical rationale that a monetary compensation can salvage the torture the woman underwent to satiate the greed of her in – laws. It will be more justified to penalize them for what they have done by convicting them to jail rather than letting them go off by paying a few lacs of rupees which can be again recovered. But also keeping in mind the high degree of emotional expressiveness and the provision of arrest on a mere complaint, the decision to justice is just a matter of time and till the time the decision is pending, a monetary compensation seemed apt, as advocated by Satan and wicked women taking a cue from this have started flouting these rules as per their whims and fancies and feel happy and victorious to walk away with the monetary compensation.

Hats off to Satan for a masterstroke and a master blaster innings by creating problems in the society in the name of dowry, justifying its eradication at all costs and thus allowing loosely defined and heavily lopsided laws to be enacted and then waiting for people to misuse these laws and thus unleashing a mayhem of chaos in the society. It is just a matter of time before people realize and understand this game. A mockery of protection of women is being done and the targets of the brunt of this fallacy are innocent men who are cornered like anything, abused and exploited socially, financially, morally, spiritually, individually and collectively which the society happily accepts as social service and has turned its blind eye and deaf ear to the same.

Hoping to see Satan getting exposed and cornered leading to harmonious life.

Freedom of Expression

This article has been influenced by the movie Taare Zameen Par.

Is expressiveness a necessary mandate in the language of communication? Ishaan Awasthi is just like any other child, but sadly enough suffers from dyslexia, a neurological disorder which disables his normal brain processing to judge and discriminate shapes of alphabets, memorize and cognize them when confronted again. This abnormality does not allow him to perform daily task with the ease that other children of his age can.

His parents are not able to reciprocate to his needs of support, love and understanding and constantly pressurize him to perform in studies, a pressure that he is not at all able to take, nor talk about it. He has developed a fear to express himself to his parents and starts resenting all their efforts, to make him understand the need for his performance in order to survive in this over – competitive world, go for a toss. Exasperated and not able to comprehend his behavior, his parents send him to a boarding school much to his dislike.

Ishaan had an uncanny ability of painting and through his painting he used to express himself, but it needed a sensitive eye to notice the pain expressed in his paintings. His elder brother being a scholar – performer, his parents wanted him to follow his elder brother’s footsteps but in this process, all of them got alienated from him. His inability to perform and stand up to the expectations of his parents brutally murdered his self – confidence and this further drove him away from his family. To depict this pain he painted a series of paintings of his parents, his brother and himself and in each painting he used to move himself away a little bit. When the paintings were dropped in a sequence, it depicted his slow alienation from his family, his support system and his recession into the oblivion of loneliness and silence.

The pain which small, innocent and fragile Ishaan could not express through words took the form of brush strokes. The messages he used to convey through his paintings at a tender age of 9 had the potential to rattle the hearts of grown-ups as well. The mode of communication that Ishaan developed was certainly off – track but the compulsion underlying the foundation of its development was nurtured and nourished by this inability of the society to understand pain and its various forms of expression. The view that words are the only form of efficient communication and other form of arts like painting, literature and music are just modes of recreation is what fuels the sad reality of unfortunately different souls like Ishaan finding it difficult to survive in this world.

Such sad reception of other forms of art has also led to euphoria in the society that until and unless a child performs in studies and gets topper marks; he has no stay and say in this ultra – competitive world. Even if the child has some serious problem, continuing in his studies and has some other talents that he wants to develop, he is forbidden to do so till he does not rebel against it and ensure that he has his own way. This could be easy for a normal child but for a visibly compromised child like Ishaan who craves for understanding to convey his inabilities, resentment and resorting to rebellious techniques to nurture his talent cannot be an easy task.

If the liveliness of such a child is killed in the initial foundation days then the society stands the risk of losing invaluable talents. In today’s world everyone wants their child to be a topper, a doctor, an engineer or an MBA and parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to perform. This puts the kid in a spot and makes him feel guilty if he fails. Such thoughts act as poisons to creative talent and do not allow it to flourish and blossom.

Communication is a powerful tool and nature has its own beautiful methods of doing so which are devoid of any words. Birds chirping, winds blowing, flowers blossoming, all convey some message to us. A message that just doing a humdrum and slumber job and arranging finances is not life. It is just one of the ways to live life and should not replace the actual beauty life is. Ishaan did this in a wonderful manner through his paintings and showed it to the world that an unfortunate child like who is still struggling to identify alphabets, a task his contemporaries do without an iota of unease, can perform wonders even without support. Wonder what his capabilities could have been, had his parents understood him and not put a pressure on him to perform the way other kids perform and not put the constraint of verbal communication of expressiveness on him.

Nymphotropism a boon or a bane?

Protect women, as they are the propagators of the clan, the age old line of thought reflects itself in the design of the oldest and hitherto most sacrosanct social institution called MARRIAGE which forms the basis of blissful life and the foundation of societal structures. And that is fairly acceptable too, if we delve deep into the factual synopsis leading to the concept of marriages. The institution of marriage was in actuality designed to provide protection to the female members of the social clan. Biologically females have reproductive power and this makes it important to the society to take care of the females by protecting them, even if they are criminals. Genetically males are designed to feel heroic saving a woman, and want to go out of the board in their bid to protect a female from another male. Welcome to the euphoria of Nymphotropism which has so far been very influential in the major events worldwide.

Nymphotropism, as we take its view as the conjugate equivalent of chauvinism, is quite a controversial phenomenon universally for expressiveness and emotional outcry being the formidable most and distinctive features of the female gender, cannot be merely ruled away as a manipulative tool nor be taken for granted at all instances to be genuine and true, though it enjoys a ubiquitous benefit of doubt ab initio. A woman’s tear does rattle the audiences’ heart for once and wicked women take advantage of this to fool a man into believing her alleged and described ordeals to be true. Well this may be disastrous as she could be conspiring against a man to settle her personal vendetta, by making two men fight over her. Her victim could be innocent as well who would be vandalized as the woman’s tears were believed to be true, courtesy, Nymphotropism. As we started with the thought of protecting women for they are the propagators of the clan, but then do not men need a protection and as this question certainly irks the rationale, it has a very straightforward answer as well, males being accorded the role of a Protector and the Provider in the society need to make provisions to protect themselves, for one who is not able to protect self, cannot protect others.

A man, who protects a woman, not only develops a self- feeling of greatness and overwhelming, but is also hailed by peers and superiors equally and so this adds another point to the ever spreading influence of Nymphotropism. Taking a cue from this, wicked men world over have always tried to portray their own brethren in bad light, by passing over their own misdeeds as traits of men, in general, and making the world believe that women need a lot of protection from men and this protection has to come from a man only. Sounds ironical but is unfortunately true as well. This practice mandated the formulation of laws needed to protect women. So we can see that it was Nymphotropism that led to the foundation of a societal and legal structure that accords a very fragile and victimized status to women and an oppressing view to men. While this helps wicked men and women get their way along, it’s the innocent ones (both men and women) who suffer because of this. Not only this there are many other unthought-of and non – analyzed fallouts and consequences of Nymphotropism which we shall see further.

Going by statistics we have close to 70, 000 cases of dowry harassment filed every year and about 8000 cases of Domestic Violence, 98 % of which are false and hence uncalled for in first place. And then these cases go on running for years together with little progress except for changing dates and applications and objections. Also each such matter involves close to 5-6 intertwined cases each having its own set of applications and objections. If we calculate the huge amount of paper base that is wasted for these false cases, all thanks to Nymphotropism, which facilitated the enactment of heavily lopsided laws, open to wide misuse void of any punishment for the same, the substantial contribution that goes to global warming because of this paper wastage is hard to imagine. And Nymphotropism is not an isolated phenomenon in India alone it exists world over and hence projecting the above paper wastage world over, it will be petrifying to imagine the amount of global warming that has attenuated. For paper is made from wood pulp and for that the forest cover is devoured thus leading to lesser and lesser rainfall and we have what almost every scientist on earth has been talking of, THE GLOBAL WARMING, though not solely caused as a side – effect of Nymphotropism, but has a substantial share attributed to it. And there is one more reason to this, the more such cases are filed, the more people require to travel, intra – city, inter – city, inter – country thus leading to increased fuel consumption and increased pollution and carbon emanation into the atmosphere.

Had it not been for Nymphotropism to believe everything that a woman says decorated with tears, even to the extent of ignoring and invalidating irrefutable evidence proving the alleged ordeals otherwise, we would not have had such a bad state of affairs, currently the institution of marriage and society is in. Men in the western countries have already started despising marriage and the average age of marriage has gone up drastically, men in India, have started developing distrust and a hidden fear regarding marriage. If, once for a while we assume that draconian marital laws are not misused, then also this sweet monster called Nymphotropism is disastrous to men married to wicked wives, as they will keep driving the nymphomaniac society towards these men, either for sadistic pleasure or realize their ulterior motives and objectives.

Nymphotropism breeds ignominy and distrust among males, as generally it is a man against another man due to an intervening female. And again it is due to Nymphotropism only that eunuch impressed sons get separated from parents and we are yet to hear a single instance of a son disowning his parents prior to his marriage, for otherwise, instances are galore and not far to seek.

The time has come wherein the society realizes about the perils Nymphotropism poses to the human race and comes out of the lethal euphoria before it is too late.

Domestic Violence on Men

Dear All,We all know that men are victims of heavy and intense domestic violence at the hands of our wives and in – laws, but sadly neither does one realize or feel the need to do anything about this. This includes those men too who face them. Below is a survey for domestic violence on men. Spare a few minutes and visit the following sites and fill up the survey. It is totally anonymous.

http://is-nri.com/take/?i=130127&h=xLmUOP14FxMQqT7EvxImPw

Charcha SIF ka

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional

Raj and Simran had experienced, what is known as love at first sight, with Tujhe Dekha to yeh jaana sanam playing in the background when they met. No sooner did they decide to tie the knot. Raj loved Simran very much but Simran had other plans. Soon after her marriage her behavior changed and within 6 months of their marriage, she went back to her parents place never to return.

Simran: Papa, mein Raj ke saath nahi reh sakti, who mera bilkul khayal nahi rakhta, na movie dekhne lekar jaata hain, na kahin ghumne jaata hain, khaana bhi banwaata hain aur ab to uske parents bhi rehne aane waale hain. Suresh, Rocky wagarah se baat karti hoon to bhi bigadta hain. Ek din disco kya chali gayi inke saath, itna jhagda kiya tha mere saath.

Papa: Oh puttar, fikar not tussi. Woh tere saamne jhukta hua aayega. Hum usse 498A ke case mein fasaa denge. Phir dekhte hain saala kahaan jaata hain.

Simran: Aise kaise fasaa denge.

Papa: Arre maine sab pata kar rakha hain. Tu bas mere saath thane chal. Abhi akkal thikaane lagate hain uski.

At the thana.

Writer: Kya chahiye?

Papa: Yeh dekhiye meri beti Simran. Kitni dhoom dhaam se iski shaadi ki thi. Unhone shaadi ke time se hi demand karni shuru kar di thi. Us waqt to humne kaise bhi karke unki demands puri kar di. Par ab to paani sar ke……

Writer: Itni kahani kyun suna rahe ho? Seedha kaho na ki 498A ka case karne aaye ho apne damaad par?

Papa: Ab aur koi chaara bhi to nahi bacha.

Writer: Theek hain, theek hain. Abhi Circle Inspector duty par gaye hain. Jab woh aayenge, tab unse baat karna. Abhi wahaan bench par baitho. Mujhe bahut kaam hain.

They wait for 4 hours. Finally the Circle Inspector comes. After much ado, allows them to meet and listens to them.

CI: Hmmm, dekhiye aap ek kaam kijiye, apni complaint likhwa dijiye, hum tehkikaat kar ke ACTION le lenge.

Papa: Par meri beti ka kya hoga?

CI: Arre maine kaha tha shaadi karne ko? Mein to apna kaam kar raha hoon na?

Father – daughter leave. CI calls up the jurisdictional DCP.

DCP: Kya hua?

CI: Sir ek 498A ka case aaya hain.

DCP: Hmmm, kya lagta hain.

CI: Wahi standard kahani hain Sir, abhi to taal diya hain. But aage kya Karen?

DCP: Yaar kahin uska pati SIF ka member na nikale, naak mein dum kiya hain saalon ne. Peechle 2 hafton se unki RTI ka jawaab de raha hoon. Saala itna to maine apni IPS ki exam mein nahi likha tha. Kahin iska launda bhi SIF ka chhora nikla to phir se pange. Saala pehle se AB lekar baitha hoga, Police ko bhi handle kar lega. Humein to kuch milega nahi aur na kuch hoga Chargesheet karne ko. Woh bhi saala RTI daal daal kar dalwa dega. Aur kahin media mein pahunch gaya to aur panga ho jayega. Taalo aur kya.

Simran and her father make a lot of efforts to get the FIR registered, but nothing happens. They are turned down everywhere. Meanwhile Raj comes to know thro’ RTI about the complaint against him in the local thana over which the police had not taken any action. He calls up Simran’s father.

Papa: Hello.

Raj: Suna aap 498A register karwaane gaye the? Hua nahi kya? Main yahaan 20 dinon se AB le ke baitha hoon ki police ghar par aaye, par aati hi nahi.

