Open letter to the Director, WCD, Karnataka

Hello Madam,

As I understand you are the director of Women and Child Development in Karnataka. I would like to put this question to you, as to what is the WCD ministry doing for lakhs of those innocent suffering women who are thrusted to jail on mere allegations (true or false) of mental harassment and torture related to dowry.

I am writing this email from my son’s email id. My name is Neena R Dhulia. I am a 60 year old woman who has to attend court dates every month, here in Bangalore for my estranged Daughter -in - law has filed 3 false cases implicating me, my aged and ailing husband and my 27 year old young son. One case has been filed in Kolkata for which my son has to make monthly trips to Kolkata taking leaves from office. My husband is suffering from asthma, chronic bronchitis and is retired. We are solely dependent on our only son for all expenses.

Here is the brief of the ordeal we went thro’ and are still undergoing and if you do not help us, it will continue without any end.

My son’s was an arranged marriage and it took place on 12th Feb 2007 in Kolkata. No sooner after the marriage it came to forth that the girl, Viral Goda (maiden name) had serious psychological and behavioral problems. She was suffering from extreme mood swing and was used to utter habitual lies. Within just 2 months of the marriage, she went to her parents’ place for some days. My son also booked a flght ticket for her as demanded by her father. After going there, her behavior changed very much. She stopped talking to us and within 2 weeks her father refused to send her back, till her ‘conditions’ are satisfied and refused to disclose the same. After that they went incommunicado over phone. My son could not take leaves from office, so he sent her a plain letter asking her to come back. She did not come back. After about a month or so, my husband went to Kolkata, struggling with his dwindling health, to bring her back.

She insulted him badly in front of our relatives and said that my son will have to sign on 10 of her and 6 of her father’s conditions and then only will she ‘think’ of returning. They did not even disclose their conditions and kept pressurizing for my son to go to Kolkata from Bangalore to sign the conditions. They had visited all our relatives’ place and defamed us so much (and specifically me) with false and concocted stories convincing them so much, that no one came forth to our help. We kept them requesting for an amicable settlement, but they never listened to us. Suddenly on 10th September 2007, they landed at our place with the local police and blamed us for ‘Harassing her for dowry’. This was a totally baseless and false allegation as we are Gujarati Jains and there is no Dowry system in our community. Soon their agenda became clear when they demanded 12 lacs rupees in front of the police for not filing the case. Even the police did not listen to us. My son kept pleading to the officer to give him a chance to present our side of the story. But the police officer was in no mood to listen. He also behaved very badly with me and talked to in a manner very unbecoming of a police officer of the rank of SHO talking to an elderly woman. When we failed to satisfy their illegal demands, they filed the case with the cock and bull story they told the police. We were kept in over night police custody. Next day me and my husband were granted bail on health grounds and my son was sent to the Central Jail for 2 days. They also bribed the PP to object for my son’s bail for at least 15 days. But the learned judge granted bail to my son. It has been almost 10 months now since then and apart from court dates, nothing much has happened. In addition they filed cases on us under Domestic Violence Act 2005, 125 CrPC. She has demanded 30, 000 per month as maintenance in Bangalore in DV Act and 30,000 in maintenance. Already she is getting interim Rs. 2500 per month as maintenance under Domestic Violence Act. All this happened to us just because she is a ‘married woman’ and has cried hoarse of dowry harassment. We were put to jail without trial.

They even got this printed in the Times Of India, pg 3, 13 Sept 2007, Bangalore Edition. Why is the media so biased? Even before the case has gone to trial, they have published the verdict. Why is your department not taking action against such biased media reports?? Such false reports are poisoning our society and strangulating the family system of India. People, knowing that they may get a girl child are heading towards abortion as they fear that there are 80 % chances that their daughter will be killed, kicked, raped or tortured for dowry, as published by UN. Why is your department not taking objection to these false and baseless reports adversely brainwashing the mindset of the common people?

This is just a brief version. There are many more things that happened to us. But what I want to know from you is, does your esteemed ministry consider the mothers and sisters of a married Indian male as women? If it does so, then how come in the last 4 years, 95, 000 innocent women have been arrested on mere complaints, without any trial being conducted and your esteemed department is totally mum about it? The laws meant to protect a woman are working against them. For every complaint of dowry harassment made by one woman, there are on an average 3-4 women who are harassed by the police and later it is found that the matter is settled out of court with payment to girls side to the tune of lacs. One word, DOWRY, a married woman utters in front of the police to hide all her follies and the whole family of the in - laws is devastated and treated worst then hardcore criminals like murderers, rapists, burglars and dacoits. Is this the era of Women Liberation for which such laws were passed ??

