And they call it a man's world

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.
If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.
If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.
If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.
In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?
Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.
If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.
Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.
Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.
Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Freedom of Expression

This article has been influenced by the movie Taare Zameen Par.

Is expressiveness a necessary mandate in the language of communication? Ishaan Awasthi is just like any other child, but sadly enough suffers from dyslexia, a neurological disorder which disables his normal brain processing to judge and discriminate shapes of alphabets, memorize and cognize them when confronted again. This abnormality does not allow him to perform daily task with the ease that other children of his age can.

His parents are not able to reciprocate to his needs of support, love and understanding and constantly pressurize him to perform in studies, a pressure that he is not at all able to take, nor talk about it. He has developed a fear to express himself to his parents and starts resenting all their efforts, to make him understand the need for his performance in order to survive in this over – competitive world, go for a toss. Exasperated and not able to comprehend his behavior, his parents send him to a boarding school much to his dislike.

Ishaan had an uncanny ability of painting and through his painting he used to express himself, but it needed a sensitive eye to notice the pain expressed in his paintings. His elder brother being a scholar – performer, his parents wanted him to follow his elder brother’s footsteps but in this process, all of them got alienated from him. His inability to perform and stand up to the expectations of his parents brutally murdered his self – confidence and this further drove him away from his family. To depict this pain he painted a series of paintings of his parents, his brother and himself and in each painting he used to move himself away a little bit. When the paintings were dropped in a sequence, it depicted his slow alienation from his family, his support system and his recession into the oblivion of loneliness and silence.

The pain which small, innocent and fragile Ishaan could not express through words took the form of brush strokes. The messages he used to convey through his paintings at a tender age of 9 had the potential to rattle the hearts of grown-ups as well. The mode of communication that Ishaan developed was certainly off – track but the compulsion underlying the foundation of its development was nurtured and nourished by this inability of the society to understand pain and its various forms of expression. The view that words are the only form of efficient communication and other form of arts like painting, literature and music are just modes of recreation is what fuels the sad reality of unfortunately different souls like Ishaan finding it difficult to survive in this world.

Such sad reception of other forms of art has also led to euphoria in the society that until and unless a child performs in studies and gets topper marks; he has no stay and say in this ultra – competitive world. Even if the child has some serious problem, continuing in his studies and has some other talents that he wants to develop, he is forbidden to do so till he does not rebel against it and ensure that he has his own way. This could be easy for a normal child but for a visibly compromised child like Ishaan who craves for understanding to convey his inabilities, resentment and resorting to rebellious techniques to nurture his talent cannot be an easy task.

If the liveliness of such a child is killed in the initial foundation days then the society stands the risk of losing invaluable talents. In today’s world everyone wants their child to be a topper, a doctor, an engineer or an MBA and parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to perform. This puts the kid in a spot and makes him feel guilty if he fails. Such thoughts act as poisons to creative talent and do not allow it to flourish and blossom.

Communication is a powerful tool and nature has its own beautiful methods of doing so which are devoid of any words. Birds chirping, winds blowing, flowers blossoming, all convey some message to us. A message that just doing a humdrum and slumber job and arranging finances is not life. It is just one of the ways to live life and should not replace the actual beauty life is. Ishaan did this in a wonderful manner through his paintings and showed it to the world that an unfortunate child like who is still struggling to identify alphabets, a task his contemporaries do without an iota of unease, can perform wonders even without support. Wonder what his capabilities could have been, had his parents understood him and not put a pressure on him to perform the way other kids perform and not put the constraint of verbal communication of expressiveness on him.