Papa: Kya 498A? Kya keh rahe ho beta?

Raj smiles.

Raj: Kya papa aap bhi? Aapko pata hona chahiye mein SIF Ka member hoon.

Phone line goes dead.

Papa: Kyun ri kulta, kulakshini, bata nahi sakti thi tera miyan SIF ka member hain. Tabhi kahoon saale ke khilaaf koi 498A ki FIR kyun register nahi karta. Yeh din dikhaana tha tujhe. Iske liye bada kiya tha tujhe. Kahin newspaper waalon ko pata chal gaya apne bare mein to band bajaa denge. Thoda adjust nahi kar sakti thi uske saath. Khaana hi to banana ko kehta tha. Teri maa ne nahi banaya hian. Tu kaun si aasmaan se utri hain. Chal ja ab reh uske saath, jaise bhi rakhe tujhe.

On returning, Raj refuses to take her back. Files for divorce based on mental cruelty on account of an attempt to implicate him in a criminal case falsely.

Differentiated Similarities

Assumptions and hidden agendas wherever involved in the foundation and design of any society, can lead to serious problems over the years. Being deemed as the Protector, the Provider and the Adventurer, men themselves made the world believe that they cannot suffer. It is not hard to notice, parents telling their SON, be like a MAN, stop crying and learn to do things your own way. Well in a way that is good, as it teaches the MAN to be self – dependent as he has to Protect and Provide when HE grows up. But the imbibitions of this line of thought are so engraved and deep rooted that the MAN as HE grows up almost starts feeling sorry for feeling BAD, ABUSED, HARASSED, TORTURED. He starts feeling as though he has no RIGHT to do so. But that is not a healthy sign, even psychologists and relationship experts have voiced out their concerns over this behavioral traits of men and have enchanted it umpteen number of times that IT IS OK TO FEEL BAD AND SHARE THE SAME AND ACCEPT THAT SOMETHING IS BOTHERING THEM, but sadly enough it falls on deaf ears for age – old stereotypes which are rock – engraved take centuries of time and loads of sufferings, realizations and metamorphosis to take a new and desired form.

It is not uncommon to see that when a MAN tries to discuss his problems pertaining to a relationship, he is cornered saying either, “You are a MAN, stop cribbing like a WOMAN, or she is a WOMAN, it will be like this only.” Such responses have led to the establishment of euphoria in the societal as well as the legislative and the executive ambiance that Men do not need anything, they have everything. This was also recently upheld in a judgment by the Honorable Delhi High Court hearing a petition challenging the tenacity of the Domestic Violence Act 2005, citing it as Ultra Vires of Article 14 of the Constitution of India. The petition was dismissed saying the argument held no merit as the court was of the view that, “Though men are victims of violence, such incidences are few and far between, thus ruling out the possibility of protection from the parliament.” This statement, sadly enough reflects a very bad taste of mind, which though acknowledges the existence of domestic violence against men, but refuses to accept it for the very lack of proper data to substantiate a lesser known claim. If the data provided by the National Crime Records Bureau is anything to go by, the number of suicides committed by men in the year 2005 and 2006, stand at a staggering figure of 150000, as compared to 50000 for women. Does this not reflect the sorry state of affairs, Indian Men are currently in. Of these 150000, 108000 have been suicides by Husbands, which is fairly explainable enough as well, as the government which earns 82 % of taxes from these Men has washed off its hands of this alarming trend, these men have no protection, voice or say. Men are not only victims of Domestic Violence; they are victims of misuse of these laws as well. 99% of the cases of Domestic Violence and Dowry harassment filed against Men and their families are false and filed with a motive to extort money and unfortunately the Horse Trading goes on in the Temple of Justice and is passed off as WOMEN LIBERATION and EMPOWERMENT OF THE WEAKER SEX.

All Men around the HARASSED HUSBAND try to brainwash and console the man saying the girl needs money, protection etc. What these men fail to understand here is that there has been a serious role reversal of the perpetrator of violence and the victim of violence wherein the victim, being hailed as the criminal, is forced to compensate the tormentor, being hailed as the victim. Also these men feel great they are protecting a woman, which is good enough, for if the MAN is meant to protect, he should protect and feel good about it, but nowhere does it stand justified to protect at the cost of another MAN. But sadly enough this is the trend catching on slowly. It looks highly delirious for a MAN to exist in a society suffering from DOUBLE STANDARDS where one judgment speaks of the inability of the ambit of the Domestic Violence Act 2005 to cover men as victims and other one says that incidences of Domestic Violence being far and few between, men should not expect protection from the parliament. It is not hard to see the repercussions of such DIFFERENTIATED SIMILARITIES amongst men, who are now not even refraining from taking the law into their hands by either committing suicide or murder, what with having exasperated with the apathy meted out by the administrators of their own brethren.

Once again this question is put forward to the civil society and the government that are they ready to accept this trend, wherein cornered men think of snuffing of life as the only final solution or they have the guts and willingness to change the courses of the tides and the winds. I hope some spineless men start developing spines after reading these lines.

Spineless Men

In what has been an age old testament regarding the sensibilities of the genders, we have a preset imageries of the Sterner and the Fairer Sex, leading to the sediment of a quasi – rigid quasi – stubborn mindset which is stereotypically ubiquitous in nature, definition and essence, wherein the Sterner Sex, the Male Gender has been termed the Protector, the Provider and the Adventurer while the Fairer Sex, the Female Gender has been termed the object of Beauty, the Home Maker and the Life Giver. Men feel great providing and feel like God when they protect someone, especially a Woman and in this process often forget that they too are humans who can need someone. They feel a big problem discussing their problems and feel low doing so, forgetting the fact that they too are humans, females, on the other hand, find it quite natural to discuss their problems and also do not feel low doing so. This process combined over years of practice has led to a seemingly true and apparently explained perception that Women need a lot of protection and that protection has to come from a Man, wherein it led to the establishment of the euphoria mirrored in the statement, “Men’s Duties and Women’s Rights” which has been very instrumental in the design of the social norms and the legal design as well and Men have been highly instrumental in designing this euphoria. Over years of turmoil and toil this euphoria caught such an attention that the need or requirement for its conjugate euphoria, mirrored in the statement, “Men’s Rights and Women’s Duties” has either been never been felt or if ever sounded, was over - sounded and over – shadowed by the first one.

So ubiquitously it has been assumed that Men are guilty of crimes and Women, even if criminals are so due to some COMPELLING REASON, this has led to men being cornered over centuries so much so that, they are now viewed with suspicion and biased assumption, not only by Women folks, but by other Men as well. It is not uncommon to see that when a woman is embroiled in some crime, men and women, in general, empathizing with the culprit and struggling to find reasons leading to her metamorphosis to a criminal. On the other hand, the same case being with a Man, not only is he subjected to condemnation, prosecution and punishment shall also follow as package bonuses. That does not mean that he is allowed to commit crimes and should be encouraged to do so. Crime is Crime and is independent of gender. If a Man commits a murder or if a Woman commits a murder, it results in the same after – effect, a life is snuffed and denied existence. Then why do we have different standards set for treatment with the criminal based on gender. The man committing the murder is viewed as a criminal while a woman doing the same is viewed as an object of sympathy.

We do have such standards, for as they say that the society is male – dominated and if it is actually so that the society is male – dominated, then those men are spineless men who have set such standards. A standard suffering from an undue sentimental balance towards a particular gender which associates different assumptions for Men and Women. Very recently we had a landmark judgment from the Honorable High Court of Delhi expanding the ambit of the Domestic Violence Act 2005 to female partners engaged in live – in relationships with their male partners. This article is not meant to condemn the particular judgment, but the saddening fact is an unexplained assumption as cited in the judgment, “the court said that in a case of women having live-in relationships with a man it could be fairly assumed that the relationship was initiated by the man.” The question here that irks the rational mind is that, is starting any relationship solely dependent on only one of the partners or is it that when the relationship is sweet, both the partners cherish the fruit and when it goes awry only the Man is borne to bear the brunt of the fallacy. Did we give considerable weight age to other possibilities that the relationship was started mutually or the Man was forced into the relationship keeping in view the protection laws that exist in case the relation does not work and in that case a monetary relief from the Man to the Woman will be on its way?

Further points of gravitational significance in the judgment are “since an assumption can fairly be drawn that a live-in relationship is invariably initiated and perpetuated by the male” and “the court should also not be impervious to social stigma which always sticks to women and not to the men.” If we are going to have cases to be decided on such biased and preset assumptions then probably we can do away with the legal process and decide the cases arbitrarily because anyways Men are going to suffer from such assumptions wherein they are going to be denied fair and impartial justice and will be continued to be tried under loosely drafted laws prepared with a mindset against the principles of natural justice. Such judgments are just an addition to the growing mistrust amongst men towards the judiciary as has been recently highlighted with gruesome incidents like Amit Budhiraja of Infosys Technologies murdering his wife and subsequently committing suicide, citing marital problems as the reason for the extreme decision and its consequent implementation to reality and the more recent dual suicide by a techie couple in Hyderabad, again marital problems being at the core of the reason for the snuffing away of two young lives. These persons were of loose persona who preferred ending their lives rather than giving a fight against the adversities and showing the moral and courage to stride against the tide, but on a judgmental and analytical benchmark of post – incidental synopsis the height of frustration and apathy towards the government and the society to solve marital problems also comes to the fore decorated with another age – old assumption that, “Which marriage does not have problems?” If that be so and that being true, is it fair and just enough to allow crimes and murders to be the final solutions in such cases?

Amit Budhiraja was working with Infosys Technologies for nine years, elucidating his stable nature, took the extreme decision of killing his wife and committing suicide subsequently when his wife, allegedly, threatened him of a false dowry case, when he had come to know of an alleged affair of hers with a colleague of hers. He was well aware that with a biased society defined and ruled by spineless men, who prefer believing a woman’s tears more than irrefutable evidence, he had few chances to safeguard himself and his parents, once his wife would start crying TORTURE and DOWRY. It would be very hard for him to prove his innocence and an unnecessary legal battle of 5 – 6 years would ensue, stripping him off his finances. Day in and day out we see more and more such cases, where Men are denied a chance to even defend themselves, let alone imparting justice to them. Let us hope the civil society and the government and the judiciary wakes up to this alarming trend of growing distrust amongst suffering men for the cornering they are offered, leading them to turn to extremist and take the law into their hands, and does something to curb the menace. The article does not intend to justify the crimes committed by men, so what it has been fueled by the distrust and apathy, meted out to them, nourished by the system and the society, there has to be severe condemnation of crime, in order to curb it, but the society needs to wake up to this alarming trend and start to think of the conjugate euphoria described above and referred again here, “Men’s Rights and Women’s Duties”. Are those spineless men who believe that the society is male dominated ready to make an effort to institute the conjugate euphoria for suffering Men?

To the President of India

To,
The Honorable President of India,

This is regarding the recent murder of a married woman Rinku Sachdeva by her husband, Amit Buddhiraj, who was an employee of Software Major Infosys
Technologies in Bangalore. Although the whole matter in the media is being
hyped up that he killed his wife suspecting her of having an illicit
relationship with one of her colleagues, but the truth is not that. His
suicide note clearly mentions that he feared that having found out his
wife’s extra marital affair, he was threatened of a false dowry harassment
case. He very well knew that in the current scenario if the wife files a
false dowry harassment case against him and his parents, they will land in
big trouble as the law is totally biased and draconian in nature,
implementation and definition. He had lost faith in the Indian Judiciary and police, and hence an intelligent person like Amit Buddhiraj was compelled to take the law in his hands and he also knew that there is no point in living after that as he is not going to get justice, so he himself committed suicide.

There are thousands of families suffering from false cases filed under Sec
489A and the Domestic Violence Act 2005 and lakhs of families living day in
and day out of a fear of a false case being lodged against them if they do
not accede to the demands of the girl and her parents. Such miscarriage of
justice and abuse of a noble cause for EMPOWERING WOMEN is ruining the
Indian family world over and unleashing a new form of LEGAL TERRORISM on
umpteen number of innocent families.

The family system of India, which has been the crown of the rich and varied
Indian culture is slowly being devoured by a legally patronized and
nourished demon called the FALSE CASES of HARASSMENT. We need to remember
that FALSE ALLEGATIONS of ABUSE are ABUSE. If justice is not meted to those
suffering innocent families trapped in such cases, we will see more and more
people like Amit Buddhiraj taking such extreme steps. Not to mention of the
pain inflicted on the parents of the boy and the girl in their dusky days,
such extreme steps are a big drain on the intellectual property of the
country. Both of them were highly placed professionals and now their lives
and career have been ruined.

I, as a law abiding citizen of India, request the president to kindly look
into the current scenario of the implementation of marital laws, which being
highly gender biased are highly misused by unscrupulous people to their
criminalist advantages. Due to the undue sentimental balance of the
legislative and executive machinery towards a particular class of women,
such laws like 498A, Domestic Violence have become a handy tool to convert
marriage into a business opportunity. Such practices need to be stopped,
condemned and the abusers deemed to be punished to deter other people from
fraying into this obnoxious alley of LEGAL CRIMES.