Why is it that your department is not vouching to fight against this misuse of dowry laws rather than spreading false statistics. A study conducted by Center for Social Research shows that the misuse is to the tune of 98 %. And yet such a law is let loose for Legal Terrorism to be unleashed on innocent law abiding and honest tax paying citizens of India and that too in today’s era of WOMEN EMPOWERMENT.

Is this what your department calls for WOMEN EMPOWERMENT that when a girl fails to deliver her role in a marriage because of her parents’ faulty upbringing, the blame has to be happily passed over to innocent in-laws and terrorise them to coerce them for a payment of the girls’ misdeeds and follies.

This is not only just my case. My son has joined an NGO called Save Indian Family Foundation, that is dedicated to the cause of creating awareness against this ongoing Legal Terrorism and help its victims. Just in Bangalore, alone every week he says, he gets around 8 - 10 new cases and these are the ones who have somewhere heard about the NGO and approach them for help. There are many many silent victims who are dying a slow death everyday as they have no one to listen to theri woes or help them.

Open Letter to the WCD Minister

To,

Ms. Renuka Choudhury,

Minister, Government of India,

Ministry of Women and Child Development,

Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,

New Delhi-110001

Sub : Review of Domestic Violence Act, 2005 on 25th June 2008

Respected Madam,

This is in connection to the review meeting and the article in Today’s Telegraph: Men wail on Renuka’s shoulders

It is extremely surprising that NONE of the below NGOs fighting for family harmony and male rights have been invited for the 25th June 2008 review meeting on Domestic Violence Act 2005, till date.

Organizations working towards stoppage of misuse of Dowry Laws and Legal Terrorism in India and promoting family and marital harmony

1. Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), Bangalore: 0934285323538/09845143724
2. Save Family Foundation (SFF), Delhi: 9810611534 / 9911119113
3. Gender Human Rights Society, Delhi : 9899329991 / 9811052770
4. Manushi, Delhi : 011-23978851 / 9350041502
5. Men Cell, Delhi : 9810170681 / 9868142608
6. Mothers and Sisters Initiative (MASI), Delhi : 9818454928
7. Save Innocent Mother and Sister (SIMS), Bangalore:09342041382
8. Protect Indian Family (PIF), Mumbai : 09869323538 / 09821414336
9. Men Rights Protection, Mumbai : 09892668560
10. Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata : 09830151555
11. Protect Men’s Right, Kerala : 09387052990 / 0484230478
12. Sahana, Hyderabad:09848280354 / 09908578457
13. Asha Kiran, Bangalore: 080-65334135
14. Kutumb Rakshna Vedike, Bangalore : 09886934853
15. Protect Men’s Rights, Orissa : 0943708337
16. Pati Pariwar Kalyan Samiti, Lucknow : 09839097522
17. Rakshak, USA/Delhi : 9810452017
18. My Nation, Dubai/USA: 0096-53869295
19. Pirito Purush Pati Parishad Kolkata : 09433094337 / 09231529437
20. All India Forgotten Women, Hyderabad : 09704683163
21. Gujarat Gaurav Raksha Samiti (GGRS) : Vijay Wadhwani
22. The Akhil Bharatiya Patni Atyachaar Virodhi Sangh (ABPAVS), Gujarat
23. Association of Protection of Mens Rights, Chennai
24. Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting, Bangalore (CRISP)
25. Peoples United Relationship Enhancement, Mysore (PURE)
26. Save Indian Family Organisation Rajasthan, Jaipur
27. Purushak Sangrashan Sanstha, Nasik

The websites:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyNationFoundation
www.saveindianfamily.org
www.mynation.net
www.498a.org
www.protectindianfamily.org
www.siftimes.com
www.savefamily.org
www.vaghelasv.com
www.pariwariksuraksha.org
www.mancell.i8.com

http://killingmarriageforvotes.wordpress.com/report-a-blog/

Various NGOs from the above list have already submitted their memorandums separately in February 2008 on the comments on the review of Domestic Violence Act 2005, and till date NONE of the above NGOs have received the invitation to join the review committee on 25th June 2008.

It is even more surprising then who are these 100 male activists who have been invited in the meeting? An RTI is also being filed to know the credentials of these 100 Male activists, the NGOs to which they belong, the NGOs websites and their memorandums and what have these NGOs done for the male rights till date.