I urge the Honorable President of India, to take up this matter seriously
and save the Indian Family from dying a premature and unnatural death.

Consequences of IPC 498A

First time readers refer to IPC 498A – The most draconian law for reference and continuity.

Having had discussed the features and loopholes of IPC 498A and some of its possible areas of misuse, we will now proceed to discuss the consequences of filing a FALSE DOWRY CASE on the MAN, his friends and families. If for a while we assume that the law is not misused, then also this serves a very lesser purpose as conviction under this law is very difficult, for it needs to be proved the said HARASSMENT for the UNLAWFUL DEMAND was of such nature that it was of danger to the life and limb of the complainant or that it drove the complainant to suicide to the satisfaction of the court beyond reasonable doubt. So we have terms like “satisfaction of the court” and “beyond reasonable doubt” which are highly contentious and interpretation dependent and also difficult to PROVE, DISPROVE or term the accusations and allegations as NOT PROVED.

Hence even if the case is true, justice is hard to be delivered. And the case being true, it is the girl here who has been harassed and yet the chances of she getting justice will be very meek. And for a false case, there is no question of imparting justice to the girl as no harassment as alleged has ever taken place and real justice should be meted out to the boy’s family which never happens in a great country like India which assumes that all daughters-in-law are true to the core and all in-laws of complaining and cribbing girls have never uttered a word of truth in their whole life. As has been repeatedly highlighted that filing a false case is gross misuse of IPC 498A and we have also seen even if the case is true, justice is far to be sought.

The retrospective effects of such a case are far reaching and case based. Firstly it is a lifetime blow to the husband, a stab in the back from someone as close to heart as SPOUSE, LIFE PARTNER. Hence the moral and emotional setback is always there. To add to it, the stereotypic and orthodox mindset of the society that a MAN must have done something TERRIBLY BAD to deserve this kind of treatment. This is a result of age long hypnotization and mass brain wash by the feminists to lead into the whole world believing that women are VICTIMS for no fault of theirs and men are PERPETRATORS of violence without rhyme and reason. With such a one – sided ubiquitously stereotypic mentality prevailing world over and especially within and amongst the legislative and executive machinery, it becomes almost next to impossible for the MAN to prove his innocence, in spite of the fact that he possesses evidences to support his claim otherwise. Such an atmosphere can have wide and varied effects. We shall study those under two categories.

Men who have not yet fathered their offspring: -

For these men, the story is relatively simpler since they do not have the emotional kickback of a child. Also the fact that they have been saved from fathering a new born from a devilish woman gives much solace to them which can transform into the much needed courage to ensue the ever – impending fight. But depending on individuality and circumstances, these FALSE CASES can either kill the manhood or give it a push. Moreover men falsely implicated in such cases seem to lose faith in the institution of marriage completely, especially if the marriage is less than a year old before the case is filed. Such euphoria in the society can lead to severe and irrevocable deterioration of the trust and faith on marriage, the institution which has been the foundation of family life since time immemorial. It is not only those men who are themselves directly involved in such cases but also other unmarried men around such men like their younger brothers, first cousins and close friends who watch the MAN go through the abuse, tend to loose the confidence on MARRIAGE, and refrain from tying the knot. They tend to develop a sense of insecurity getting married as they see rendering themselves liable to be made easy scapegoats of this LEGAL TERRORISM. Moreover they don’t really need to get married to be embroiled in the abuse, as any of their brother’s or cousin’s or for that matter any friends’ wife can also drag them into a false case saying these men were hand in gloves with her husband in ‘torturing her for dowry’.

This view holding true for men who resolve to fight the misuse, we will now see the effects of such a false case on the MAN who gives in to the misuse and either accepts the DEMANDS of the girl or settles for money. Such men not only loose their self-esteem and sense of manhood, leading the life of a henpecked husband but also carry the self-remorse and guilt of setting a bad example and contributing to the spread of misuse indirectly. Whereas the blame for such a conduct on part of the MAN cannot be directly attributed to him as has been already iterated that - “in majority of the cases, the metamorphosis of a happily married man to a legal fighter dies prematurely and the matter ends with a monetary compromise” – the reasons for the death of the metamorphosis is another big topic over which volumes of analysis can be represented. For now we look into the effects of the death of the metamorphosis. And such a man who has conceded to the demands, and has not yet fathered an offspring, when actually does so, cannot set an example of a brave MAN and the offspring shall grow up to see a henpecked man and will carry the traits as such. If she is a girl, she will expect her prospective husband also to be such and if he is a boy, he will realize this as a way of life. So we see a wrong trend being set in the society where giving in to the wife’s illogical demands is considered LIBERATION of WOMEN and not doing so results in her HARASSMENT for which we have the law called IPC 498A, and thus a vicious circle is created wherein the misuse self-feeds itself and grows to be a self-nourished monster devouring the demographics and essences of a sane and awake society.

Another ill-effect of such a false case is the wreckage and deterioration of the intellectual property of the country. It has been observed as a norm that these cases are filed to extort money from high earning people in the corporate world especially the software industry which consists of people having an elevated and sharpened intellect and a relatively higher IQ. Also such cases are filed within 5 years of marriage which means that the MAN is either in his late twenties or early thirties which is a very critical juncture of his career. Embroiling young people for an average of 5 – 7 years in such false cases, where conviction can lead to complete ruin of an illustrious career, can be a dealing and yielding blow to the intellectual property, as the man will spend his time, money and energy towards saving his skin from a stereotypically biased system which has refused to move ahead with times. The investments, read time, money and energy, that the man would have otherwise spent on more useful means is now being forced to be wasted to salvage oneself from an effort to ruin the life of the man in particular and society in general.

These were some of the effects and consequences that a false case can have on the people around and the actual victim, the MAN involved in it. Though they cater in general to men whether fathers or not, we will now proceed to look into the same for fathers in particular.

Men who have fathered their offspring: -

The battle is tougher for these people. For, in addition to fight against the legal system and prove themselves innocent for an offense they did not commit, they also need to muster courage to fight against one more thing, the natural emotion of fatherhood as these unfortunate men are deprived of the time they deserve with their children not only by their vindictive wives but also by the judicial system. Long live the Indian Judicial System, which still believes that only mothers can take better care of children and also force the fathers to stay away from their offspring. The judiciary neither believes in shared and joint parenting nor contesting the case on merits. And the brunt of the fallacy is borne by those fathers who not only carry the false sense of guilt of a crime NOT committed, but also have to kill their fatherhood for feeding a marriage devouring monster called the FALSE DOWRY CASE.

There have been umpteen number of instances wherein the fathers are not only blackmailed in the name of their children but also are forced to compromise for the well-being of the child and in spite of the compromise being undertaken, the men are deprived of their child’s love. And in such cases it is not only the men who suffer, innocent silent sufferer’s cries go unheard who are not only unaware of the system, but also suffer at the hands of a vindictive woman who uses the child as a bargain tool to get her illegal way out legally. And the saddest part of the whole bitter truth is that the whole drama is passed off in the legislative atmosphere as WOMEN LIBERATION and EMPOWERMENT OF THE WEAKER SEX.

Sometimes MEN are just threatened of false cases to be lodged against them in case they make an attempt to meet their children. The Indian Penal Code has provided for visitation rights to Men to meet their children, who are separated from their spouses, but it is a long legal battle for the men before they get visitation rights which is again just for a couple of hours on weekends and that too mostly in the court premises where the MEN are not even allowed to bring anything for their children. If they make an attempt to increase meeting hours of visitation they are again threatened with false cases. All this is a toll on the man already but these women and the system fail to notice and understand that how a child who is deprived of the parental love, that he / she not only deserves but also needs very much for a normal upbringing, develops deep and irrevocable mental scars in his / her early days which are lifelong and play major role in the development of the child’s personality and behavioral pattern.

It is not the only bitter fact that the child and the father are not allowed to meet, the time the child is with the mother, she brainwashes the child against the father. There have been cases where the child does not even recognize their own father and has designated them as UNCLES. The child will grow with a falsely imbibed and viciously superimposed sense of hatred and non – belonging towards his / her father and day the child becomes a father, in case the child is a male, will be non – responsive and indifferent towards his children for he as a child was only shown that a MAN is indifferent towards his children. He was never shown the suffering his FATHER went through in staying separate from his own prodigy for no fault on his part except for the fact that he was a responsible, loving and caring man.

These are just some of the consequences of a false case on the child, the MAN and his friends and relatives. There are many far – reaching consequences of such cases which will affect the social, familial, and the economic health of the Indian society in general and individuals in particular. All those who are right now patronizing this misuse and allowing it to spread in order to realize their ulterior motives of power hunger and political urge need to understand that they are slowly digging their own grave and there shall befall a day in their lives when there won’t be a single soul to cremate their rotten bodies. All those who are undergoing the misuse being its victims and are standing up to fight it shall turn out to be better human beings, who could turn an obstacle in their lives into an opportunity.

IPC 498A - The most draconian law

IPC 498A – The most draconian law ever framed and a provision of the Indian Penal Code highly misused till date has been conferred the honor of breaking Indian families all over the world. From a definition and layman point of view, it seems a very productive and needed law. It has defined HARASSMENT of the MARRIED WOMAN or any of her relatives, herein referred to as harassment, to meet any UNLAWFUL DEMAND by the husband and / or his relatives as a cognizable offence and if proved guilty under trial can lead to imprisonment up to 3 years and / or fine. But all is not said and done with this law. There are gory loopholes in its definition, interpretation and implementation which can have far-reaching consequences legally, ethically, morally, emotionally, socially which are detrimental to the very existence of this society, whose welfare was upheld as the basis in the framing of such a draconian provision. Sounds, strange, ironical, but is surprisingly true as well. Let us have a look at how the law qualifies itself to be placed under the contentious category of DRACONIAN LAWS. We shall start with its definition and loopholes in this article and end with its consequences in the sequel to this one. Remain hooked to this space.

IPC 498A describes the harassment as a

1) Non - Bailable
2) Cognizable
3) Non Compoundable

offence. Now let us have a look into the details of the above terms. The problems with the above aspects of IPC 498A shall be dealt with shortly.

1) Non – Bailable: As soon as the case is made prima – facie, the accused shall be arrested and kept in judicial custody and bail will be given only by a 1^st class metropolitan magistrate, which shall be at the discretion of the magistrate, who shall have the powers to look into the case and decide thereupon.

2) Cognizable: The accused shall be presumed GUILTY until PROVEN INNOCENT. It also puts the burden of proof to innocence on the accused, i.e., if someone has been accused of the UNLAWFUL DEMAND, as described above shall need to prove that such a demand HAS NOT BEEN MADE for acquittal. It also gives the power of arrest to the police without any arrest warrant, who can arrest the accused, if necessary, after proper investigation.

3) Non Compoundable: The complaint, of such a nature, leading to an offence under IPC 498A once made cannot be taken back by the complainant.

Having described the marketable features of this law, we will now proceed to study the loopholes contained therein. But before that let us see, how one can make a case under this law. All it needs is a written / verbal complaint from the MARRIED WOMAN or any of her relatives or any other person on her behalf or any Govt. recognized NGO to the local police against the in – laws of the MARRIED WOMAN. The FIR will be registered by the police after necessary investigation by the police and once the FIR is registered the accused will be required to be arrested and produced before the jurisdictional magistrate within 24 hours.

No where does the law define any provision for verifying the tenacity and genuinity of the complaint made or its nature, nor does it say anything about the penalty of filing a false case under this section and getting innocents arrested and unleashing a mayhem of mental torture on them. These two aspects compounded with the above definitive aspects of this law are the prime deciding factors which have been contributing to its wide and rampant misuse by unscrupulous people looking for an opportunity to make a cut by falsely implicating innocents and bargaining with them for money or other demands.

As it is very easy to file a case under this section, and very hard for the accused to get a bail or avoid the case being filed against them without acceding to the demands of the complainant and all the more hard to get the accused convicted given the loose interpretive definition of a plethora of terms in its definition, the most feasible route to use this law to ones criminalist advantages is to file a false complaint against husband and in – laws and get them arrested and fake a physical injury to deny bail to the accused in order to break them down morally and spiritually so that the fear of a trial in spite of being innocent, subsequent potential conviction and the killing fear of social ostracism drives them to a compromise and then the case is quashed, or settled out of the court. This seemingly lucrative possibility of the out of the court settlement, ending in a monetary transaction from the righteous to the not so righteous, is the most attractive bonanza acting as the lifeblood of the virus called FALSE DOWRY CASE which gives unscrupulous and anti – family elements to get their way ahead legally and be termed as a COMPLAINANT and HARASSED and COMPENSATED after the monetary settlement is executed.

We will now examine the loopholes in this law which has led to such a wide magnitude of misuse of this law spanning geographies, Diaspora and time zones as has been corroborated by statistics and figures by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) which show that 98 % of the cases are false and yet every four minutes a husband is arrested, every day an innocent child is arrested and every three hours a senior citizen is thrust unto jail under this section.

1) Case gets registered on a mere complaint. Nowadays it is not very uncommon that girls are forced to marry by their parents to well settled, nicely educated, high profile, wonderfully placed, money minting ATM machines, and these parents of the girls also spend lavishly in the marriage viewing it from a ROI (Returns on Investments) point of view. No sooner after the marriage the girl realizes that she is no longer happy in the marriage because the DREAMS she was shown prior to the marriage by her parents (often to convince her for the marriage) are mere DREAMS never meant to be realized, she starts complaining and the girls’ parents too think it as an opportunity knocking and start planning a case against the guy and his family. This sets the background for the case which gets registered sooner or later on a mere complaint. Since the innocent guy is busy shredding his perspiration giving his best shot at keeping his ATM machine full, he is caught totally unaware when the disaster strikes, let alone his parents who might not have dreamed such an ordeal even in the wildest of their nightmares, and in majority of the cases, the metamorphosis of a happily married man to a legal fighter dies prematurely and the matter ends with a monetary compromise.

2) As a monetary settlement is a very easy way out, even the executors of the legislative and the executive machinery in the law and order scenario, eyeing an opportunity in the available CUT, this misuse is patronized by them leading to its legalization under the false paradoxical sugar coated veil of WOMAN EMPOWERMENT and LIBERATION OF WOMEN. Also the Apex Court has now named this ongoing misuse as LEGAL TERRORISM.

3) Long live the Indian Legal System (still living in the dark ages), cases remain pending for years and are not settled, so the outcome of the trial happens like one in a million, hence conviction being next to impossible, the girls’ side in tandem with the legislative and executive machinery squeeze out the juice from the Man’s purse and have a field day.

4) The reason for initiating such a case as explained in the first point is just one of the many reasons leading to filing of such cases. There can be umpteen number of such reasons like, adultery, extra – marital affair, unwanted pregnancy, incestuous relationship of the girl with some of her family member, unexplained desire for no interference and financial control, extreme greed, leveling of petty marital discords under the devilish influence of false ego, pre-marital undisclosed mental disorders like Bipolar Disease, Borderline Personality Disorder, Delusional Disorder, Extreme mood swings to name a few. Under such scenarios it becomes very handy for the girls and their families to file a FALSE DOWRY CASE and get out of the marriage having made an obnoxious and inauspicious fortune.

5) But whatever be the reason, the undue sentimental balance of the legislative and executive machinery towards a particular class of women, the ease with which the case can be filed, the ease with which, on the basis of mere complaint of a lady, whose character and integrity remains to be questioned, one whole family ranging from small innocent children to pregnant sisters to aged, dependent and ailing parents are held at ransom and made to undergo unprecedented and uncalled for fury, wrath, torture, harassment, humiliation, character assassination, and many more atrocities, is also one of the major contributing factors to the spread of this family breaking disease called FALSE DOWRY CASE.

6) When we are small, we are taught many things by our parents, and other elders in the family. And sometimes it becomes necessary that we are punished as well to ensure that certain forbidden actions are never repeated nor a habit is made out of them. But as they say, TRUTH is STRANGER than FICTION, there is no, absolutely no punishment for filing a FALSE DOWRY CASE committing a crime of such a heinous nature. Rather, on the contrary, our honorable ministers are passing away the misuse falsely as a minor percentage and citing, “Mistake of facts” as the reason for the MINOR MISUSE they say is happening around. Will be covering more on the “Mistake of facts” syndrome in the sequel. This absence of punishment for alleging abuse falsely is the next major factor breast – feeding the monster called FALSE DOWRY CASE. The girls’ side very well knows that they have nothing to loose absolutely and hence they are all the more salivated to taste this piece of cake like a Labrador eyeing a bone.

7) On a brief note, the next reason lubricating the machinery of this racket of legal terrorism and legal extortion is the violation of the basic Human Rights Principle advocated by Amnesty International regarding the presumption of guilt on part of the accused. It says, the accused are to presumed INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY, while this law presumes GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.

These are just some of the loopholes explained in brief which have cumulatively led to the spread of this disease called FALSE DOWRY CASE. There can be many more such loopholes which I might have missed / overlooked. Rest remains to be seen are the consequences of this misuse which will be covered shortly in the next article arriving at the nearest explorer very soon. Keep watching this space.

The Horse Trading

The SHO starts yelling at the Virag and his parents. They feel so helpless and suffocated. They are eagerly waiting for their lawyer and relatives to turn up. Meanwhile Virag has already informed Shankar uncle about the police and all. He comforts him saying, “Face the situation bravely. You shall come out of it.”

SHO: “What do you think of yourself, you are harassing your wife for dowry?”

Virag: “No Sir, this is not true. There is no dowry system in our community. And we have not demanded a single paisa from them. We have kept her very well. She has left on her own as she hates my parents and wants me to abandon them.

SHO: “Do not speak in front of me, go out and sit there.”

Dejected and tense, Virag comes out and sits on the bench. His parents are equally tensed. Just then his lawyers and relatives arrive. They feel a little better. Rishi comforts him, not to worry. He and his colleague talk to the police and they demand 12 lacs to settle the case.

Rishi: “What is your take?”
Virag: “I have not done anything; I am not going to give a single paisa. This is our hard-earned money; it is not going to these unscrupulous and non-deserving people just on the pretext of these nonsense and draconian laws. By the way, what are the odds that I do not pay?”
Rishi: “They will lodge a 498A complaint against you and your parents and all three will be immediately arrested. I will try to get your parents bailed out tomorrow on health and age grounds, your bail might take two more days. At max, you can say, 4 days, not more than that.”

Virag looks wary.
Rishi: “Take your time, there is no hurry, think about your options and then decide.”

Virag talks to his parents. They were scared and wanted to get out of the mess soon, even by paying. Virag is stubborn, does not agree. He reasons, that if we give up so early, these people will again come up with new demands. What is the guarantee, that we agree to pay now, what they want and they will not harass us again.

Virag: “They will get this as an easy tool of extortion. I have talked to Rishi, he will get us bailed. Also once jailed all there options will go then. But if we budge now and avoid arrest, we will give them more weapons to attack.”

Virag’s parents understood he was right. But still they hoped something might work out.

Virag: “See papa, they are demanding 12 lacs. Worst come worst, even if I fight them in court the whole of my life, the expenses will be a fraction of 12 lacs. Rest we have to decide.”

Virag currently was forging strength. Heart in heart he was sinking. There were so many things he had to handle, but he had never learned to break down in front of his parents. His strength made them proud, and this made him happy. Seeing him not breaking down, they also get strength and get ready to fight. Just then his cell starts ringing. It was his client’s call from US. Virag gets tensed. What to tell him? Can’t ignore his call.

Virag: “Hello.”
Client: “Hey Virag, can we start?”
Virag: “I am extremely sorry, I have entangled in some serious personal issues, and can we take this call later. I am again very sorry for having postponed it. Please give me some time.”

Virag’s voice conveys more than his words.

Client: “No problem. We will talk later.” The connection hangs up.

Virag: “Rishi, I am not ready to pay a single paisa. Let the law take its own course.”
Rishi conveys the same to the SHO. The case is registered and they are kept in custody. Viral and her parents leave the police station. The SHO while leaving the station shouts at Virag’s mother.

SHO: “You do not have a daughter, that is why you are treating her like this. I will expose you in the media.”

Now Virag understands as to why the SHO was not in a mood to listen to them and how was the case registered. He had been properly bribed and told what to SPEAK and what NOT TO LISTEN. He knows the system is flawed. There are gory loopholes open to widespread misuse. He thinks who is going to stop this LEGAL TERRORISM. The enemy has invaded into the families, the hearts, and the trust circle and it is very difficult to identify and deal with such an enemy.

His mom is taken by lady constable to the woman’s cell. Except for the SHO the other policemen, were well aware that the case is false, were sympathetic towards Virag and his parents. On Virag and his aunt’s request, they are allowed to sleep in the cabin (and not in the cell) with fan on and a sheet to cover.

January 26, 2008 Posted by readviru | Marria

The Arrest

Manager: “So how do you find the job here?”
Virag: “It is good. The atmosphere is nice, but at times I do feel that the challenge could have been more.”
Manager: “Hmmm, how do you feel so? The product and the domain, both are so vast, there is so much of learning involved. You can in fact, pick up a module and master it so that any one comes to me with an issue in that module, I can say the module man is Virag.”
Virag: “Yeah I do agree that there is indeed a lot of learning involved, and as you see since the past almost one year I have been working on this particular module and know it in and out. But what I feel that product knowledge is not an issue, it all depends on my zeal to learn, but I feel the lack of chance to learn the domain knowledge and business processes.”
Manager: “OK, I will keep this in mind and if anything comes up, shall keep you in loop.”
Virag: “OK Thanks.”

Some days later a customer project comes up. They had some issues with the product which needed to be solved at an urgent basis. The manager comes to Virag and tries to know if he’d be interested in taking up the project. Virag, seeing an opportunity to improve his communication skills and customer interaction tactics, takes up the project. Now he is i2 Technologies’ face to the customer. He is whole-n-sole responsible for the project. He works extra time to keep up to his standards since he was handling it alone and was handling it for the first time; the whole product was at his disposal. But he had the confidence to pull through. Also he had a KEY AWARD to his kitty to boost his morale for his work on his previous assignment. But one thing pulled him back and that was his marital problems. His estranged wife was trying to control him with the help of her parents. His in-laws were pressurizing him to abandon his aged and dependent parents so that they can interfere in his daily matters and get a grab of his financial control. He was slowly realizing it was a coy from their side to malign his parents’ reputation amongst his relatives, and putting a social pressure on him to succumb to their unjust demands. But Virag does not budge, and does not take a decision against his principles.

Meanwhile he was excelling in his project and was delivering a performance. The client had given him the liberty to call at anytime he had a doubt and also used to arrange the calls according to Virag’s convenience, keeping in mind the time difference between India and the US of A. It was the 10^th September 2007, Monday as per IST, so Monday morning being a Sunday evening for the client and as some serious discussion was involved the call was scheduled in the evening so it is Monday morning for the client. So Virag planned his work accordingly, patched it up by 7: 00 P.M. and reached home. Just he had parked his bike and reached for the elevator when a man approached him.

Man: “Are you Virag?”
Virag got a bit wary seeing the man’s appearance.
Virag: “Yes, why?”

The man flashes his identity card indicating that he was from the local PS. Virag froze. He understood, his wife had approached the police with a false complaint. Though he tries a bit to act as if he does not know what is happening. The man stopped him in the parking area and did not allow him to use him phone as well. Then swooped down the whole team. They were about six in number. Virag was made to sit inside the police van and told to wait. The security person informs his parents that he is being detained by the police. They rush downstairs.

Meanwhile Virag was now told that a dowry harassment complaint has been against him and his parents by his wife and her parents. Virag tries his level best to convince the police person that this complaint has no standing and he has evidence to prove his point, but he is not given any chance. When his mom arrives, he passes over his laptop and HIS CELL to her and tells her in Gujarati to inform Rishi (their lawyer). His mom takes away the laptop. And then calls up Rishi as well her sister, who stays across the town. Then the Station House Officer arrives. He insults Virag and his parents very badly and shouts at them and threatens them. Virag, as advised by Rishi, maintains his composure and tries to convince the SHO about the nullity of the case, but he had been bribed properly by Virag’s FIL, so he is in no mood to listen. All the three are taken to the police station on pretext of investigation.

Thanks a lot dear

A letter to my …… half (Will fill in the blanks with the right word at the end and readers will justify it.)

Thanks a lot my dear Viral. For readers who are not known to me, Viral is my beloved wife. She is a wonderful person, an awesome teacher, who used to give tuitions to school students before marriage, at least which was what I was told. And I used to think, what is it that she used to teach to her students. Now that I have learnt so many things from her, I cannot help but share my experience with you as you all have been so kind enough to tolerate the nonsense I have been blurting out so far.

Viral, my beloved wife taught me that life is not a bed of roses and it has thorns in it as well. Not only that, she proved that she was correct as I am now actually living with those thorns. Thanks a lot my dear for teaching the real meaning of life and being so brutally real to me. I was such a big fool, having married to you I was trying hard to convince myself that I have got a good and a matured life partner until you taught me that life can have some serious and unforeseen problems as well. And such deep is your love for me that you teach me everything with a real and a practical example. Thanks a lot dear for teaching me that women can be so bad that they tend to ruin the whole family. Thanks a lot dear for teaching me that when a woman (read a married woman) lies about her husband and her mother-in-law, adding spice to the dish with her crocodile tears (actually even a crocodile might shed actual tears knowing you are being described with the crocodile as an allegory), the society and the law happily believes her and starts consoling her and hangs the innocent husbands life on the gallows. Had you not filed a false dowry harassment case on me (again to teach me a lesson as I refused to desert my aged and dependent parents as per your wish) I would never learned that this case can be filed by any married woman and can also be filed even if dowry has never ever been taken or demanded, and this case can be used as threat weapon, a fear psychosis tool and a legal channel to extort money, so thanks for this knowledge as well dear.