Awaiting an early response from your end as it is already 21st June, 2008 and it take some time for these above NGOs for preparation for the 25th June 2008 Domestic Violence Review Meeting.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,

Legal Fighter

A Victim of your Women Centric - Male Hater laws

And they call it a man's world

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.
If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.
If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.
If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.
In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?
Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.
If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.
Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.
Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.
Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Society - A Mirage?

Gender wars have been at the core of the societal imbalance since ages immemorial. And these wars have been largely instrumental in the design and state of the society. All major societal structures like relationships, obligations, social and moral responsibilities revolve around this concept of gender wars. Various behavioral patterns and social norms are also laid down in and around this concept of Gender wars.
By and large the society is what we see today a result of these conflicts arising out of daily life. But now we have a million dollar question, as to what exactly is the society and who actually comprise of it? How has the so called ‘contractors of the society’ been given the authority to rule the lives and decision of so many other people and in reality who actually are the ‘contractors of the society’? What laid to the installation of the fear of social ostracization amongst folks so that a certain set of activities are doomed as ‘unacceptable’ in the society and the people of the clan always take care to see that the banned set of activities is not encouraged in the society? And a plethora of such questions do certainly irk the rationale as one analyzes the evolution of the society.
As a general observation and a rule of thumb, every person in the society defines “The Society” to be comprising of the people around oneself excluding oneself. Thus, the society actually becomes a very convenient scapegoat for wrongful decisions or the need for strict adherence to certain practices without understanding its essentialities or consequences.
If a girl runs away with the neighborhood boy, the family is more concerned about its position in the society rather than the girl’s emotions and feelings and even if she returns, the family is more happy about restoring the ‘apparently lost’ position. If the girl asks the question about her feelings and emotions or expects them to be reciprocated by the family, the family is actually at a loss of answers and thus conveniently passes the blame to the society, saying ‘It is not acceptable in our society’.
If a boy does not perform so well in his studies or his career, then also the family is more concerned about its repercussions on the societal position rather than trying to understand the reasons of his non – performance. Or to make an attempt to understand his actual area of interest and give him a chance to perform in that area. On the other hand, the family pressurizes him to get results as they are ‘losing position’ in the society. And if the boy asks the question about his own interests, then also the blame is very conveniently passed to the society, saying, ‘If you want to stay in this society, you have to stay according to it’.
The whole concept of society has been so deceptively conceived to pass on certain ubiquitously stereotypic histrionics generation over generation, that now the very basic question, the one raised above is very difficult to answer. It is not hard to find people talking ill of the society, cribbing about the wrongs happening in the society, the rising crime, the growing apathy, the dwindling commitment in relationships, the increasing commercialization leading to severe breach of trusts and so on and so forth. But at the same time, it is equally hard to find a dedicated team of committed people ready to take the responsibility to set at least one of them correctly. Again, in the process of cribbing and complaining, people pass the blame to the society thinking that everyone else other than themselves forms the society and being responsible for the mess, should clear it.
With everyone thinking themselves not to be a part of the society this whole concept of society, which actually finds its seeds in the dire need to establish civilization, remains present in a very inconspicuous form. Like a mirage in a desert, visible from a distance, and disappearing fast as one approaches it. Similarly for the problems faced by the civil society at present, a superficial glance will always depict that the society itself is responsible for the mess. But if analyzed closely, it boils down to the question, whether everyone actually does consider oneself as part of the society and ready to take one’s responsibility in setting right things right. And had everyone actually done it, the society as it stands today, would have been in a much better shape and form, if the society actually existed outside us. It does not. It exists within us. Each one of us is the society and each one needs to put in efforts to stabilize the swinging pendulum of societal chaos.
It is still not late. We can do it now. We will do it now. For its now or never.

Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008

http://www.citizens4crisp.org

Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794

PRESS RELEASE

On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest.

CRISP is an initiative aimed at protecting the rights of the children.

CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of "parental alienation" on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a child to remain connected with both parents in case parents get divorced. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education, etc. we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children.

According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on "shared parenting" and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the children.

Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent. This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent.

Indian legal system is still based on a patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work, doing domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, the father's involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers.

The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries.

CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children's upbringing before proceeding with the divorce.

"Studies have shown that children who go through their parents' divorce have

· more conduct problems,

· symptoms of psychological maladjustment,

· lower academic achievement,

· social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the child has to be stopped.

Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes, “One father is better than 100 teachers."

In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are:

· 5 times more likely to commit suicide

· 32 times more likely to run away from home.

· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· 14 times more likely to commit rape.

· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

· 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution

· 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

· 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

· At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.

It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioral problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child.

As custody battles between parents increase, counseling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child.

CRISP wants to highlight:

That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.

That "Interparental Child Abduction" is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.

That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse.

That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren.

That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation.

That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

Demands by CRISP - Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting:

· Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents.

· Single mothers should be given mandatory counseling to increase involvement of biological father in the child's life.

· Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.

· Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitized to consider child's wish.

· 50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.

· Govt. must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.

· Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed.

On 14^th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastrophe in future.

To the WCD Ministry

Honorable Ministers,

As a citizen of India, I seek an answer to the following questions:-

1. As per NCRB data every year, 56000 married men are committing suicide every year on an average. If a married woman dies, it by default assumed to be a dowry death and the whole family of husbands is thrown in to jail. Whereas for a husband death it is just marked off as another death and no action is taken. So is the value of a man's life any less than a woman's life? Or is it that the pain of a mother / sister losing her son / brother is out of the ambit of the purview of these ministries?
2. Why is there no clause of punishment for people filing false cases under section 498A and 3 & 4 DP Act and Domestic Violence Act 2005 and 125 CrPC?
3. Why is section 498A violating the basic principles of Human Rights as laid down by Amnesty International and assumes the accused 'Guilty until proven innocent'?
4. As per NCRB data, 1, 00,000 innocent women have been arrested under section 498A IPC and Section 3 & 4 DP Act, without any trial, merely on the basis of allegations. What action has your concerned ministry taken in this regard to ensure that the offenders are booked and such actions are not repeated in future?
5. Day in and day out, we here cases of senior citizens being evicted out of their own dream home, built out of life - savings by their unscrupulous Daughter -in - law. What has your concerned ministry done to redress the grievances of those mothers who lost their home, their abode in their dusky days to the misuse of a system badly implemented?
6. DV Act is termed Ultra - Vires the Constitution of India as it advocates conviction of a person on sole testimony of complainants and violating Article 13 of the Indian Constitution which says, "All citizens are equal in the eyes of law". So has your concerned ministry taken steps to redress the same loophole? If not, why so? And if there are any plans, when so?

Is it a man' world?

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.

If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.

If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.

If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.

In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?

Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.

If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.

Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.

Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.

Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Protest in Bangalore on Father's Day - 14th June

It takes a man & a woman to make a relationship, known as marriage and the most beautiful outcome of such a relationship are children; beautiful, innocent, full of life, sweet, charming and hordes of other adjectives can be ascribed to them. But irony seems to have devoured even this aspect of life. Children of late have become a tool to obtain, maintain, and sustain supremacy and ego feeding in relationships. Whenever a relationship worsens, a tussle starts between the warring errant couples to get a good scorecard from their children and try to retain them. Many a times they are used as a blackmailing weapon. Men are threatened of false cases if they make an attempt to meet their children. In such a war of egos, no-one, including the two individuals who brought them to this world together, ever bother to think about the rights and future of the children themselves.

Errant and vindictive mothers are often successful in getting custody of their children, courtesy staunchly feminist nymphomaniac mindset of the judiciary giving in to crocodile tears and false show of motherhood in courts. This deprives two individuals of their rights, the child and the father. A child is deprived of a father’s love, affection and care and the father is forced to strangulate his fatherhood. The society and the judiciary need to be sensitized about the importance of the presence of both the parents for a child’s normal upbringing and in the best interest of the child’s future. USA has shown us the catastrophic effects of creating Fatherless Children and Childless Fathers. Teenage Pregnancy, Alcohol addiction in adolescence, high inclination to crimes and many other ill – effects have come to forth in the American Society, courtesy feminism taking its toll with its anti – men policy. With draconian laws favoring women irrespective of merits in Indian legal scenario, Indian society is moving at dramatic pace towards self – extinction.

CRISP (Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting) an initiative taken under the aegis of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) has made its mission to voice the cries of innocent sufferers and sensitize the society about the dire need of both the parents and especially a father in a child’s life. Announcing its launch on 14^th June 2008 at Gandhi Statue on MG Road, near Cubbon Park, CRISP invites people to participate in this noble cause and make an attempt to save the society from a potential and impending catastrophe.