Till so far I had just seen the jail in movies, but thanks to your false case and thanks to the Indian Legal System with its draconian laws(still living in the dark ages), I had a first hand experience of jail. Till so far I had thought only bad people used to stay in jail, but surprisingly enough I found many good people there and also got unexpected help from them, so dear, thanks for this enlightenment. I will indebted to you my darling for this. Thanks to you, I got to know who are my real friends and who are not, for when you made my parents’ and my life a hell, I had my friends to fall back upon and they stood beside me like a pillar. My innumerable thanks go to Anju Masi, Pradeep Masa, Ashok Uncle, Ravi, Bharat, Priyanka, Subhadra, and Harshini and how can I not mention Shankar Uncle (Subhadra’s father). And my special thanks go to Ishwinder; your mental support means a lot to me brother. You remember you used to tell me, “Darling, I will always be there for you.” I laugh it off today, for when you chose to walk out of my life, none of the above people told me, “Virag, I will be there for you.” They just came and stood there and did their bit, whatever they could. So once again thanks to you I could know so many nice people. And my real and sincere thanks go to these people. And my dear Viral, you very well know the smell (read odor) of the thanks I have been showering on you hitherto and shall continue to shower henceforth.

Today is 10^th December, we finish a quarter today, when I was tagged a criminal for an offence I did not commit. We also had a court date today. I find it so strange that when we had a nice 2 BHK flat, what made you choose the court as a place for dates. Thanks again for suggesting such a romantic place to meet, but this is not fair, as you call me there and do not come yourself. Sweetie, I will see to it that you come there and we have a nice time together. This is my promise to you, when you have given me so much it’s my duty; I am your MAN as per the law, so I have to return you whatever I get from you. Also the law, where it happily defines the “Natural Duties” of a MAN, it does not define any for the WOMAN. Now I know why sadistic females like you always crib of gender inequality. Anyways let’s celebrate the first quarter happily. So today was the court date. As expected I was at the court by 11, time when the court starts. I had a meeting in my office in two sessions, 12 – 1 and 1 – 2. I somehow convinced my manager for the first half, and told him that I will be there for the second half. But courts work at their own times. So I was sitting in the court, and we were waiting for the case to turn up.

My mom started complaining of back pain. Thanks to you again as now I know the posture which causes pain to her and will see to it that she does not take that posture again. Then I was feeling hungry so I went out and had some fruits. It was a mixed fruits plate and there was papaya in it. I hate that fruit, but my hatred for you was so deep that I ate that fruit (albeit unknowingly) and later realized that I had eaten papaya. So thanks once again dear, my mom gave up trying to teach me eat papaya (thanks to my stupid stubbornness I never learned to eat it), but see today I ate it and I liked it as well as now nothing tastes horrible than you, for you, as a life partner you have given me only bitterness and left no stone unturned in making my life horrible. When we were together, your bitterness was sugar coated with your false flattery and apple-polishing love gestures and now your bitterness is shameless like you as it comes naked to me. So thanks once again for removing that false paradoxical veil of sugar-coat.

Lunch time happened and then we had lunch at 2: 30 pm. We had white flour paratha. My father developed indigestion due to that. Thanks for the enlightenment, now I know where I have to be careful about my dad’s food. We had tea after that, there my dad told that the tea was laced with color (thanks to his 30 years of experience in the tea industry), so thanks again as I know now how does a color laced tea taste like and look like and I should not be happy that I am getting an economical tea. I was getting late for the office meeting. I finally told my teammate Bharat to handle the situation; he assured me he will do so. So thanks again as I know I can rely on him. After reaching office I met my manager and apprised him of my situation and he told me that he had managed it without me in the meeting. So thanks once again dear as I know my manager understands me and supports me. Venu, thanks (a real one) for this to you as well. And as you see I have been thanking, thanking and thanking in this post, thanking to you for the lessons you taught me in life and thanking others who were there with me when I found the lessons out of syllabus, so I will end this series with a last note of thanks to Rishi and Parvez (my lawyers).

And now I fill in the blanks, A letter to my bitter half.

It is up to the readers to justify why do I consider her as my bitter half, in spite of the lessons she taught me.

Thanks once again dear. I am indebted to you and this is a promise to you from your MAN as per the law and from a real spine-full MAN that I will repay your loan.

Reconcilliation

Marriage as an institution has always been highly placed in the Indian sociological scenario. It has been always been seen as the first step towards settled life and laying the foundation of family. But as they say, “All human troubles start from the inability to sit quietly in a room,” this so called sacred institution has its own dark side. Where, on one hand, marriage provides a platform to two individuals coming from totally different backgrounds and albeit different mindsets to come together, understand each other and be each others support in life, financially, morally, spiritually, emotionally and physically, it has its own uninvited share of problems. The most talked of and debatable of the problems associated with marriage is DOWRY. Sometimes the girls’ family give dowry as a pre-assumption that the boys’ family shall keep the girl happy and sometimes it is seen from the boys side as compensation to take care of the girl. With increasing reports from the media about the torture meted out to the Indian Daughter-in-law about dowry harassment and deaths due to it, the Govt. of India formulated the Dowry Prohibition Act in 1961 and introduced Section 498A in the Indian Penal Code in the year 1983, wherein harassment of the ‘wife’ for dowry was named as a criminal offence and extremely strict measures were provided within its ambit to protect the ‘Married Woman’ from the clutches of money-hungry dowry demanders. It just required a written unverified complaint from the girl or any relative on behalf of the girl to file a criminal case against the ‘HUSBAND’ and his family members and they would be arrested immediately and sent to judicial custody until either they were bailed out or chargesheeted and trial ensued. But it was a very big catch there, since the provision gave the police discretionary powers of arrest, and that too on an unverified complaint, as also filing a false complaint under this offense and leveling false accusations against the HUSBAND and his family did not attract any punishment on the girl or her parents, a lot of false complaints have started pouring in.

The police have a field day as they get a golden chance to make money from both sides for settling the dispute and the girls’ side get an upper hand as they can now extort money from the husbands’ family using the criminal case, the fear of police, arrest, and social stigma associated with jail as a weapon. Cases where money is not a prime concern, such a false case has been used by the girls’ side to get their unjust demands conceded, like staying separate from the boys’ parents, siphon boys’ hard earned money to girls’ parents if the boy is rich / well to do, or to end a relationship where the ‘expectations’ of the girl were not met, or to break a marriage to marry someone else whom the girl is in love with, or to get custody of children, and a plethora of such reasons. But it is not always the girls’ side that has to be blamed, many a times it has been found that the girls and their family have been ill-advised and misguided by unscrupulous and insincere lawyers who are out to make their own money. There have been cases where the judges also force the boy to compromise. And in such cases and many more, the girls repent for having taken such a step and they hope for reconciliation and want to arrive at a compromise. And so we have the next obvious big question, “What should the man do, reconcile or not with a wife who has a filed a false case of dowry harassment?” So we will take a peek at that possibility, its chances of occurrence and possible / fearful repercussions.

If the boy decided to take the girl back, then on one side it looks like a marriage has been saved and both of them have given a second thought to the relationship despite considerable differences and this shall highlight the importance of the institution of marriage as also shall throw light on the necessity of tolerance, acceptance and adjustment to make a relation work. Also it shall save the courts from being overburdened with another case and both the families from the headache of another marriage. In case the couple had children, they would be spared the tragedy of a single parent, as for a successful upbringing the child needs both the parents as has been corroborated by a study in US that children brought up by single mom have a increasing tendency and majority of them turning out to be criminals when they grow up. It will also set an example to others about how a relation can be saved.

Having said that, let us have a look at the other side of the coin. It has to kept in mind that the dowry case is false and the allegations has been fabricated and a severe breach of trust has been committed by the ‘wife’, leading to severe deterioration of the economical, emotional, and reputational health of the HUSBAND and his family. If a woman can walk into the police station and levy false accusations on the husband and forces him to concede to her ‘DEMAN DS’ deemed as ‘JUST’ by an explanation sounding logic to her ears, taking undue advantage of a law that has been made to protect the ‘WEAKER’ women, this thought of bringing such a woman back into one’s life shall invite justifiable contention. When already she has crossed the line, what is the guarantee that she will not cross it again or she will not cross it again with a larger fury? The first time she filed the complaint in a fit of immaturity and had not done her homework properly and therefore could not get what she wanted and thus offers the bait of compromise to be able to enter the house again and plan a proper route to jail for her husband and her in-laws. She will collect evidence in her favor, humiliate in-laws and instigate them to create a scene of violence, for when a woman gets vindictive she gets very dangerous and ruins everyone around her, including self. She can forge drama that there has been attempt to her life and limb by any means like, cutting her hands, or setting her sari on fire and dousing it and portraying it as act to murder her and all she has to do is to utter the word, ‘DOWRY’ in front of the police and the in-laws are behind bars and in deep shit, even if they are innocent and the woman shall have the power to make them dance at her whims and fancies.

Bringing her back, would also empower her by granting access to your possessions (financial instruments, emotions, attachments) to a serpentine creature, who can misuse them to the core. It will set a bad example in a society encouraging other women to resort to such tactics and rule their husband’s life and family. We need to keep in mind that no law can run a household and once the petty marital discords have been shaded legally, the relationship has been murdered in all practical aspects and it is just a matter of time before it is dead on paper. Even if the couple has children and they reconcile for the children, it will be very hard for the couple to stay peacefully, the grudge shall always remain, howsoever the husband is mature and understanding and those children shall always see their parents fighting and will fail to develop faith in the institution of marriage. Expectations should have a limit. If the woman expects that she will keep dancing and choreographing her husband’s and in-laws’ movements and ultimately when she fails, she should be forgiven and provided one more chance, then it has to borne in mind that the MAN had been tagged a criminal for no fault of his and he and his family has gone through a stage of tremendous trauma, stress and unwanted, unforeseen and uninvited hardships, all thanks to the false complaint filed by the wife. It involves monetary loss (perhaps recoverable), emotional draining (irrecoverable and leaves incurable mental scars), reputational assassination (recoverable only to a certain extent, and that too depends on how the individual handles it and perceives it). There has to be accountability for such huge losses and inflictions and effective means to curb such a menace.

With this note, I leave it to the readers to decide whether they would like to reconcile and die a death every day or fight back the menace, contribute their bit to create awareness and save other families and emerge an overall winner in life. I will end this article with a final analogy. A wife who has filed a false criminal case on her husband to settle petty scores and money extortion can be compared with this situation. Imagine someone stuck badly in city traffic and has an urgent nature’s call to attend to and at the same time feeling thirsty and wants to have water. The water that was present in the body has been marked as waste and he needs to get rid of it and at the same time he needs some fresh water to quench his thirst. As long as the waste water remains in his body, he will feel uneasy and those toxins in the waste water shall start ruining his system slowly. He needs water, but cannot use the water present in his body; he has to get rid of it. The waste water is a wife who files such a case. In order to carry on in life properly, the man has to get rid of such a wife as soon as possible. The fresh water is new life for the man, the definition and demographics of which are context dependent and individual defined.

The Relation

Her mom had noticed the smile and the shine in her face. She was happy and grew wary at the same time. Time and again she had seen gory incidences of teenage couples splitting up on stupid issues and causing grave and at times irreparable losses to their lives, careers, mental peace and spiritual happiness. Being a relationships counselor such problems were a daily occurrence to her. But she knew Jahnavi, her daughter, her darling and her SON and was just waiting for the right moment to talk to her.

Jahnavi, on the other hand, was very happy. Her first date and that too with a moron. She was indeed happy, happy about the dinner, Pooja’s background, and more importantly, Jignesh’s company. Such a sweet memory. Little did the poor soul know what awaited her? Our hero, Jignesh was also no less ecstatic. He had been waiting for this meeting since ages he felt. He seemed like travelling in a desert, alone, tired, worn out, thirsty and suddenly cited an oasis and later reveled to know that it was not a mirage, it was an actual water body which not only quenched his thirst, but rejuvenated him for the arduous journey ahead.

In the morning she got up, got ready and went to the breakfast table. Her mom had been waiting for her.
Mom: “Hi sweetheart, how is my darling doing?”
She smiles, her mother was like her world to her, as her father was busy with his business he did not get much time to devote to family except for on holidays, if he is not travelling.
Jahnavi: “I am fine mom.”
Mom: “So how was the party yesterday?”

Jahnavi forgot she had put up an excuse of going to a classmate’s birthday party. Though her mom was not very supportive of the modern urban fast life, she never was too strict and had given Jahnavi her own space and freedom to blossom and prosper, so she was not very inquisitive about who the friend is and other informative details. So when Jahnavi told her about the party she was not very enquiring. But now, Jahnavi had forgotten about the excuse, she was still lost in the reverie of the DINNER.

Jahnavi: “Oh it was fantastic mom.”
Mom: “So how old have your friend turned up?”
Jahnavi: “Which friend?”

She froze. Immediately she realized the blunder she had just committed and was not sure whether her mom had actually caught her or not. She had. But she was a better player than her daughter. Jahnavi tried some damage control.
Jahnavi: “Mom we did not want to embarrass her on her day, so just did not ask. I am done with breakfast. Getting late, have to rush. See you in the evening.”

She gasped for breath. She cursed herself for being so involved in Jignesh’s thought that she did not realize goofing up the whole thing. But she slowly recuperated that probably her mom has already caught her and wanted her to disclose. But she was not yet ready to disclose. She decided to postpone the matter. Right now she had only one thought on her mind, Jignesh. Oh really, not really, she had Pooja also in her mind. She felt like giving the girl a piece of her mind.

But then another thought crossed her mind and that was not so pleasant. Although Jignesh had expressed his pleasure to be in Jahnavi’s company and had also cared for her to call her from Delhi, she was yet not sure of his feelings for her and how seriously he considered this relationship, and moreover with Pooja being around she felt a little bit insecure as well. She treasured Jignesh very much and was not willing to lose on him.

Beep goes her cell. Jignesh’s text.
“Hi, where are you?”

The name of the sender was more than enough to make her smile, blush and flush at the same moment. She was again beaming. She replied.
“Coming, on the way. Learn to have some patience ” She was happy teasing him. But Jignesh was looking for her. Just when Pooja called him from the back.
Pooja: “Hi Jignesh, how are you?”

This was the least he had expected. Already he despised her presence as that used to remind him about his work being shared. Being the only child sharing came to him with a price. However, he composed himself to answer.

Jignesh: “I am fine. How are you?”
Pooja smiles.
Pooja: “I am fine.”
Jignesh: “I have some work. Will see you later.”

Hurriedly he left towards the library. Jahnavi had seen him leaving. She was wondering, what might be the nature of conversation between them and did Jignesh see her before leaving. She was not sure of this. Anyways she found herself drifting towards the library. Pooja was not sure as to why Jignesh avoided her. Being a smart and beautiful girl, she had never experienced boys avoiding her. This all the more aggravated her curiosity and wanted to know as to why Jignesh avoided her? Was there someone already in his life? Or was he doing all this just to make her beat around the bush for him? If there is someone already in his life, then this stupid fellow does not know, he is missing something not worth losing? These thoughts were enough for her to follow him. She knew it could only be one place where he was to be found – The Library. So she maneuvers herself towards the temple of knowledge. And she is aghast at what she sees. Jignesh talking to a girl. She could no longer stand it. She places herself in such a position wherein she can overhear the conversation without being noticed.

Jignesh and Jahnavi were busy in themselves bothering the least about others. They were talking, laughing and having a gala time together.

Jahnavi: “You know, I think mom has come to know that I did not attend a birthday party yesterday. She asked me the age of the friend and I was so engrossed in yesterday’s dinner that I just told, ‘Which friend’ and I immediately realized the blunder I had committed and ran from there.”

Jignesh was laughing his lungs out. Jahnavi saw him laughing in such a manner for the first time and fell all over for his laughter and so was falling Pooja. She could hardly stand Jahnavi there. Somehow he contained his laughter and spoke.

Jignesh: “I was also very restless since the evening. I just want to tell you Jahnavi, you looked awesome in that dress. I was just thinking about you ever since. Made a blunder at the breakfast table as well.”

The words made her day. I just want to tell you Jahnavi, you looked awesome in that dress. What more could she ask for? Had been waiting to hear this since ages. And now there was more she was waiting to hear, the blunder. She thought, it is high time he has not given a performance.

Jahnavi: “What happened in the morning?”
Jignesh: “Well, I was lost in the thoughts of the evening and was applying butter on the lid of the butter can, rather than the bread. I did not realize till my mom told, ‘Breads are yet soft my dear, do you mind concentrating on your breakfast.’ I just realized what had I been up to and just grinned. Then I left, saying I am still tired by the journey.”

Both of them were started laughing. Then they realized, they had been talking for quite some time and became conscious again. Slowly the laughter subsided and both of them gave each other a look with a smile. Amazon forest was already on fire; Pooja was burning seeing all this.

Jignesh: “I have some work in the library, I will see you later.”
Jahnavi: “OK, see you.”

Jignesh was now no longer alone. She was with him all the time. But now he was a bit tensed. He was in a dilemma. He was feeling good talking to her. More than that what was more enjoying today was his ability to tell her that he had liked her in the evening and also about his breakfast blunder. Slowly he realized, he was opening up to her. He found himself betraying his personality. He was surprised, how he could speak so much in front of Jahnavi. He realized he was changing. Whether the change was good for him was not known to him, but he definitely enjoyed in her company and was also feeling good telling her about his feelings.

Jahnavi, on the other hand, was engrossed in a plethora of thoughts. On one hand, she was at cloud nine for seeing a caring, sharing and sensitive Jignesh for the first time. She had been living to see this facet of his. But one thing definitely bothered her. And the most surprising aspect of this botheration was that she had confidence in Jignesh but not on herself and definitely not on Pooja. She knew it could be only a Hi-Hello meeting, but could not ask this to Jignesh. What if he is upset, what if he sees the lack of trust? Moreover she thought Jignesh would tell her by himself.

Pooja was restless by now. Whatever she heard, was least expected by her. She could never think even in her wildest dreams that a moron like Jignesh would have the guts and ability to woo a girl like Jahnavi for a dinner. All the while she was disturbed as to how it could possibly happen. Now she could very well relate those phone calls of Jignesh. Given his image, she thought he is calling his mother from Delhi, but now the revelation was uplifted. He used to talk to Jahnavi. She was feeling very dejected. She had been approached by guys many times, but she had liked none and nothing went beyond a little flirting. But she had liked Jignesh from day one and now she saw him being taken away by Jahnavi. She was in a fix, what to do.

The day got over and they met again at the coffee table and were lost once more. Pooja noticed them and walked away silently.

The Dinner

The plane touched down Mumbai airport at 6:00 PM. It had been a long flight for both Jignesh and Jahnavi. She was waiting for his call that he has arrived and then she wanted to tell him that she will be waiting for him at “The Paradise” hotel. Jignesh was silent in the whole flight, just sat closing his eyes, thinking about Jahnavi and wondering if she would agree for the dinner or not. Pooja noticed him deeply engrossed. She had tried to talk to him in the airport but he was not much entertaining, and so she thought, he was tired, but of late she was slowly realizing that he is deeply involved in some thoughts. Maybe someone. She guessed. And then ruled out the possibility, What bullshit, she thought. After finishing the airport formalities, the first thing Jignesh did was to call up Jahnavi.

He must have boarded the plane. He must have had his lunch properly. He must be talking to Pooja. She must be trying to talk more to him, as he will not talk. Idiot is a moron and will ever remain so. Stupid, Idiot, Donkey, Monkey, Fool. Did not even tell me about Pooja, or his paper, or its selection, or his trip. All he could tell about was Sid. Who wants to know about him?
Tring Tring.

And her cell blows away to glory. She sees the number and beams with joy.

Jignesh: “Hi, I am back. How are you?”
Jahnavi: “Oh Jignesh, I am fine, how was your journey?”
Jignesh: “Pretty well. What is your……?”

Just at that moment, Pooja motioned to him that she was leaving.

Jignesh: “Yeah, bye. See you later.”
Jahnavi: “What!!!”
Jignesh: “Hey nothing, I was just saying bye to Pooja. What is your plan in the evening? If you are free, we can meet up for dinner.”

Jahnavi was boiling. Already the thought of a girl with him since the past three days had disturbed her, and now to add fuel to the fire, he was bidding her bye-bye while talking to her. She felt like putting some excuse, but that would mean lying as she had been waiting for the dinner. She could not. She agreed.

Jahnavi: “I guess we can meet. Tell me where do you want me to meet?”
Jignesh: “Hotel Paradise, 7:30 PM? Sounds music?”

Jahnavi smiles and is taken aback at the same time. How did he know?
Jahnavi: “Sure, I will be there.”
Jignesh: “On time, I assume.”

Smiles and hangs up. Jahnavi was doubly surprised. Is this the same moron she had seen here? For the first time ever she had seen him in a little mischievous spirit and liked it very much. She wore light Pink Salwaar Kameez, put up slight lipstick (pink), a little lip gloss, a little eye shadow, a bit of mushkaara, a pinch of foundation, a small bindi, her watch, a yellowish-orange double shaded chunni, flats and started off. Jignesh put on a Black Shirt and Blue Denim, his watch, shoes and walked off taking his wallet with him. Both of them were very excited. Made some stupid cooked up story to account for not having dinner at home and set off to dash into each other.

It is 7: 30 PM. Jignesh is waiting. She lands up at 7: 45 PM. Jignesh is taken aback seeing her. He had never seen her so beautiful. He wanted to reprimand her for being 15 minutes late, but her beauty compensated for everything. He fell in love with her all over again and thanked Sid again.

Jahnavi: “Hi.” Her tone was soft and she was a bit nervous and shy.
Jignesh: “Hi.” His tone was full of romance and life. He felt like dancing with her.
Jignesh: “Ummm shall we?” He led the way. Both of them seated at a cozy corner 2 seater table.

Now both of them were in a fix. In spite of having a plethora of topics to talk upon, they were not sure, where to start, how to start, what to start? Jahnavi knew very well, today she needs to forget that she is a girl; she will have to take the lead, as the moron is a useless waste material with absolute purity. No mixture.

Jignesh: “You are looking very beautiful today. I could never imagine you can look so good.”

She melted. She was not prepared for this. Since the last two days she has been getting one after another surprises, some pleasant and some not so pleasant. She gathered herself and spoke.

Jahnavi: “Thanks.”

This was all she could say. She somehow wanted to start the topic of Pooja, how did he meet her? How did they become teammates? And most importantly, how close had they grown? But she was not feeling very comfortable; she could not understand the reason for it. Everything looked so nice. She was dining with him. She had also noticed the stare he was giving her. Not for a second could he remove his eyes off her. Also the glare and the warmth in his vision were not alien to her.

Jignesh, on the other hand, was totally oblivious to her objection regarding Pooja. He was more concerned regarding Sid, though he had a slight inkling, she has accepted it, as otherwise she would not have entertained his messages, call and dinner proposal. He too thought to start the topic but was somehow not feeling comfortable as he was stunned with her beauty today and was also aware that probably she is aware of this, but he knew things had to move forward.
Waiter: “Order, sir.”

Hurriedly they finished off giving him orders. It was just a necessary disturbance to them; none of them was interested in the menu. They were far too engrossed with things tastier than food, at least for today’s evening. She smiled. He basked in glory and gave slight grin. His dimples appeared. She felt awesome. Oh my God he is so cute and his dimples, I love them. She fell for his smile.

Jignesh: “Hey you know, we won the contest there.”

Jahnavi was jolted out. Aah, this stupid moron, what better can be expected of him? She thought. Now she had no other choice but to participate with him in the boring discussion. So she did.
Jahnavi: “Oh that is great. So where is my treat?”
Jignesh: “We have not met to discuss the agenda for our next meeting. This is the treat. And this is a special one for you. Only you.”

Jahnavi felt ridiculed at the stupid question of hers. And then Only you had made her evening, she did not need anything more.
Jahnavi: “Then you should be ideally celebrating that with Pooja; you see she worked with you on the project.”

Jignesh was surprised. He was not prepared for this. But life is not an easy test. He answered.

Jignesh: “Pooja? Well I never wanted to share my success with her. She is some relative of the principal and he had insisted me to take her. All work was mine. Had to include her at the last moment. Not only had to share credit with her, also had to explain to her the concept and then help her prepare for the presentation. That was the reason I could not even meet you on the day of leaving, as I was engaged in explaining my paper to her in the Library.”

Probably most of the questions bothering Jahnavi had been answered. This revelation also explained why Pooja was never mentioned to her, as there was no Pooja ever. She felt bad for cursing her Jiggu for this and cursed Pooja like hell. Later. She thought. But now she was happy. Not only that Jignesh had not concealed anything from her, but he was also unhappy that Pooja had been dropped on him. She felt bad for Jignesh as his credit was divided now and she also knew that Jignesh will never declare this in public that the paper was solely and entirely his efforts and Pooja had nothing to do with it.

Jignesh: “But this is just revealed to you. Even Sid is not aware of this. So be very careful. Everybody is under the impression that we worked independently and parallely on this and then clubbed at the behest of the principal.”
Jahnavi: “Don’t worry about it. No one will get to know the truth. I know it is harmful for you as well.”

Both of them were feeling better now. They talked about many things, the rest of the evening, whilst during the dinner and then the walk, post dinner. Jignesh dropped her home, bade her goodnight and left. Jahnavi kept watching him for a few minutes, when her mom jolted her out of the reverie.

Mom: “If your show is over, we might walk in.”
Jahnavi was shocked.
Jahnavi: “Yes mom.”
She ran straight into her room. It is time to talk to her now, her mom thought.

The Seminar and the call

Jignesh was preparing to leave for the airport when his cell beeped. He had got a message.

All the best, when is your presentation?

Jahnavi had wished him. He replied.

Thanks for the wishes. Reach there tonight. Presentation is in two stages. Tomorrow afternoon and the morning of the day after tomorrow.

Then he left for the airport and all this while he was just thinking about Jahnavi and realized how badly he missed her. He regretted for not getting a minute to talk to her throughout the day. He had really put in a lot to prepare his paper and had truly hoped and wished for his paper to be selected, but today when his paper was actually selected he was feeling more dejected for missing Jahnavi than feeling ecstatic for having achieved the feat. Now he wanted time to flyby and he could go and talk to Jahnavi.

On the other hand, the situation of Jahnavi was also no less perturbed as she was also missing Jignesh like anything. Though she was aware, there was a lot to be discussed between them, but these short messages meant a lot to her. She was surprisingly feeling much better than how she was feeling after just talking to Sid. And again beep goes her cell. Saakshi had texted.

Need some big help. Tell me what you can do.

Reading that, Jahnavi suddenly realized that she was going a bit slow in her studies, now that Jignesh is not around for three days, she can probably make it up by studying. Also she thought going over to Saakshi’s place she can study well, for Jignesh won’t let her study in her own room. He used to get very naughty inside the room. She loved it and despised at the same time. So she went over to her place and spent the night there only.

Next day was hell in college. Jignesh was not there in the college. She missed him at the breakfast table, during lunch break and all throughout the day. Similarly Jignesh too missed her in the breakfast. He told his project mate that he did not feel like having breakfast, but she insisted saying that they will sit through the presentations and required to be attentive as well, so they better eat something and go. Being an ardent student of biology, this was not Greek-Latin to Jignesh but he had other reasons for not having breakfast which he will not be able to explain to Pooja, his project-mate. Finally he had the breakfast thinking about Jahnavi and after that entered the hall where the presentations were going on and they sat through them, some were interesting, some were boring. Jignesh was struggling to concentrate. Their turn was to come up after lunch. After they finished their today’s part of the presentation, they headed towards the canteen to have tea.

Jignesh: “Hey you just order something; I will join you in a moment.”
Pooja: “OK.”

Tring Tring
She was so engrossed in Jignesh’s thoughts that she did not even bother to see who is calling and received the call dispassionately.

Jignesh: “Hi.”

Jahnavi could not believe her ears.

Jahnavi: “Jignesh!!!! Is that you?”
Jignesh: “Yeah it is me. How are you?”

Someone had injected life into her. Her face started beaming with happiness. Excitement overpowered her, poor girl, barely could she speak.

Jahnavi: “I am fine, how about you? How was the presentation? Did you have anything? Did you sleep properly?”

Jignesh smiled. The moment she would start showering so many questions he would understand that she is too happy and now he was also feeling so happy talking to her.

Jignesh: “Hey I am fine here. Presentation was good. We had lunch and now we will have tea. But I could not sleep properly as I was tensed about the presentation. You know I worked hard for it. Let us see how the second session goes tomorrow and then we have the results on the day after tomorrow and same evening we will leave.”

Jignesh was not feeling comfortable lying. He could not sleep as he was thinking about Jahnavi and was missing her. He had also thought of calling her, but discarded the idea.

Jahnavi: “Hmmm. You told me, ‘We had lunch and now we will have tea’. Do you mind elaborating on ‘we’?

Jignesh was confused, why she is asking like this.

Jignesh: “Oh that’s Pooja; we are jointly presenting the paper. I will hang up now. Call you later. Bye and take care.”
Jahnavi: “Bye.”

These revelations were disturbing to her. He is with Pooja there. And I was not even aware that Pooja has been his co-worker on this project. But so what, he remembered to call me. And I am sure there are many things he wants to tell me, just that we are not getting time.

The whirlwind of thoughts continued and the day passed. It is again lunch time the following day. Her cell goes ringing. This time she was sure about the caller. It looked like ages to her since she was waiting for this call.

Jahnavi: “Hello Jignesh, how are you?”

Jignesh sensed something. But he chose not to mention it now. Anyway he was apprehending a long talk with her on returning.

Jignesh: “Hey I am fine. You know the session was brilliant. We handled it so well. Today was the questionnaire round and we faced the brickbats in an awesome manner, to be honest. I am feeling great. Now I do not care about the final results. And how is your college going on?”
Jahnavi: “Nothing much here, just normal college life going on. But I am happy you had a great session there. What time will you reach here tomorrow?”

Jignesh had not ignored the eagerness in her voice and the anxiety with which she was waiting for him to return. He liked it and also did not want to keep her waiting for long.

Jignesh: “We have our flight at 3: 30 pm. So we should touch down Mumbai by evening I guess, if there are no delays in the flight. Hey listen tomorrow I have a packed schedule here and might not get time to call you. Can we meet for dinner?”

Somehow he had gathered all his strength to ask this question and this was the first time he was asking this to a girl and that too without consulting Sid. But then he thought, it is his life after all and Sid cannot take all decisions.

Jahnavi: “Why don’t you give me a call on reaching? Will plan accordingly.”
Jignesh: “OK, bye.”

As usual, he was confused again and the million dollar question making rounds in his mind was, Gosh, was it right on my part to ask her for dinner? We have yet not discussed Sid properly, anyways the arrow has departed from the quiver, cannot be undone. Will handle it on reaching Mumbai. He thought.

Why does he need to use words like WE, OUR? Can’t he say I have my flight at 3: 30 pm. Stupid, idiot. Wait let him come? He needs a good class. Thinking this she blushed and then smiled. Her face was again glowing with joy as Jignesh had asked for a dinner date. She could not believe Jignesh could do this, but was happy that he did and she was also feeling great as she had kept him in dark about her decision. Slowly she realized she loved teasing him. She could comprehend his situation, Will she, won’t she? And this question was really driving the nuts out of Jignesh. Pooja was busy summarizing the day with him but he was lost. Twice she shook him to jolt him out of the reverie. Felt like asking him, but something just stopped her. She liked him, but he had never shown any personal interest in her.

The Paper and the Message

Jignesh finished the studies and went home and the first thing he did was to put the cell phone on charging. His dead cell was regaining life and then pops a message. It was from Vodafone. You have 25 missed calls between 8:30 pm and 10:00 pm. Send GET as reply to the message to get the details. Jignesh was pleasantly surprised. He hurriedly replied GET to know the call details. He got a reply back and jumped to his feet knowing that Jahnavi had been frantically trying to contact him. He was feeling ecstatic, and at the same time grew wary of the situation for he was not sure as to why Jahnavi was trying to contact him. May be she was angry with him and as usual Jignesh was confused, but he knew he should not contact Sid this time as now the situation had to be handled as per Jignesh’s and Jahnavi’s understanding. He went to sleep and thought to take up the issue next morning in college.

Jahnavi, on the other hand, had set the Vodafone office on fire in her dreams. Exasperated, with her frantic efforts of trying to reach his cell, she went to sleep but sleep eluded her and then she realized that today she is disturbed as she wants to talk to him, and can talk to him, but is not able to because of technical and logistical constraints, how would it have been for Jignesh who might be so disturbed with the turnout of the day’s events and equally suffocating must have been those nights when he wanted to emote his feelings to her but could not due to some stupid limitations. She did not realize when she fell asleep thinking about her Jiggu.

When they reached college, the following morning, the same thoughts were making rounds in the minds of both. Jignesh was in a fix, whether he should go and talk to her and Jahnavi did not get a chance to speak to him. She spotted Jignesh during the lunch break, and walked straight towards him without wasting a second. But Lady Luck was smarter today. Just when she was about to reach him, a classmate took Jignesh along towards the principal’s cabin. Jahnavi cursed her like hell. She could no longer take the fate since morning, all she wanted was five minutes with Jignesh and she was not getting it.

The day ended and now she was looking for Jignesh, but he was nowhere to be found. She spotted Sid and asked him.

Jahnavi: “Hi Sid.”

Sid was not sure how to face her as he knew Jahnavi was aware now and he still did not know whether Jignesh and Jahnavi had talked or not. Somehow he managed himself and tried to act normal, as if he was not aware of yesterday’s development.

Sid: “Hey Jahnavi, what’s up? How was the day?”
Jahnavi: “Hey I am OK. Day was normal. Yet another day. By the way did you happen to spot Jignesh, I looked around for him, he is not to be seen anywhere.”
Sid: “Oh is it? Let me call him up.”

Jahnavi was so intrigued in looking for Jignesh around the college; she completely missed out calling him up. But it worked fine in a way for Jahnavi as now Sid’s call will be definitely answered; also Sid had noticed her eagerness to talk to Jignesh. This made Sid happy. Jignesh picks up the call.

Sid: “Where are you?”
Jignesh: “I am home, have to leave for Delhi, my paper on ‘Genetics: The unique presence of Mathematics in Biology’ has been selected for presentation at the “National Seminar of Combination Sciences”. The principal told me in the lunch break, so I came home, will be leaving in half an hour. If you see Jahnavi, just inform her as I will not be in a position to speak to her, you know.”
Sid: “OK, bye. But when will you be back?”
Jignesh: “3 days.”

They hung up. Sid apprised Jahnavi of the situation. She was shocked beyond limits. Jignesh did not even consider it necessary to tell her about the paper, his supposed journey and then today’s sudden travel. She was hurt very badly. She had not expected this.

Jahnavi: “Don’t you think he should have at least told me that he was supposed to travel. I just don’t understand why do you guys take everything for granted? So what he had taken your help in understanding a girl’s behavior and how to talk to a girl. He could have at least tried to talk to me after that. Like a fool I have been frantically trying to contact him since yesterday evening. Today also I did not get a chance to speak to him and now I come to know that HE has told you to INFORM me. FINE THEN, YOU also inform him that he is going to have a tough time when he comes back in cajoling me. And this time if he takes your help, he be better prepared for a tougher fight. God only knows why you morons carry useless brains with you when have to waste them just like your life.”

She left the place fuming. She was feeling bad for having blurted out so badly to Sid, but she too was human and had her own limitations. Sometimes enough actually meant ENOUGH to her. Sid, on the other hand, was in a fix now. Jahnavi knows it that Sid is now aware of yesterday’s happenings. He thought he should inform Jignesh about Jahnavi’s reaction, but he better keep mum till Jignesh presented his paper. But then he also thought, it will not be fair on Jahnavi’s part to keep her waiting till 4 days. Already she has tolerated a lot of nonsense from Jignesh. So he texts Jignesh asking him to drop a message to Jahnavi as she had been looking around.

Beep goes Jahnavi’ cell. She sees a message from Jignesh. It read:

Hey Jahnavi, I am so sorry I did not get a minute to inform you. Please grant me a couple of days, will take all your queries then. I hope you understand. Bye Jignesh.

Jahnavi knew Sid must have asked him to text, but she was happy receiving the message. She was waiting for his return eagerly.

The Rose and the Stem

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

Mary was in a fix. She loved Aditya very much and he too loved her and both of them had decided to tie the knot. But she had not told her father about it. Being motherless since childhood, her father meant her world to her. He had been both a mother and a father to her. Mary wanted both Aditya and her father Joseph, but the possibility looked remote as Joseph had a wish to get a good Christian husband for his daughter and it would be hard to convince him for Aditya, but Aditya was irresistible for Mary. She could no longer take the guilt of having let down her father for falling for a man outside Christianity, as Joseph had always boasted about Mary’s principles in the community. She decides to confess and heads towards the church. Her mind is set on fire, a tsunami raging in her breaths; she is racing through the Saint Anthony’s Church and finally reaches the confession box. She looked around the walls of the confession chamber, they seem to be cursing her you have befallen yourself in your father’s esteem; they seemed to be telling her. The walls seemed enclosing her and she was getting drowned in her own self-remorse and guilt and from inside her conscience was biting her. She felt like running away from the confession box, when a voice soothed her down. Father John’s voice was like honey to an ailing patient.

Father: “Tell me my child, what pesters you?”
Mary: “Father I want to confess something, I have done something terrible. I can’t believe I could have done something like this.”
Father: “Relax my child, HE is very generous. Spell out your heart. HE is there, HE shall guide you.”
Mary: “Father, I lost my mother in childhood, I do not remember her face now. I was just 2 years old when she died in an accident. Since then my father has taken care of me and he has been a darling father any daughter could have. I have never felt the loss of my mom as he has been both a father and a mother.”

She stopped for a while. She had to gather strength to spell her heart out. The priest consoled her.

Father: “Do not worry my child, have faith on HIM. Tell me whatever you want to. I am sure HE will guide us.”

The words poured lifeblood into her suffocating soul. She regained strength.

Mary: “He always taught me values, principles, truthfulness and strong adherence to Christianity. He had also cherished a small wish to get me a good Christian Husband. But I love Aditya, Father. I love him very much and he too loves me very much and also respects my father’s wish a lot. Now I am confused how to convince my father about Aditya as I know he might agree if I act stubborn but he will be torn inside. But my love for Aditya is pure father. I am feeling so bad that I failed myself as a daughter.”

Her tears, breaking the dam of self-control, reflected the shadow of her pain and her agony. Father John tried to pacify her.

Father: “My child you are just in love. You have not done anything wrong. HE does not teach you just to love people from your religion nor does HE teaches you not to love people outside Christianity. HE is the messiah who is here to spread the message of love. You have not committed any SIN my dear child. Come out of the self-remorse and guilt. Love is a very great and pure feeling, my child, and it knows no boundaries in terms of caste, creed, religion and such man made human dividers. So please do not think you have not acted as per HIS wish.”

Mary was feeling a little better but still she was thinking as to why life had become so difficult for her.

Mary: “I know Father, I fully agree with you. But why is Life so difficult. I had taken it lightly; I was blindly following the fragrance of the rose and forgot that it has thorns as well.”

Father: “My child life is very much like a rose. It is beautiful, spreads fragrance and adds grandeur by its presence and is a symbol for the establishments of new relationships but it has thorns as well.”

Mary was listening dumbfounded. Father John continued.

Father: “The beauty, the fragrance et al of the rose is the happiness in our life and the thorns symbolize the unwanted grief in our life. So if you see the flower of rose, its beauty, fragrance and its thorns are always present. Similarly, happiness and grief are always present in life. We are so much astounded by the goodies of the rose that we tend to ignore the thorns until it pricks us when we take it in our hands carelessly. Same with life, we take life so easily that we tend to ignore the problems in life. Had we viewed the rose flower in its totality, taking into accounts its beauty as well its thorns, and had handled it carefully holding its stem properly, we could have enjoyed its beauty and at the same time escaped the pain of its thorns’ prick. Similarly if we take life seriously, and not ignore its problems and take into account the fact that problems and happiness are part and parcel of life and they just need to be handled properly. So now coming back to your problem all I can say is remove your guilt from yourself as you have just loved and that is no SIN my dear. Your father also loves you very much, tell your heart to him sincerely and he shall understand. Give him his time as he will be parting with his life’s savings.”

Mary: “Thank you very much Father, I shall remember your words. You have lightened my burden. Thank you so much Father.”

Father John gave a sweet smile and left from there.

A new and transformed Mary left the premises of the Saint Anthony’s Church that day. She was beaming with joy as she had learnt so many things today. Indeed problems and happiness are always present and we just need to handle it properly. Hold the stem at the proper place, enjoy the beauty and escape the thorns.

It is in the genes

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

First time readers, please refer to the post Life or Years? for reference.

Dr. Suresh was a veteran on psychology and had gained useful insights into the human psychology; his wonderful take on the subject was the result of his 25 years of experience in this field. Being an open minded person, everyday was a learning experience for him and he used to discuss his readings and observations with Dr. Amitesh. Today was no special. So they meet over the coffee.

Dr. Suresh: “So how are your ischiophagus conjoined parasitic twins?”
Dr. Amitesh: “It does not need to be that funny.”

The medical camaraderie between the two was marvelous. Amitesh was a cardiac surgeon while Suresh was a psychologist, yet both of them shared a common belief that the human anatomy works more on psychology than medicines.

Dr. Suresh: “I know, so where do we stand at their position, are we in a position to answer their relatives confidently?”
Dr. Amitesh: “Such occurrences are rare in our life.”
Amitesh grinned. Suresh agreed, Amitesh continued.
Dr. Amitesh: “Well here we are in a pretty sound position, we have been successfully instrumental in isolating the vital shared organs like, lungs, kidney, gall bladder and small intestine and restoring blood flow in them, but she is still in a critical condition, on incubator.
Dr. Suresh: “Hmmm, sounds sweet, hopefully success should follow after this.”
Dr. Amitesh: “What’s the situation at your end? How are the alters?”
Dr. Suresh: “Well, I have sent her on a vacation for now, we need to do a hypnotic session on her using Sodium Amytal and talk to her alters so that we can get to know, the causes behind their emergence and occurrence but for that Natasha will have to undergo a lot. Also if she admits that she has a problem and is ready for treatment, all the more easy. You know what, Amitesh, I envy you guys sometimes. The fine line between mine and your patients is that your patients come and tell you your problems and they are aware that there are some problems that need treatment. My patients have to be convinced first, in majority of cases, that there are some problems which need treatment. And once they are convinced about the illness, we have to convince them that it is curable and the cure largely lies with the patients. We need to be more patient than the patients and at times we ourselves feel like one.”
Dr. Suresh grins, Dr. Amitesh follows suit in agreement.
Dr. Amitesh: “I agree, Suresh. If a problem is physical, it’s easier to handle. Mental problems are very difficult to handle as they need evidences to be proven otherwise or vice-versa which may not be so handy in many cases, like cases of delusional disorders or hallucinations.”
Dr. Suresh: “It’s all in the mind and the genes you know.”

Now this startled Amitesh, the mention of genes jostled him.

Dr. Amitesh: “I beg to differ on your take on genes.”
Dr. Suresh gives a smile.
Dr. Suresh: “It’s all there in the genes. They are not just the blueprint of a person and a species but they are much more than that. They are carriers of information across generations. Whatever has been endured and experienced by the previous generation will be immunized in the current generation. Its nature’s rule, this is the way evolution works. You see these days we see more and more girls shedding the typical domestic engineer’s role and accepting challenges and working towards their empowerment and financial independence. We see more and more youngsters rebelling against their parents to take the career of their choice, to marry the person of their own choice and leading a life of their own choice.”
Dr. Amitesh: “I agree. But that should again work for a particular community or a person.”
Dr. Suresh: “We need to understand the genetic codes and its mechanism. My vast experience on psychology related cases and my own observations compelled me to dig deep into this. Genes work at various levels and dimensions like personal level, species level, chronological dimension, spatial dimension and of course at the intersection of the inheritance level and dimension. At a personal level, the genes as transferred evolve according to the experiences and the off springs are more developed and advanced. At a species level the change is very slow and the whole species over a span of multiple generations evolves to a better species with better survival strategies, for e.g. the mosquitoes, you see with the advancement of more and more techniques to control them, the species has also become immune to these repellants. And we need stronger repellants to drive them away effectively. This is genetic evolution.
Dr. Amitesh: “Interesting. Nice take on genes I agree. Also as we are expanding in urbanization and we see more and more people travelling and settling down in new places, a new trend is coming up. People from far off places are coming in touch with each other and when they get married and produce prodigies, this new generation has a far better intellect and grasping power. This again is a result of cross-breeding of various cultures and the intermixing of wide and varied and geographically spanned genetic historic recordings. And what do you think is the cause of the rise in psychological cases these days. On a lighter note this trend should entertain you, but how do you like to put it in terms of genes?”
Dr. Suresh: “As far as my bread and butter are concerned, I have had enoughJ, but this is an alarm. We are on the verge of a genetic revolution. It will be hard to put everything in words here, but I got a nice analogy from my son who is a Computer Science & Engineering student and was discussing that day with me an interesting problem. In their jargon they call it The Producers and the Consumers Problem.
Dr, Amitesh: “Wow I see the rivers of different knowledge domains mixing to give a sea of realization and information. So what have you deduced from The Producers and the Consumers Problem.
Dr. Suresh: “This problem simply says there is a producer that produces some entity and there is a consumer that consumes the entity and there is a buffer that maintains the gap between production and consumption. The producer produces the entity and places it in the buffer and the consumer consumes from that. Whenever the rate of production supersedes the rate of consumption we have the Buffer Overrun problem and whenever the rate of consumption surpasses the rate of production we have the Buffer Underrun problem. Both of these are fatal in appropriate scenarios and need to be handled effectively for their systems to run flawlessly.
Dr. Amitesh: “Nice.”
Dr. Suresh: “The relation between the genes and psychology is also similar. The tepidity with which the evolutions and the environmental conditions are changing, the genes are not able to respond properly and they start behaving abnormally and hence we see whatever we are witnessing. More delusional disorders, more hallucinations, more Near-Death-Experiences, more stress levels, more tensions, more blood pressure related problems, and in short more mental and hormonal disorders.
Dr. Amitesh: “True and it seems the solution is far lagging behind in the race as compared to the problems. But anyways had a nice discussion today though. Quite an enlightening one. I will have to leave now, let’s see how are the twins doing? Catch you up later.”
Dr. Suresh: “Yeah sure, carry on.”

The Trust and the Faith

All the characters referred to in the below blog are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

For first time readers, please refer to the post, “The Revelation” for continuity.

Jignesh was moving faster than his heartbeats. Having confessed to her, now he was feeling very light, realizing the fact that now Jahnavi knew the reality and will not have a false image of him. Truth always gave him the strength to endure, but the fact remained that he had to endure separation from Jahnavi as well. He was feeling very heavy, he called up Sid.

Tring Tring.
Sid’s cell rings. For the first time, Sid was not sure, why did Jignesh call up at this hour.

Sid: “Hello.”
Jignesh: “Hey what’s up buddy, where are you?”
Sid: “I will be home in another five minutes. Tell me what’s the matter, you sound a bit wary, everything’s fine I guess.”
Jignesh: “Yeah, can we meet for studies today?”
Sid: “Why not, come over?”
Jignesh: “OK, I will be there by 8 pm.”
Sid: “OK, we will have dinner together, I will tell mom. Will be waiting. Bye.”
Jignesh: “Bye.”

Jahnavi, on the other hand, was revering the fact that Jignesh confessed to her and now she knew many things. Even though she knew he was not a real moron, yet she had found something fishy in his behavior while performing a debacle and while covering it up. There were debatable trends of questionable variety in his behavioral patterns, something which depicted a logical inconsistency, but now things were clearing up. He used to act moronic to maintain a distance from girls sans substance, but at the same time he liked Jahnavi and would get disappointed at his debacles and would then look forward to Sid’s help. She was indeed thankful to Sid that he had helped Jignesh and never boasted of it. For this, she looked up to Sid.

Ting Tong.
Sid’s doorbell rang.
Sid: “Hey man, what’s up? Come on in. I must salute your punctuality. Dinner is ready; we will finish that and then sit for study. That should be fine?”
Jignesh: “You are seldom wrong .”

They hurriedly finished the dinner and then went to the study room. Sid was quick to note, there were certain things waiting to come out, but he thought pushing would not be a good idea. But his curiosity was getting the better of him as he knew it had to be only one matter.

Sid: “What are you studying?”
Jignesh: “Cardio-vascular system.”
Sid: “Which part?”
Jignesh: “Oxygenated and De-Oxygenated blood circulation between the lungs and the heart.”
Sid: “Hmmm, and what about the source of Oxygen?”
Jignesh: “Means?”

Sid smiled. He loved confusing Jignesh in life and Biology. He was a master at both. He knew the iron was hot now and this was the time for the hammer to descend.

Sid: “What is the matter, dude?”

Jignesh knew the secret was out and hated Sid for his excellence.

Jignesh: “I told Jahnavi about you, how you had helped me in those situations.”
Sid: “What??????????????? And how did she react?”
Jignesh: “She was pondering over what I said. Did not speak a word with me. I came out from there as her silence was killing me.”

Sid was not able to comprehend, what on earth had compelled Jignesh to tell Jahnavi about Sid. Now she will think Jignesh is of no use. A Good-for-Nothing fellow. He felt all his efforts going down the drain. How sincerely I was trying that these two souls can come closer and establish a never-ending relationship. He thought.

Sid: “Are you nuts? Why the hell you told her all this?”
Jignesh: “Sid, I will be indebted to you the whole life, for the help you have extended selflessly to me. Initially I liked her as she was different from the other girls around. Her beauty was not skin deep. Slowly my attraction increased exponentially and you know what, secretly I used to wish for a debacle to happen as it gave me another chance to speak to her. Of course, that second chance would not have been successful without your help, buddy. And we became acquaintances, and then friends, then good friends, then close friends and then some steps ahead of what we call “JUST FRIENDS”. We had started realizing each other’s worth and importance and had started developing a sense of respect for each other. She also realized that I was not a real moron and was surprised knowing that I had managed to be-friend her on my own after all those debacles. This was partly true; she has to know the truth. I cannot continue in the relationship with a false image about me. If I lie now once today, I will have to keep lying until I screw up the relationship and a few lives. It’s like a shirt’s button, if one button goes out of line, all the others follow suit and the rectification has to be at the first button going awry. I know she will be upset knowing the truth, but she is mature, understanding and knows me as a person and will realize. I have faith in her; she will come back to me.”

Sid was taken aback, was he talking to the same Jignesh, the moron, the bio-geek who used to come to him after every debacle. He realized Jignesh was a master-piece of a human being. Sid thought, I just knew how to talk to a girl and I was probably too generic in my approach as well, but Jignesh is far too excellent then me in handling relationships and understanding the far-reaching consequences of a long-lasting relationship.

Sid: “Dude, you have surprised me today like anything. I salute you for the mature sense of understanding you have just displayed. And trust me, going by my analysis of Jahnavi I can say that she is mature enough to know the REAL YOU. She will definitely come back to you. Just give her some time and wait for her call.”

Jignesh saw his cell phone and froze to deaths.
Jignesh: “Jesus, the cell battery did not get a better time to die out. Do you have a charger?”
Sid: “Seems like you have some hard luck today. Mine is Reliance phone you know, Dad has a Nokia charger but that broke in the morning itself, so he’s too charging the cell in the office. Let’s get back to studies, will see tomorrow.”

Jignesh grinned and went back to study. Now he knew he won’t even know if she tried to contact him. If she actually did, the possibility of which looked remote to him, then more troubles were waiting for him as she always used to tell him to be particular about charging the cell phone and he was careless in this matter and with today’s confession, a dead cell battery was the last thing he expected to happen.

The Vodafone number you are trying to call is switched off.
Jahnavi: “Why is his cell switched off? Must have forgotten to charge his cell. These guys never listen. The more you tell them, the more they act stupid and careless. Oh Lord, can’t you grant some wisdom to these morons?”

Mom: “What happened sweetheart? Whom are you cursing?”

Jahnavi felt embarrassed at being caught. She warded off the topic saying that it was about a friend whose cell phone was switched off and she urgently needed some college notes. I will have to tell mom sooner or later, can’t hide for long. She called again, switched off. Now how long do I have to wait before that stupid realizes that he has to charge his cell phone? Thinking she went inside her study room.